The Björk Rate: Complete. | Page 78 | The Popjustice Forum

The Björk Rate: Complete.

Discussion in 'Charts, rates etc' started by Animalia, Mar 7, 2016.

  1. Lemme give ya the first half of the tie, then prolong the agony a bit while I go shopping before revealing which poor soul loses their 11 first.



    = #48 – The Modern Things (7.76)

    Highest: 10 x3 (@vikeyeol, @NightmareBoy, @Push)
    Lowest: 4 x1 (@Zdarlight)

    Cue a chorus of “FINALLY!!!”s as Post loses one of its most divisive numbers. Well, I say that – I always thought it was a true marmite situation, and people have been calling for its exit for a while now, but aside from that one 4, y’all kept throwing 7.5s and 8s at it so it was always gonna do fairly well. It actually hung around the top 40 for a brief period, to my surprise.

    Written and demoed with Graham Massey during early Debut sessions in 1992, The Modern Things was left unmastered on the cutting room floor until being gloriously resurrected into its final, kooky Post form by Nellee Hooper & Co. The song was written in response to peoples’ rising fear of “soulless” technology, celebrating Björk’s willingness to embrace these advancements and go with flow, as it were. Of course, as pointed out a few pages ago, this song is bloody bonkers and makes absolutely no sense, but that’s part of its charm. The first verse is just so... Björk. Modern-day cars living prehistorically in mountains alongside dinosaurs that make irritating chicken noises? I love Pixar, etc. Then there’s the, uh, chorus, I guess? Which is more amazing Icelandic (again, I guess) wailing that sounds like she’s chanting about Chairman Mao. This song is certifiably insane. Our self-aware queen totally knows it though. When asked about what the hell she was on about when writing The Modern Things, she said “I thought it was really funny. I don't know - I might be the only one laughing." Never, B. We get ya.

    As endearingly odd and eccentric as the song is, it ultimately falls a bit flat. As evidenced by the relatively middling scores, The Modern Things isn’t exactly a stand-out moment in her career, but I imagine that has a lot to do with its positioning on the album – it’s the Tesco Value wafer-thin ham sandwiched between the Finest Range luxury bread that is all the undeniably massive Post singles on either side. Or something. I dunno, I’m hungry. Help me out?

    P’NutButter echoes my thoughts, saying it’s “a bit cruel that it had to follow the two huge singles, but it holds it's own. Banging on about Dinosaurs outside or whatever.” I really think it’d be better received it is switched places with I Miss You on the tracklist. “I never could fall in love with this song as much as I wish I could”, Ray admits. I’m guilty of this too, sis, as is constantino: “a bit of a weak link on the album for me, it’s still good but it has never wowed me.” Zdarlight, however, isn’t quite as unapologetic a bitch, just straight-up stating that they “never really liked this one.” AllGagaLike has a confession to make. “I never used to bother with this; it seemed to get lost among the bigger, better tracks surrounding it, but it really is great. A true grower.” It’s the grower to It’s Oh So Quiet’s shower, teebs. One Stop Candy Shop offers up a li’l anecdote: “I love how the percussion gives this a bossanova feel. Fun fact: when I was in high school we had to listen to this song in our 'music aesthetics' class. What an education that was!” Serving up some Biophilia educative realness.

    There was a fair bit of praise for the sheer absurdity of the writing. “The lyrics to this are mental, even by Björk standards” A$AP Robbie suggests; Can’t Speak French says “this is so perfectly written. It’s such a curious idea that works really well.” Push loves it too: “The topic is more interesting (and less bizarre) once you learn that it is targeted towards those who criticize, well, the modern things. And I love this. "It's that... DJEEE-HI-HI!!!" Or whatever it is that she's screaming.” Finish us, strangekin! “I think Post was the first Björk album I owned. I remember listening to the CD for the first time and audibly laughing at The Modern Things, through tears brought on by Hyperballad just before. People forget about this song a lot, or maybe they try to forget about it. It's an odd little entry to her discography, but I enjoy it.”

