The Disney Classics Rate (The End.) | Page 115 | The Popjustice Forum

The Disney Classics Rate (The End.)

Discussion in 'Charts, rates etc' started by Animalia, Apr 10, 2017.

  1. I've never seen Alice in Wonderland or if I have I don't remember it, but I relate because I like bow hairbands too. Disney princesses are such hair goals, honestly.

    Meanwhile, I want out of the office now.
  2. I love Tangled so much.
    mi|kshake, aniraz and Animalia like this.
  3. When Will My Life Begin? is a brilliant little bop song.
    Lost Boy, LKane, aniraz and 1 other person like this.
  4. Fuck y'all.

  5. [​IMG]



    Cruella De Vil


    Highest Score: 10 x6 (@Mina, @Sideout, @2014, @Ironheade, @funkyg, @Lost Boy), 9.5 x2 (@Aester, @ephemeralartery)
    Lowest Score: 2 x1 (@Subwaykid), 4 x3 (@iheartpoptarts, @Mvnl, @Epic Chocolat)
    My Score: 7.5

    Say hello (and goodbye) to Popjustice’s bronze medallist in both the Golden Age Songs and Villain Songs contests. PETA will be furious. Cruella De Vil is one of the quintessential Disney villains, the other girls wish they were as classy, fashionable and hideously repugnant as our furry queen. No not Gardevoir fuck off. Cruella’s eponymous theme song is suitably smoky and sleazy, as well as being something of an anomaly in the Disney canon as it’s a villain song not actually performed by the villain herself, but by someone mocking her. Poor it. I’m sure she’s not too bothered though; she remains so iconic and love-to-hateable that she made the Top 30 in spite of a two-minute jazz piano instrumental interlude. That kinda nonsense would’ve sent any other character packing dozens of places ago. That’s where my less than generous score for the song originated from though – it’s completely wonderful in the context of the scene with Cruella’s contemptuous, hazy ramblings filling the void, but in all my years owning this song on compilation albums (which is… a lot), I doubt I’ve ever made it through the whole thing without feeling the need to skip forward to the point where something starts happening again. Someone oughta put a donk on this honky tonk. No wait please don’t post any bootleg trance remixes I was being phsecious.

    I find it equally amusing and suspicious that a few of you felt the need to assure everyone that you don’t support animal cruelty. DJHazey starts us off by saying “Lyrically, this song is iconic but Roger is not the songstress I needed to hear it from. Why couldn't Cruella have delivered her own theme song somehow? One of my favorite villains ever, despite being 1,000% against harming animals in any way. That's what made her evilness stand out so much for me.” alanmr finds the role reversal refreshingly effective: “Animal Cruelty: the Movie. I was expecting this to be the “I Am the Villain” song from every other Disney movie (see also: Mother Knows Best, Be Prepared, Poor Unfortunate Souls) but having Cruella’s wretchedness be sung by Roger actually makes it more fun? And foreboding? I don’t know, I just love it, even for a villain as on-the-nose as Cruel Devil.” Noted dog enthusiast iheartpoptarts raises up a placard in protest too: “I hate her.”, and send photo joins in the chant: “I fucking hate Cruella and all she stands for but she’s so iconic. Queen. I think I recall Selena covering this and it was awful.” dddd you’re not wrong on either account.

