■□ The Boy Group Debut Singles Rate □■ ☆ 60TH PLACE ☆ | Page 9 | The Popjustice Forum

■□ The Boy Group Debut Singles Rate □■ ☆ 60TH PLACE ☆

Discussion in 'K-pop' started by karmarisma, Oct 16, 2017.

  1. Soon.

    Alright I should probably apologise for the delays, but please accept our first elimination of the rate as my apology~

    ZE:A - Mazeltov


    MazelFLOP ★ -1

    @ThighHighs @karmarisma @eliminathan

    MazelBOP ★ 7.5
    I'm not sure whether many of you have even heard of this song before, or even heard of ZE:A before; however anyone who has ventured into K-Variety or K-Drama would definitely be familiar with some of these names:
    • Kwanghee / aka. Self-Acknowledged Comedian and Plastic Surgery Expert
    • Siwan / Flower boy visuals and ace actor (a receiver of karmarisma's utmost love and affection)
    • Hyungsik / Flower boy visuals and overflowing manliness
    • Dongjun / The member in charge of being athletic

    I don't bother mentioning the others, because I don't know all of them, and neither do you (most likely). However, the biggest tragedy that ZE:A ever had is having such iconic solo members who excelled in their own fields (well…4 of them at least), yet once they all came together as a group - they experienced nothing but floppage and struggle.

    However, if you take a peek at ZE:A's discography, it's actually not half bad?

    But let's talk about this…err…song (???cacophanous destruction of ears) though. If you were hearing this for the first time, and tried to get any meaning out of it, you may have struggled? And that's quite understandable, because a good song or a good movie makes people think. In that respect, ZE:A were quite ahead of the times. I had to take a good look at the English translations, to form my own sort of LOONA-fandom level deductions about what ZE:A and Mazeltov could possibly be talking about.

    mazel tov
    ˈmaz(ə)l ˌtɔːv,ˌtɒf/

    1. (among Jewish people) congratulations; good luck

    So the first piece of the puzzle, ZE:A were saying congratulations (and in a different language, nontheless), but the real mystery was…what were they celebrating? I decided to take a closer look at the lyrics...

    Break it down, red beat down, knock you down, here we go
    Oh uh uh uh uh uh uh, you're really really making me want to dance
    Latin girl, Mexican girl, Korean girl, Japan girl
    My beating heart isn't stopping, yeah yeah yeah mirror mirror mirror
    Mazeltov have strength, Mazeltov smile,
    Mazeltov, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday
    Mazeltov, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday
    I hope you will at least give me some strength, my my my girl

    At this point, you've either had a lightbulb moment, or you're still scratching your head, so let me tell you about the sheer brilliance of this . In a world, where bad things still happen, and people still discriminate against each other - ZE:A is bringing an end to fetishising. ZE:A is embracing girls of all nationalities. They're shouting Mazeltov every day of the week, whether it be Monday or Sunday because we should celebrate girls everyday. In fact, this is a song that's almost deserving of the Nobel Peace Prize.
    [DISCLAIMER: This is my highly flawed interpretation]

    But putting aside this life-changing motif, why did such a moving and captivating message land ZE:A a horrendous rank of 60th?

    Here's a list of all the things that went wrong with this song and concept:
    • Absolutely Disgusting Autotune
    • Awkward body roll fake shirt lift moves
    • Dusty looking makeup on fine looking boys
    • A pre-release version of Rebecca Black's Friday (except it has more days of the week)
    • Exclusion of Caucasian girls, Guatemalan Girls, Indian Girls and girls of all the remaining 200 countries
    • Debuting from one of the trashiest companies: Star Empire
    • A group name that has no pronunciation guide and requires me to type a colon

    Perhaps one of the redeeming factors was the hand tut section, but it's best watched on low volume or even on mute.

    I feel like I could go on and on, but let's just hear what everyone thought

    Thigh Highs wasn't here for the educational merits of this song "It’s literally just the days of the week. LITERALLY."