  2. I really like The Modern Things, but I'm not mad at it leaving, because I can kinda see why people don't like it. Weirdly, for people saying that it struggles after the previous few tracks being giant hits, I think its kinda carried along by the general amazing Post fever to some extent, so I probably give it more of a pass than I would if it was on an album (even of Bjorks) that I loved less.
    LE0Night likes this.
  3. I just find it so magical.
    LE0Night likes this.
  4. I quite like "The Modern Things," but I'm so crushed after losing two of my seven 10s, "Scatterheart" and "Harm of Will," back to back that I am completely numb. I seriously cannot believe they're out already, especially "Harm of Will," which was almost my 11! The most devastating, gorgeous song ever and one that personally means a lot to me as it got me through my first serious break-up.

    I'm fully expecting my 11 to go next, because you all seem to hate sad, beautiful things!
    LE0Night and Former member 21294 like this.
  5. Innocence is mostly a lot of noise with Björk screaming on top of it, really (and I say that as someone who gave his 11 to Pluto).
  6. Aww, I like Innocence. It was the stand-out track to me on Volta when it first came out, and was my highest rated track from that album - I gave it 8.

    The Modern Things is one of Post's weaker tracks (after Cover Me and Headphones but is still leagues above those two) but is still good. It's not one of my go-to Post tracks though.
  7. 'Innocence' is not a zero, for fuck's sake.
  8. I actually double-checked with @enjoy when they sent their scores that none of the zeroes were typo-ed 10s I_CANNOT_USE_REAL_WORDS_PROPERLY_. Each to their own, I guess.
    LE0Night likes this.
  9. Regardless of my score,it really should not have been in higher place than Harm of Will,Scartterheart,Vertebrae by Vertebrae,Pleasure is All Mine or Cosmogony.
    I really dont like the music and the beatbox thing especially in contrast to Medulla.What had been divine feels contrived and pushed in this song to me.I dont know i'm not really liking the upbeat stuff on this record other than first single.My score for Declare Independence is not that high neither.
  10. Here we go.

    Our first 11.



    = #48 – One Day (7.76)

    Highest: 11 x1 (@AllGagaLike), 10 x2 (@One Stop Candy Shop, @P'NutButter)
    Lowest: 4 x1 (@funkyg)

    This is what you get for not giving your 11 to your namesake, folks.

    One Day is a soulful, hopeful li’l ditty built around Björk describing the joys and wonders of life to her young son, detailing her hopes and dreams for him. The calm, jungle-tinged beats lumbering behind Björk’s gorgeous lullaby-esque vocals make this song so damn special, it deserved a Top 40 spot teebs. Contrary to popular belief, the cooing baby sounds at the start of the song aren’t actually Sindri, but rather just a stock sample – speaking of samples, One Day also takes small elements from both The Fatback Band’s “Put Your Love (In My Tender Care)” and Ronnie Laws’ “Always There”, if by chance any of you have ever heard of them before.

    While Björk believes that this, Aeroplane and The Anchor Song represent the more “academic, clever side” of Debut in terms of composition, the beauty of this song lies in its lyrical simplicity. It’s a straightforward love song; but not romantic love, as we see later in a far more complex form in Vespertine, but rather love for her son, and for life itself. “The beautifullest fireworks are burning in the sky for you, I can feel it!” Queen of making up words. So gorgeous. Unfortunately, as a kid I thought it was hilarious that the words “volcano” and “eruption” in this song sound like “vagina” and “erection” and I’ve never been able to unhear it, oop.

