The Ashley Tisdale Rate.

As that guy who was hated for playing "Everybody move" on the jukebox at a campus bar, may I protest at Ashley desecrating the memory of Cathy Dennis, back when she was the female British artist with more 90s number 1s than anyone else.
We're out of the bottom 10!

Will the cover massacre continue?

Will Guilty Pleasure lose a track this time?

No. It's time for a classic to get out of the competition.



I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me)

Average: 5.18
Highest: 9 x 1 (@Conan)
Lowest: 0 x 2 (@Plethorya, @LA Hallucinations)

She did that. She dared to cover an absolute classic. Ashley Tisdale sang Whitney Houston. The result? Polarizing. Continuing the Degree Girl campaign strategy, this cover of I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me) - arguably the definitive 80s dance-pop masterclass - was released in April 2008, available through codes you could find in the brand's deodorant packaging. Fascinating, if you ask me. Musically speaking, this reinterpretation trades the original's dancefloor euphoria for a vibe that's evocative of summer and... generic, forgettable teen pop. I originally submitted a 6 for this jam but had to give it an extra point for, well, my younger self's worship of it and the fact that I still unabashedly love it. It was also, I must note, a defining bop of my summer in 2008. Would I like this if I had heard it today for the first time? Probably not, but who cares?

Those who were, erm, unaccostumed to this lesser version of I Wanna Dance did not respond well to it. 0-giver Plethorya can't defend Ashley on this one: "I generally champion the small voices, but Whitney? Girl. Know your limits." Another panelist who finds the decision to cover Whitney tragic is constantino, who assures "I’m ok with her covering Belinda Carlisle but not Whitney…some artists shouldn’t be touched…and Whitney is one of them. It’s a decent attempt but oh so unnecessary." WhenTheSunGoesDown exposes the rent-a-producer(s) again. "How the hell did they manage to make this song sound so flat and un-fun? That took some actual effort! Let me quote another Youtube comment: 'Just too much music'." What does that even mean? I don't know, but I am cackling.

Lost In Japan
. provides a rare instance of commentary and is more benevolent towards Ashley's ambitious attempt: "Like I should hate this because the Whitney original is one of my all-time favourite songs and is unbeatable, but this is kind of cute in that like, you have to admire the effort of someone with Ashley damn Tisdale’s vocal ability attempting THIS song." "Yawn", mouths DJHazey. "Whitney makes me want to dance with somebody, but Ashley makes me want to take a nap instead." Queen of disco naps! iheartpoptarts is skeptical of the Timbaland-like production and calls the verses "horrifying", but acknowledges that "the chorus saves it." Sally_Harper mistakes this thread for Your unpopular pop opinions and admits her dislike for the original version. "Ashley’s at a bit of a disadvantage here because I’ve never been fond of this song and am not thrilled to have to listen to it." Prepare for the crucifixion. "She sounds pretty good on it to be fair, apart from the weird distorted bits, although she’s buried in the mix a bit on the chorus, and that’s pretty much all I have to say about it."


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I guess it's technically night in the US...
(Rudeness aside, I'm enjoying this rate so much!)

It's awful, I know, but just the amount of time I spend on searching images for covers and coming up with ideas... It's fairly simple for, say, a song from Headstrong or Guilty Pleasure, but when it's an extra... Glad you're all liking it.

Tomorrow we'll get into the top 40 and I'll be right on track again.
My Ashley/Whitney artwork/album cover tribute did not garner as many praise, compliments and Grammys as I expected, so I will retreat and scream into an abyss. Or, you know, continue the reveals.



Shadows of the Night

Average: 5.22
Highest: 8.5 x 1 (@Lost In Japan.)
Lowest: 0 x 2 (@Plethorya, @sexercise)

Ashley's filmography is a bit tragic if you ask me. Sure, she's bagged quite a lot of features to be proud of: it starts with a minor feature on Donnie Darko and a voice role on A Bug's Life - promising; yatta yatta irrelevant pictures and then the career-spawning High School Musical trilogy. Then it's stuff like Bring It On, Aliens in the Attic, Scary Movie 5 and, of course, Picture This. A straight-to-DVD mess which not even I have seen, but probably will for the kiis. Classic tale of nerd girl who becomes popular queen for some reason, meets some guy and sings at the prom. And what better to choose for a prom performance than an 80s Pat Benatar song? Shadows of the Night it is!

A little bit of rate trivia for you lot: Shadows was originally not considered for the song list because I had forgotten about it. I_CANNOT_USE_REAL_WORDS_PROPERLY_. But this was actually one of my favorite Ashley bops back then. I have no idea why I gave this a 6 too, mess. While not the biggest fan of this cover, tylerc904 "love her obsession with the 80's." "This is damn good", hails DJHazey, who applauds "the vibe of this obvious 80s cover (looked it up and sure enough it is from the 80s). She actually wouldn't be bad as the lead-singer of a pop/rock group." Ashley and the Tisdales. No, actually scrap that, it sounds like a nightmare. constantino kind of likes this but at the same time not really? "OK Ashley, give me that washed-out, 80s-tinged rock-pop track that I didn’t ask for! This is serviceable and one of the better extras so I’ll excuse the general tiredness of it."

