The Disney Classics Rate (The End.) | Page 137 | The Popjustice Forum

The Disney Classics Rate (The End.)

Discussion in 'Charts, rates etc' started by Animalia, Apr 10, 2017.

  1. Hiya
    GimmeWork and 2014 like this.
  2. Don't mind me
    GimmeWork and 2014 like this.
  3. Just passing by
    GimmeWork, 2014 and Holly Something like this.

  4. Nope! I just couldn’t get the font to look how I wanted on the poster for it dddd

    It’s still not perfect but OH WELL



    Tangled (2010)

    2 Points: @Stradiwhovius, @Lost Boy
    1 Point: @Alouder98, @aniraz, @Robsolete

    WHAT A FILM. Like naw really, we probably wouldn’t even be here right now if it wasn’t for Tangled. Like most of the intelligent world, my relationship with Disney during the noughties was… tenuous at best. Other than the iconic duo of The Emperor’s New Groove and Lilo & Stitch, every other post-Renaissance Disney film I’d seen had ranged from incredibly patchy to shambolic disaster and I’d pretty much decided it was time to jump ship while my fond memories were still intact. Fast forward however many years it might’ve been (I didn’t go to fucking school for math .gif) and my friend invites me to go see Tangled with her in the cinema – the trailers I’d seen in passing hadn’t really done much to pique my interest, but I went along regardless, already resigned to thinking I’d leave thoroughly whelmed with the embers of my childhood obsession still barely smouldering at the back of my mind. Fast forward another few hours and there I was, leaving the cinema practically glowing with the biggest, goofiest smile plastered across my face and a desperate, burning question.

    Have I been wrong all these years?

    Have I been missing out on more incredible, gorgeous films like this thanks to my entirely justified petty enmity towards Dinosaur?


    Well, we all know the answer to that now BUT IT DOESN’T TAKE AWAY FROM TANGLED’S GREATNESS. I left the cinema that day entertained in the way that only a proper, fantastic Disney film can achieve. It has that nostalgic charm, that magic to it that the studio is famed for, but re-imagined in a way that feels completely at home in the modern world: it’s bright, colourful, cheerful, funny; it’s just exactly what Disney do best. And they bloody knew it, as well. Tangled started out in life as a kinda-sorta-sequel to Enchanted, in which Rapunzel was somehow turned into a squirrel and a live-action girl from the real world takes her place in the Disney universe, but after a quick chat with the production company’s finance department (probably), the director made a hasty U-turn into the much safer, commercially-viable land of classic fairytale princessdom. Only then, higher-ups started fearing the princess shtick would turn off the male audiences and lead to another box office disappointment after The Princess & The Frog suffered the same fate. So what did they do? Re-write the script? Redesign some characters? Nah. They just changed the name of the film from Rapunzel to the gender-neutral Tangled and flooded the trailers with all of Flynn’s scenes to make it look like a comedy-action film. Genius.


    A little corporate trickery never hurt anyone, right? But it didn’t matter. Whether they went in expecting a thrilling action-adventure or a kitschy princess flick, I’d wager very few people left disappointed ‘cause Tangled is basically the best of both worlds. Sure, at its core it has your typically “relatable” white female lead, custom-built to attract “LOL SO RELATABLE” photosets from *~pastel & pale~* millennial tumblr blogs; sure, they spun the Wheel of Stereotypical Cutesy Anthropomorphised Animal Sidekicks and when it landed bang in the middle of chameleon and horse they just ran with both anyway; sure, you do have to suspend logic a wee bitsy when it comes to both the magical and physical properties of Rapunzel’s hair (the ridiculous inconsistencies in its length have always bothered me ddd); but honestly who cares about all that when at the end of the day, it’s all done so well and the film is just so effortlessly entertaining? Rapunzel is an endearing, charismatic lead. Flynn is a charming, goofy player two. Pascal and Maximus are adorable. Mother Gothel is THAT FUCKING EVIL BINCH YAS QUEEN KILL ME WITH YOUR CALLOUS NONCHALANCE AND FROLLO-GOES-ON-BROADWAY ELEGANZA. Top Five Disney villains, teebs.


    mmmmmmm look at her only showing affection to the hair the shady c*w I love ha

    Look, Tangled doesn’t exactly rewrite the formula for a princess movie. It just kinda… smudges it with a damp cloth a wee bit. Not enough to dim the glimmer of classic Disney familiarity, but enough to allow it to break through as a successful, relevant film in a new era the studio hadn’t quite mastered yet. By playing to their well-established, time-honoured strengths, Tangled single-handedly restored my interest and love for Disney, and essentially resurrected the studio's 3D animation department from the pit of despair it had been languishing in since, well, since it was created. Tangled set the standard for all modern-day Disney films, and while it might have lost its crown over the last few years, it sure as hell hasn’t lost its magic.