    While eliminathan kept the savagery going by absolutely destroying the effort our poor boys put into their pre-autotuned vocals <let me just correct you there - they're actually saying 'Jump Up' not 'Shibom'>: "SHIBOM SHIBOM SHIBOM (like a dancing). All of their voices are absolutely grating especially the adlibs and whoever had the audacity to open their mouth to say "Friday Saturday SundACH". How did this happen? It's something I would listen to and laugh at but secretly stan. That being said it's not a good song in any respect so it deserves -1. Why did the song end with them saying "old people mAzElTab. (ZE:A are celebrating old people, what international icons)"

    A fellow plagiarism detector has been found in Squashua, except Mazeltov actually came out first… "Basically an overtly auto-tuned EDM-ified boyband version of Rebecca Black's Friday. That's really not a compliment (unless someone creates a mashup for the kiis). The outfits and sets are okay though I guess? I'm struggling to find positives I'm sorry, this is godawful." And to echo that sentiment, ryan_riot92 and Ceir couldn't find the words to express their admiration dissatisfaction by commenting "Yikes..." and "FLOP" respectively.

    Empty Shoebox tried to wrap their head around there being such an overpopulated group in the first decade of the 21st century (before EXO, there were very few groups with more than 7 members - and believe me Kwanghee tried): "There's a lot happening in this song, but I suppose that's to be expected when you have so many members."

    [​IMG] [​IMG]

    KPJ's icon of positivity Slice of Life, tried to stay optimistic "An autotune mess but also bop? I'm conflicted. This is something I'd dance to when I feel trashy so there's that."

    And I will end with Monkey0's trip down memory lane and I would like to mazeltov his intellectual prowess, as he linked ZE:A's best song (YATH, WE LOVE A BOP)
    " Children of Empire. Tragic. Jewelry’s younger brothers. I want y’all to remember them for this:

    Well purify your eyes a little, because these first 10 eliminations are going to be a drag...

    Last edited: Feb 10, 2018

  2. Sis aren't you meant to be an Australian unnie. I don't know any of them but I do know Kevin the Australian oppa.


    You just said that to get me to listen to the song again sis. Well you got me. There's no way they're saying Jump Up .
  3. I know every single one of them AND their sub-units AND collaborations.
  4. A deserving first out. Truly one of the worst right up there with the Girls Day debut.
    karmarisma and Squashua like this.
  5. I rarely give out sub-5s but this absolutely deserved a first out. Just the very epitome of the bad bad baaaad autotune-in-a-series-of-dark-dungeons trend.
  6. Two days ago after hearing part of this song out of the blue I told @BEST FICTION that it sounded like a bop.
    Me after seeing the score I gave it.


  7. Fuck I didn't think I would be the highest scorer. Expose my shit taste a bitsy @karmarisma.
  8. Dddd that part where they list the days of the week was so awful.

    There being so many of them too was just... a lot.
  9. That was the exact moment I went "Yikes..."
    karmarisma likes this.
  10. This might be a good time to say that 'Candy' by H.O.T. is one of the best things I've ever heard in my life, and I hope it doesn't flop because it's old!
  11. I've only posted one song so far! So feel free to score/give commentary even now because there's still 59 songs to go!
    Slice of Life and iheartpoptarts like this.
  12. I think I'll check out the songs as they get voted off, so feel free to go on without me!

    P.S. I like your rate. xx

    P.P.S. I'm actually bopping pretty hard to the first song out, so I assume this is gonna be good.
    Last edited: Feb 4, 2018
  14. God, wish I'd found this rate earlier! Haven't bothered with any K-pop debuts in almost 3 years, but maybe following along will convince me to try someone new.

    Awe I used to stan ZE:A, but totally forgot how much of a fuzzily mixed, auto-tune abomination their debut was. Still would've given it a 3 tho.
    karmarisma likes this.
  15. I'm so glad Face won.
  16. I think A.C.E and B.A.P could also deserve it but Face is still a bop and true kings NU'EST should win.
  17. *nervous laughter* I gave NU'EST like a 7 but I thought I was being generous.
    karmarisma and ThighHighs like this.
  18. @karmarisma unnie I'm not rushing you to post the next result because we all know there's going to be a bunch of garbage songs eliminated until the good debuts so I'm better off not hearing them. Just checking in to see if you're alright sis.
  19. I hope everything's going okay, sis @karmarisma and that if you need anything from any of us, just let us know, even if it's just to talk. Hope you're doing fine.

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