The Disney Classics Rate (The End.) | Page 134 | The Popjustice Forum

The Disney Classics Rate (The End.)

Discussion in 'Charts, rates etc' started by Animalia, Apr 10, 2017.

  1. Oh, of course the boilerplate ballad stays in and the two incredibly fun and fast-paced Robin Williams workouts leave... the disrespect to the Ashman legacy, I tells ya.
  2. MollieSwift21

    MollieSwift21 Staff Member

    Prince Ali was my lowest score left. Everything is over an 8 now.
    Animalia likes this.
  3. Unbelievable. Going before those insipid Hercules songs too?

    I must say that I've been singing "He's got seventy five golden camels" to myself more than any other lyric in this rate since turning in my votes. What an absolute tragedy.
    GimmeWork, Aester, Mina and 1 other person like this.
  4. Also I couldn't help but chuckle at this:

    kalonite, GimmeWork, Animalia and 6 others like this.
  5. I'm staring at my scoresheet and retrospectively confused about why I gave "A Whole New World" a 10 now. It's a 9 at best.
    Animalia and alanmr like this.
  6. Awwww, my poor Aladdin! I hope a ballad doesn't win.

    Not gonna lie, Will Smith as the Genie is just so 90s ridiculous that I'm actually here for it!
    Animalia, DJHazey and Mina like this.
  7. Noooo, there goes the other runner-up for my 11! I sing "Prince Ali" to myself more than any other Disney song. It is sooooo catchy and Robin Williams gives it such life. I can't even pick a favorite part (maybe "He's got the monkeys! Let's see the monkeys!"). Just love it all.
    stuaw, ohnostalgia, GimmeWork and 4 others like this.
  9. [​IMG]

    Also youtube changed their layout and now the Chrome extension that let me download videos to make gifs doesn't work hahahahahaha isn't life fantastic???
    stuaw, ohnostalgia, funkyg and 4 others like this.
  10. She is an only famous in the US morning show anchor that has been at it for 30yrs, that Robin Williams was mocking. She isn't worth really looking into herself.. but she's been heavily parodied! Here's one of my faves by Kristen Wigg from SNL:
  11. Before we lose any more princess songs... THIS!

  12. 2014

    2014 Staff Member

    This opinion is the real tragedy.
    stuaw, Animalia, constantino and 3 others like this.
  13. Don’t worry, I may have forsaken Scar-anne for my woodwind floral queen, but I’m still here!



    Peter Pan (1953)

    4 Points: @iheartpoptarts
    2 Points: @Mina
    1 Point: @Lost Boy

    Hey, Mina. Remember when you said I shouldn’t feel pressured to put as much effort into an elimination I’m not bothered by? Well, hiya. I’ve tried. I’ve really, really tried… but I just don’t like this film. I know I’m a fraud, a fake stan etc., but there are so many issues standing in the way of my enjoyment of the base concept that I honestly find it hard to sit through. As an emotional twenty-something whose life isn’t exactly where he dreamt it might be at this point, the idea of never growing up is one that definitely hits close to home; and being a somewhat stereotypical homosexual, a magical island in the sky populated by mermaids and pixies should surely be right up my street. But against all those odds, Peter Pan leaves me cold every single time. Today, I’m here to talk about why.


    Oh aye, we’re getting straight to the point. Peter Pan is only 77 minutes long, and a solid fifteen of those are an automatic write-off thanks to the violent, unapologetic racism on display. That’s not a great start. Yes, this film was made in 1953, things were different then – I get that. But if political happenings on both sides of the pond over the last few years have taught me one thing, it’s that historically institutionalised racism is still very much alive in older generations today, and it’s not something I’m about to forgive regardless. We talked about “What Made The Red Man Red?” when it was eliminated first with the lowest average of any song ever rated on the forum (I'm still so proud of y'all), but I only just realised when re-watching the film the other day that the bouncy, happy-go-lucky tune “Following The Leader” is literally about the Lost Boys following John to go hunt the “savage injuns” for fun in lieu of bears and lions??? That Mickey Mouse Club staple joyfully echoing throughout school playgrounds all around the world is literally about genocide. Disney ha impact, I guess.