    A movie is usually only as good as it's villain and Mother Gothel is serving that immortal Cher aesthetic alongside some deliciously evil parental abuse. Queen of narcissism and deceit. All things Flynn Rider, with his juvenile "cool" name and lowkey unconvincing skill, is a bit of a weakness but still.


    Last edited: Aug 23, 2017
    stuaw, funkyg, MollieSwift21 and 17 others like this.
  5. I fucking love Tangled.
  6. I would've given Tangled some points but it just missed my list.
    alanmr and Animalia like this.
  7. Tangled is fantastic, as is your write up.
  8. Tangled is iconic.
  9. Mvnl

    Mvnl Staff Member

    Even though it's not top 5 for me I loved how:
    1. they proved me wrong thinking Disney and 3d animation wouldn't go together (though I wish they'd still do 2d as well)
    2. they kinda incorporated the Pixar kind of humor that makes animation so much more enjoyable as a grown-up
    3. one of the greatest and sickest villains ever
    stuaw, funkyg, Lost Boy and 2 others like this.
  10. I've never seen Tangled, but this rate has really made me want to!
  11. MollieSwift21

    MollieSwift21 Staff Member

    Tangled was the first truly great Disney movie for me since Mulan. Lantern scene is gorgeous.
  12. Even if it's for nothing other than Mandy, do it.
  13. Mvnl

    Mvnl Staff Member

    Glad I'm not the only one who somehow lost interest from Tarzan on!
    Animalia likes this.
  14. As long as the Tangled songs lasted in the rate, I thought the movie would get farther than this....
    Animalia likes this.
  15. Just listened to the Moana soundtrack in full for the first time, genuinely feeling like You're Welcome should've made it much further.

    EDIT: I only gave it an 8? Oh dear, I'm so sorry Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson!
    Animalia and alanmr like this.
  16. Dedicated to @Animalia

    Just kidding take all the time you need.. but please finish it at some point because if it doesn't finish I might have a princess sized meltdown!
  17. haha yeah. what happened?
    Animalia and GimmeWork like this.
  18. [​IMG]

    Me crawling back in here begging for y’all’s forgiveness.

    Life keeps conspiring against this rate. Not to get too deep - this is a Disney thread after all - but I've just been struggling with a few things recently with mental health and my life plan kinda falling apart (remember that dream PhD application I mentioned forever ago? welp.) and it's all just meant I haven't been able to put the time and effort into this that I really want to. My apologies.




    ah shit.

    Hakuna Matata


    Highest Score: 10 x12 (@Reboot, @iheartpoptarts, @Mikl C, @Serg., @Sprockrooster, @DJHazey, @aniraz, @constantino, @2014, @Lost Boy, @MamaHazey, @Animalia)
    Lowest Score: 4 x1 (@Aester), 4.5 x1 (@Ironheade)
    My Score: 10

    Eh right so I’m all for democracy and majority-rules etc., but this Lion King cull continuing like this while The Little Mermaid STILL remains completely untouched is just… tew much. Name me a song that more innocently, enjoyably demonstrates the care-free, happy-go-lucky side of Disney that brought so much joy and laughter to kids all over the world. Under The Sea? Nawt with that racist-ass Blackfish you don’t. No. Hakuna Matata is the quintessential feel-good bop of the Renaissance; the spiritual successor of The Bare Necessities; the colourful, energetic epitome of the “yes things are a bit shit most of the time but hey ho that’s life whatcha gonna do might as well have a laugh along the way” mantra that I try to build my life upon. I mean, Timon & Pumbaa really did have the tea. As someone who involuntarily collapses into a shivering wreck of nerves at even the smallest of obstacles in everyday life, the idea of being able to just shrug it off and focus all my energy and emotion solely into the pursuit of simple pleasure (i.e. food) is an unobtainable paradise. Sticking on Hakuna Matata for a quick reminiscent bop while walking around in the sun is the closest I imagine I’ll ever get to this fabled nirvana, but goddamn if that’s not an immensely entertaining consolation prize. It’s just pure, childish FUN. This is a song so joyful, so catchy, so fantastic that I can even forgive the fact that one entire verse is just an extended fart joke. That’s quality.