Meanwhile, WhenTheSunGoesDown nonchalantly throws it a 7, writing "Sure, whatever." Probably what she thought on recording this song. "The chorus is great, the rest does nothing for me", opines headztrong. Two voters seize the opportunity to gush or be embarrassed over their memories of Picture This. Lost In Japan. is thrilled "OMG, I had completely forgotten about Picture This! I remember watching it when it came out. There’s a great scene where Robbie Amell comes out of a swimming pool wearing a pair of red trunks. A defining moment of my youth." No comments on the song but at least it was worth it to see this. iheartpoptarts seems less excited: "Confession time: I’ve actually seen this movie. So, um, yeah." "How do I un-hear something?", asks sexercise. Mess.

Next up... Sharpay ain't resting so soon.​
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That was pretty enjoyable and I gave it an 8. No idea what the movie or what song was covered or anything, so I was caught off guard by it.
That cover art is amazing @Push

Thank you! The next one isn't. But it's my alternative design era! (My ARTPOP could mean anything)



You Are the Music in Me (Reprise)

Average: 5.36
Highest: 10 x 2 (@coolforthesummer, @Sprockrooster)
Lowest: 0 x 1 (@sexercise)

Fuck Troy and Gabriella, their sappy sing-along love theme from High School Musical 2; leave it to Miss Evans to steal it and transform it in a full-blown electric anthem - if a little messy in part. Intended as a duet with Troy (Zac), this tune sums up what everybody loves about Sharpay, or so I thought. The UK at least did low-key stan for this song, which peaked at #89 on its singles chart. At the end of the day, it's still a HSM song so my expectations for this weren't too high. My score was a 7.5, and what did you think?

Our own GhettoPrincess feels that "Ashley rocks this song but Zac Efron is awful especially on that chorus." Poor thing, he's not used to performing! DJHazey is ambivalent towards the "Cute enough attempt at the whole 60s style of pop-rock-bop" and expresses his desire to switch places with Troy: "What's really is special is how Troy clearly is not there for any of this and should let me be controlled by Sharpay instead. Tell me what to do, queen!" A mess. "Fuck you and your shitty sappy ballad version, Kelsi!" curses WhenTheSunGoesDown, who states "Sharpay knows how to make a song fun." headztrong continues the harmony among voters, claiming it is "better than the original, thank you very much."

While some voters bask in the clearly superior version, Sally_Harper isn't having it. "No. I’m pretty sure I’ve had nightmares about Sharpay singing this. The other version would get a 10 but this does nothing for me." I see Gabriella Montez found her way onto Popjustice! Just kidding, I also love the original. Sprockrooster is ecstatic: "YAAAAAAAAAAAAS! So fierce. BRING IT!" and I tell you, expect love letters from Island. mat.overboard inquires "Why Ashley isn't as good as Sharpay? Embrace the character, girl!" and I feel some Hannah Montana teas brewing. constantinno crowns Sharpay as "Queen of ignoring Troy’s requests, shatter his fragile masculinity a biT." Another "Yassss QUEEN" comes from Lost in Japan: "force Kelsi to transpose this into your key, duet with heartthrob Zac, you did THAT." iheartpoptarts can't help but feel sorry for poor Troy, and sexercise just asks "Why?". Well, Sharpay has a trophy to win! (If you don't remember this y'all better dig out that HSM2 DVD.)

Okay I've been able to check the covers on my phone @Push (instead of my image-blocking work computer). You Are The Music In Me looks really dark and I couldn't tell what it was and Shadows Of The Night is beautiful but it's giving me 'Hilary rate, @DJHazey grabbing a nice of picture of Hilary and adding a title to it via MS paint' tea. I_CANNOT_USE_REAL_WORDS_PROPERLY_.

Oh and a mess? I thought I kept it PG with some of the commentary. It could've been much worse.

I'm also wondering if some of this commentary is @Sprockrooster's or his boyf's.

And yes, it seems we do have a Gabriella in our midst.
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You Are The Music In Me looks really dark and I couldn't tell what it was and Shadows Of The Night is beautiful but it's giving me 'Hilary rate, @DJHazey grabbing a nice of picture of Hilary and adding a title to it via MS paint' tea. I_CANNOT_USE_REAL_WORDS_PROPERLY_.

How dare you? It's bloody art.


Just kidding luh ya xx (You Are The Music In Me is very dark in purpose I wanted it to give some Emily Osment's Lovesick realness, but I'll work on the Fan Demanded Version soon, and Shadows Of The Night had some recoloring done but was the cover I spent least time on I_CANNOT_USE_REAL_WORDS_PROPERLY_)