    You’ve gotta give her points for creativity though, killing puppies with your vocals is definitely a novel strategy. There’s a fair/disturbing(?) number of De Vil apologists in these here halls too though. “Cruella is EVERYTHING!” GimmeWork wails, adjusting the fox pelt draped around his neck, “Give me a chain smoking diva villain with expensive tastes and I’m on board any and every day!” 2014 takes a long drag from his expensive ivory cigarette holder before exhaling “So epic, Cruella is my fave villain and this is the perfect theme song for her.”, but thankfully eccentricsimply’s here as ever to raise the moral standards of the thread: “Such an iconic villain, too bad she wanted to kill PUPPIES.” THANK YOU. GhettoPrincess notes “I think the character is more iconic than the song itself but it’s good enough.”, while MollieSwift21 dubs it “One of the best villain songs.” Sprockrooster has a theory about why this did so well: “Everybody loves a hateful song about one of the most hated persons in Disney right?” Subwaykid doesn’t. Has anyone ever seen him & Cruella De Vil in the same room? Hmmm. kalonite isn’t about that jazz interlude life: “Almost perfect, just way too short. It doesn't feel it in the actual film, and obviously it became iconic, but the OST version's just so much instrumental to so little song.” LKane calls it “Another classic”, adding “Not one of my favourite movies but very interesting song.”, while Raichu asks for more: “Give me that charismatic tin pan alley bop.” and Mina just says “Amazing.”

    Finally, here’s constantino doing, as I’ve come to expect, The Absolute Most™: “Cruella is SICKENING and the girls can’t take lol. A true LGBT icon - single-handedly coining the term ‘I live for x’. The opulence, the glamour, the relatable disdain for dogs - she is everything.”

    Happy Pride y'all!


    funkyg, Serg., Epic Chocolat and 16 others like this.
  6. Man. Who doesn't love Cruella? If you want to know how to exploit the limitations of xerography, that is how you do it. An icon, honestly. Which is what I scored this on.

    Also, would we ever have villains in a kid's movie today whose plan is to skin 99 puppies? I love it.
    funkyg, DJHazey, Aester and 2 others like this.
  7. Mvnl

    Mvnl Staff Member

    I'm fine with Cruella. But this is that puppy owning guy singing a supposedly funny song about her, right?
    About time it went.
    Animalia likes this.
  8. eccentricsimply

    eccentricsimply Staff Member

    DJHazey, LKane, send photo and 3 others like this.
  9. I did not expect this song to stay this long, hence me dropping the Cruella avatar like a hot potato, but I'm glad it did, she's the definition of iconic.
    GimmeWork and Animalia like this.
  10. Mvnl

    Mvnl Staff Member

    We're not rating the person!!!
    stuaw, funkyg, alanmr and 2 others like this.
  11. I used to love Selena's version dddd
    alanmr and Animalia like this.
  12. [​IMG]

    Attached Files:

  13. You heathens.
    funkyg, GimmeWork and Animalia like this.
  14. I pretty much treat my dog like she's my child, but I still love "Cruella De Vil." I mean, it's a song about how awful she is... and it's damned catchy.
    funkyg, GimmeWork, alanmr and 4 others like this.
  15. If i'd voted, you'd probably have gotten this exact commentary from me, word for word.
    stuaw, GimmeWork, Animalia and 2 others like this.
  16. Cruella is so iconic. Absolute life goals.
  17. Which makes her the most evil of any Disney villain, therefore a great character.
    GimmeWork, Mina, alanmr and 1 other person like this.
  18. Good afternoon!

    Well, not for one person.


    Wait we've already eliminated Cruella. Oh well.

    You’ll Be In My Heart


    Highest Score: 10 x8 (@Mushroom, @Remorque, @Reboot, @ephemeralartery, @Epic Chocolat, @Sideout, @MamaHazey, @Animalia)
    Lowest Score: 3 x1 (@constantino), 4 x3 (@Aester, @DJHazey, @kalonite)
    My Score: 10

    Surprise! The highest rated song from Tarzan is the only one partially performed by a female. Never change, Popjustice. This ain’t no ordinary woman though – this is Glenn fucking Close. First Lady Marsha Dale haself. When will Melania?? I’m sad to see this go though, but pleasantly surprised to see it having done so well. I really feel this song has one of the most poignant, affecting melodies in the Disney songbook and probably deserved to land a wee bitsy closer to the Top 20, but poor Tarzan was never destined to reach those dizzy heights. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; I have very much acquired the taste needed to appreciate Phil Collins’ vocals over the years, but I do understand the hesitation in scoring this soundtrack when there are so much more charismatic (read: so much less old-white-man) songs immediately before it. The good sis Kala opens the song as a touching, whispery lullaby before Collins’ omnipotent echoes turn it into a lighters-in-the-air, girl-holding-her-phone-up-and-crying.gif moment of power balladry that will never fail to tug at your heartstrings if you possess even the vaguest trace of a soul. I’m looking at you, constantino.