    Hey why we’re talking about bottoms though, remember that time Attitude actually published an article saying they wished Timon & Pumbaa were their gay dads? did you know that Tim Rice found the inspiration for Hakuna Matata’s lyrics in the early-90s BBC sitcom "Bottom"? In fact at one point, he even wanted Rik Mayall and Adrian Edmondson to voice Timon & Pumbaa in the film. Let’s all just be thankful that songwriters don’t have that much influence on the final product – Nathan Lane and Ernie Sabella bring so much… uh, character to the characters, I can’t begin to imagine their unique brand of humour coming from goofy British accents. Remember when Timon & Pumbaa landed their own TV series using a new version of Hakuna Matata as the theme song? Remember when they and Hercules were the only Disney characters to give us a TV series that wasn’t a total load of shit? Icons only. Let’s see what our own gaggle of gay icons had to say about this bonafide classic, shall we?

    “Timon & Pumbaa for life!!1!!” screams 2014, as he laminates his stan card for the legendary duo and orders a whole heap of overpriced merchandise. Sidebar: my sister has a collection of Disney plushies that sit on a shelf in the spare bedroom and they’re all so BLOODY TERRIFYING I have trouble sleeping whenever I’m back home. Back on topic, DJHazey recognises the sheer star power of this jungle bop: “Definitely one of the most recognizable songs in the entire rate. The passionate singing moments from Pumbaa are still just as iconic and when Simba gets into it everything becomes perfect. I also didn't know that this was a real African phrase until I watched an episode of Amazing Race when the contestants were saying this to locals to mean ‘don't worry’ or ‘it's all good’.” Yep! It literally translates from Swahili as “no worries” – Reboot agrees that those are truly “Words to live by.”, and MollieSwift21 is feeling the positive energy too: “Truly a great motto. The awkward teenage years are good for a laugh too.” Um speak for yourself, my awkward teenage years were a giant garbage fire of anxiety and bad decisions that I’d rather forget. Simba did look hilarious for those few seconds though, lemme screengrab a frame:


    Whew, now that’s a glo up. Good ol’ Sprockrooster sees beyond the unfortunate puberty-ridden façade and gets his life though, describing Hakuna Matata as “Kubwa!!!”, which he explains is Swahili for “Fantastic!!!” and now part of me is tempted to run this entire write-up through Google Translate and post it in Swahili dddd but let’s not. Mina continues the trend in a more blasphemous manner, admitting she prefers the Book of Mormon parody which translates to “Fuck you, God!”. Relatable. eccentricsimply brings some more linguistic diversity to the table: “Once again rating the Portuguese version. It's just not as fun in a language that isn't your native one.”, but we can always trust constantino to return us to a more PJ-friendly dialect: “BREEZY, CAREFREE BOP! A TRUE CLASSIC.” You ain’t wrong! Now, I think Raichu’s going for a compliment when he says “Intentionally frivolous but it does that so well.”, and LKane’s a bit stingy with the positivity too: “A bit tired of listening to this one. But still a classic and very representative.” Damn right it is, so much so that iheartpoptarts finds haself totally helpless in the face of its ridiculous catchiness: “One of the Disney songs I’m most likely to just randomly start singing off the top of my head.” SAME. I feel like Timon is always there in the back of my mind, watching, waiting to strike when I least expect it. Shady binch.

    Finally, a special shout-out to send photo for managing to steal my opening joke for the post from beyond the grave (hope you’re doing okay bb <3) by merely saying “omatata”.


  19. Hakuna Matata is such an earworm and probably the most memorable song of my childhood.
  20. Noooooooooooooooooooooo!

    1. Hakuna Matata deserved better.
    2. @Animalia not feeling as amazing as he deserves to. Feel better, sis!
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