    “But Animalia,” I hear you ask, “What about the other 72 minutes? Surely you can find something to enjoy in there!”. Well, maybe I could have if they hadn’t felt the need to make almost every single character in the film so deeply, incessantly annoying. Even ol’ Walt himself was unhappy with the finished product because Peter Pan was “cold and unlikeable”, but he was assured by J. M. Barrie experts (imagine that being your purpose in life) that the character was intentionally written as “a heartless sociopath” and should be kept that way. Alright, cool, I have nothing against difficult, atypical protagonists – hi, Emperor’s New Groove stan over here, nae worries. BUT WHY IS EVERYONE ELSE JUST AS FUCKING IRRITATING!? There's no relief. Why is Tinkerbell a stroppy, jealous toddler in an over-sexualised woman’s body? Why is Captain Hook a pathetic, bumbling excuse for a villain? Why is Wendy a whiny, petulant bore? Honestly the only characters in the film that I find vaguely tolerable are baby Michael (hey, I’m not a monster), the dog that gets left behind in the first ten minutes, and the mermaids whose sole motivation in the film is a desire to drown Wendy. Relatable queens.


    I know, I know. It’s a Disney film; it shouldn’t really inspire such spite and vitriol, right? But it’s not just a Disney film, is it? I have two words for you. Kingdom. Hearts. As if Peter Pan and its legacy hadn’t done enough damage to one generation, Square Enix had to go and make the Neverland world (which isn’t really in Neverland at all, just the pirate ship) honestly the most unnecessarily, frustratingly difficult one in their repertoire. The tiny, cramped corridors that were essentially incompatible with PS2 camera controls; the Shadow Sora battle in the cabin; the fucking AWFUL Captain Hook battle on the deck; the fucking STUPID mini-game juggling the Rare Truffles in the air; the nigh-on-impossible post-game superboss at Big Ben; the bloody annoying gimmick with the treasures only being available during specific hours so if you miss one you have to wait an entire 24 hours in-game before you can get it again; literally everything about is just terrible, and that irreversible trauma is no doubt partly responsible for my somewhat exaggerated bias against Peter Pan as a whole. Anyway, hopefully iheartpoptarts, Mina and Lost Boy (I just realised I always thought your username was a Troye Sivan reference but might actually be this? huh.) can let the light in a bit and point y’all towards the brighter side of the story. I do feel a bit bad about this given my “no negativity on this site thank u” mantra to date, but I’m sure you all would rather I was totally honest, right?

    Oh well, here’s a gif I took far too much time out of my life to make. Bye~


  14. Tell us how you really feel, @Animalia !

    Anyway, I remember reading J.M. Barrie's Peter Pan book as a kid and enjoying it; I was big into books in which kids were the main characters and went on adventures (basically, wish fulfillment/escapism). I feel like the book has to be better than the movie?

    Also, I love Christopher Walken for his "performance" as Captain Hook in the recent live action version:

    It looks like he took about 5 doses of Benadryl beforehand.
    ohnostalgia, Animalia and alanmr like this.
  15. To be honest, Peter Pan is the Walt-era Disney movie I forget exists the most (excluding package features, as normal). I liked it a lot as a kid, but it wore out on me as an adult. What do I think now? It's fine, it's fun. It's a good romp of an adventure story, if definitely "one for the kids", and the clean cartoonish animation keeps it bright and enjoyable, even if I do miss the wild exploratory look of Alice in Wonderland. But that's pretty much it.

    (PS. I've watched Song of the South. There is nothing in it as racist as the Indians in Peter Pan, not even remotely. I know it was a different time, and you can see worse stereotypes than that in films until well into the 60's, but... goddamnit, Disney.)
    Last edited: Aug 4, 2017
    GimmeWork, DJHazey and Animalia like this.
  16. Or a girl's! One thing that frustrated the heck out of me, even as a kid, was that Wendy was the "group mom" and stayed home doing chores while her brothers got to go on adventures.
    DJHazey, Animalia and Holly Something like this.
  17. Should probably have capitalized "Boy's Own" there (I'm talking stylistically), but yep, point taken. I quite like Wendy, though. She's got a decent arc to her, certainly a lot more personality than the contemporaneous princesses.
    Animalia and Mina like this.
  18. MollieSwift21

    MollieSwift21 Staff Member

    I didn't find the Neverland level that bad in Kingdom Hearts. Just stop sending me to Tron, Halloween Town, or Monstro please. I'm currently playing Kingdom Hearts 2.8 Dream Drop Distance for the first time now. Nothing was as bad as the card thing in Chain Memories.
    Animalia likes this.
  19. It's fun and they fly and when I was a kid it totally made me jump off furniture. I don't overthink these things!
    Mina, GimmeWork, DJHazey and 2 others like this.
  20. DDD get her, Jade!

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