    “The opening sounds reminiscent of some terrible 90s alien/sci-fi box office bomb.” You say that like it’s a bad thing, Push. “A bit repetitive, but the highlight here is the ‘I can feel it!’ line, as well as the horn that plays in almost mute volume. This song feels summery!” P’NutButter clearly put their signature curse on the song, praising it as “one of the best tracks on the album, so good!” Blame P’Nut, everyone. I’m not really sure what Up Down Suite’s going on about, but I think it’s positive, anyway. “’I’m a chanteuse!’ ‘What are you?’ ‘I’m a chanteuse!’ ‘I know you are dahhling’ with electronic beats. Superb.” A’ight. Txetxu says “This sounds like the opening sound theme for a Windows 95, call me weird. Still love it after so many years.”, and I shan’t disappoint. Weirdo. One Stop Candy Shop dares to utter a reference that I’m physically repulsed to have to repeat… “Gorgeous. One of the more subtle songs on Debut. If I'd ever make a mixtape called 'Chillin' With You' this would be on it.” I swear to god whoever posts that song in here will have their 11 mercilessly cut with no regard to its actual position on the leaderboard. You’ve been warned.

    Ray seems to have forgotten what was in store for him later in the rating process, asking “Oh Björk, why do you have to be so effortlessly amazing all the time?” I knew your Biophilia hate was all just a facade, teebs. “Not my favourite,” constantino admits, “but the production has some lovely flourishes. It’s very tranquil, which I appreciate.” Tranquil would make a great Björk song title, actually. strangekin continues the time-honoured tradition of spoiling the video I was going to post at the end so THANKS. “As a song it's gorgeous. I loved when she brought it back on the Biophillia tour. Production is maybe a little bit dated to the point where it's a little bit distracting. A problem on a lot of Debut sadly.” On that note, ephemeralartery suggests that “the bassline in this song sounds like Emancipate Yourself by Kelis”, which is actually true, but they they’re both fantastic so we mustn’t complain. “I love how this unfolds,” says Can’t Speak French, “for the first few seconds I’m never quite sure how it goes, then it kicks in and I remember the beautiful melody.”

    Poor, unfortunate AllGagaLike shall play us out, naturally. We’re all very sorry for your loss, sis. “I'll admit it's not her best song, but that doesn't mean it's undeserving of my 11. This track has helped me so much over the years; it's my go-to whenever I'm down, doubtful or relapsing. Because when I first discovered Björk in 2012, I was in the midst of being diagnosed with ulcerative colitis, so it was a pretty strange and grim time. Anyway, shortly after that I found this song, and words can't describe how much it helped me. The way she reassures you that everything will be fine, will get better, will heal in time... it's amazing. Sure, it's no Jóga or Pagan Poetry, but it'll always be special for getting me through one of the toughest moments of my life.”

    Last edited: May 8, 2016
  11. A&E



  12. Hmmm I thought I had rated One Day a little higher than 7.5. It's quite lovely. Soz.
    Last edited: May 8, 2016
  13. Eh, before 'Crying'?!

    Y'all flops I tell you.
    AllGagaLike likes this.
  14. Me and my big mouth.

    I was 99% sure my 11 would go first but I actually don't mind much. I had no idea how it'd perform so reaching the halfway mark is alright by me!

    I'm secretly seething.
  15. I'm listening to 'One Day' right now and it's a lot more beautiful than I remember...
    AllGagaLike likes this.
  16. ohnostalgia

    ohnostalgia Staff Member

    I didn't lose my 11 first! Watch me be second though.
    LE0Night, constantino and Animalia like this.
  17. As @AllGagaLike pointed out, we're officially halfway through our countdown! And as I'm sure you've started to realise, pretty much everything from this point onwards fucking stings. Good luck to you all.
  18. It really does sound like Emancipate Yourself. This is probably my favorite track from Debut and totally worth an 11. I'm sorry for your loss @AllGagaLike!
    AllGagaLike likes this.
  19. I always "mis-heard" her growling in The Modern Things as "German Men"...which is always so politically charged.
    Also I noticed that the chord progression is very similar to Big Time Sensuality. Of course The Modern Things´melody is much more beautiful than BTS.

    One Day is glorious. Love the 808 State-esque sound of it.
    LE0Night and Karvel like this.
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