    The longer, solo Phil Collins version of the song that plays over the closing credits of the film was the one released as a single (because of course it was), and probably stands to date as one of the most commercially successful Disney songs. It sat comfortably at #1 on the Billboard Adult Contemporary chart for nineteen weeks – the longest ever reign at the time – and peaked at #21 on the Hot 100 and #17 in the UK. It was a big hit with the critics too, and as usual for the Big Disney Song at the time, earned itself all the big award nominations; it ended up taking home the Academy Award and Golden Globe for Best Original Song, but lost the Grammy to Madonna’s “Beautiful Stranger” from whatever shitty Austin Powers nonsense was shovelled out that year. That song knocks though so get it Madge. Graceful as ever, the creators of South Park responded to losing the Oscar (they were in the running for “Blame Canada” @ohnostalgia @send photo) by parodying the song as “You’ll Be In Me” during the show. I respect you all too much to link to it.

    Oh wow you guys had a lot to say about this. Let’s start with Reboot. “THIS SONG BETTER NOT BE DONE WRONG.” Welp, does this suffice? DJHazey tries to justify doing it wrong by saying “Well at least it's more listenable than our last lullaby from Dumbo, which isn't saying much.”, while even-worse-scorer constantino explains: “This is tender and all but there is very little to latch doesn’t help how little I care about the plot, characters and the film in general. EDIT: It’s fucking Phil Collins.” I’m telling Jane Goodall you don’t care about the apes. Watch your back sis, she’s crazy. MollieSwift21 thinks it’s lacking a certain somethin’ somethin’: “An amazing song in general and my favorite from the movie but it's missing that special Disneyness.”, and it looks like Raichu agrees: “This is good, but it just sounds like a Phil Collins song. Doesn’t really have that much Tarzan atmosphere to it.” but they both scored it highly so I shan’t complain. LKane finds all the atmosphere he's looking for in it though: “I think this is the most representative song of the movie. It is a special moment and the song is a beautiful ballad.” Let them know. Oddly enough, Sprockrooster calls it “So sappy and bit overplayed?” … sis where? If Dutch radio regularly plays Disney songs I’m packing my bags tonight.

    alanmr describes the song as “The Jungle Book: The Sequel”, which is… pretty fair, actually, while eccentricsimply calls it “Such a cute little song.” and Mina continues her streak of one-word descriptors with a nonchalant “Pleasant.” Stan a bit! I finally find more members for my Phil Appreciation Society in GimmeWork: “Phil Collins pulls at my heartstrings EVERY TIME!” and 2014: “I may be in the minority here but I love Phil Collins' voice, and this is super cute.”, and Epic Chocolat pines for the Phil-heavier version of the song saying “This version is way too short.”. Meanwhile, Mushroom is having a crisis of confidence over their music taste: “Okay but why do I stan this soundtrack so much when this genre is something I’d ordinarily loathe? Like, this track completely sweeps me up in all its melodramatic glory and makes me want to go find my own Bubbles.” It’s okay, let it in. Embrace it. Finally, iheartpoptarts is having an emotional crisis of her own: “Why do so many of these Disney songs make me want to cry for no reason? Somebody hug me.” Same sis, same.


  19. ohnostalgia

    ohnostalgia Staff Member

    Mina, constantino, send photo and 5 others like this.
  20. Many Dutch radio channels and store playlists stan Phil Collins hard. Not necessarily Disney. So you might should not pack your bags already.
    DJHazey, iheartpoptarts and Animalia like this.
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