The Disney Classics Rate (The End.) | Page 140 | The Popjustice Forum

The Disney Classics Rate (The End.)

Discussion in 'Charts, rates etc' started by Animalia, Apr 10, 2017.

  1. At least he got his revenge with that terrible Alice In Wonderland remake!
    Mikl C, GimmeWork and Mina like this.
  2. Ah yes... the production tumults of 80's Disney movies are always fun to read about. The ones for The Fox and the Hound are particularly good, though, because it led to Don Bluth walking out and founding his own studio - and beating the Mouse at its own game for most of the decade, at that.
    stuaw, Animalia and Holly Something like this.
  3. DEAD at the tag on those gifs!

    No lie, those gifs just happened in front of my salad!!! HAHAHA! I'm catching up on this thread at my desk at work on my lunch.

    This write up was so worth the wait! Thanks for the cackles! I needed that!
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  4. Oh, yes you are.
  5. MollieSwift21

    MollieSwift21 Staff Member

    Ahh just noticing this now. One of my all time favorites. Never heard of people interpreting it that was before and it makes me sad because that's not message I ever got out of it. In the end I thought it always took an outlook of look at the pain society can inflict when it deems something wrong and tries to put stress/pressure to end it. In this story society won which just felt realistic and put as something not ideal.

    Tod is by far one of my favorite Disney character. Love his vibrant personality.

    Also you ain't right for those gifs @Animalia
  6. @Animalia

    Last edited: Sep 11, 2017
  7. [​IMG]



    Kiss The Girl


    Highest Score: 10 x17 (@Robsolete, @Lost Boy, @Daniel!, @eccentricsimply, @GhettoPrincess, @DJHazey, @aniraz, @Conan, @GimmeWork, @MollieSwift21, @Alouder98, @Serg., @HollyDunnSomething, @Mikl C, @Remorque, @Sideout, @MamaHazey)
    Lowest Score: 5 x3 (@iheartpoptarts, @ephemeralartery, @kalonite)
    My Score: 7

    Kiss The Girl? A song about - and named for - encouraging a man to kiss a woman he barely just met and insisting he doesn’t need to seek any kind of permission or approval before doing so? Fuck outta here with this straight nonsense doing so well. On MY Popjustice? I’m not angry, I’m just… disappointed. Like, am I the only person here who has an issue with the ideal being presented by this song? Let’s take a wee look at the second verse a sec:

    Yes, you want her
    Look at her, you know you do
    Possible she wants you too
    There is one way to ask her
    It don't take a word
    Not a single word
    Go on and kiss the girl

    The only possible way to gauge a woman’s interest in you is to suddenly kiss her? That ain’t cute Sebastian. That’s sexual harassment. Obviously there are extenuating circumstances in that Ariel literally can’t speak for herself, but you know what Eric? Tough. Don’t abuse that. Have a nice little romantic boat trip, part ways politely at the end of the night with an amicable handshake – maybe even a hug if you’re feeling frisky – and mull over all the what-ifs over a bottle of wine late at night like everyone else. I mean yeah, the audience knows that Ariel very much wants to get up in that gig and it’s obviously all meant in that stereotypical Hollywood will-they-won’t-they first-kiss-butterflies kinda way, but it’s always struck me as a bit gross.

    Regardless, I shan’t deny that I bop. It’s pretty much a textbook example of a fun, catchy, summery Disney bop accompanying a gorgeous, memorable scene, and that manic seagull wailing along tunelessly at the end is an icon, a legend. Me joining in for the final chorus of Come To Mama teas. Honestly, coming into this I would never have expected Kiss The Girl to come out as one of the top-tier Disney love songs considering the competition. That’ll teach me to underestimate Peter Andre’s impact on burgeoning preteen gays, I guess. For real though, eighty eliminations into the song rate and The Little Mermaid is only just now suffering its first casualty. Talent.

    Speaking of talent, here’s iheartpoptarts stanning it: “The random bird at the end is the best part!” Truth! eccentricsimply ups the stakes a bit, proudly declaring “This song is everything to me. A serious 11 contender.”, and Reboot takes it even further, dubbing Kiss The Girl “One of the better/less annoying ‘first date’/’falling in love’ songs of the bunch.” Oof, high praise indeed. “I like the way this just kind of gently sways along,” Raichu celebrates, “Pretty good melody too.” Sprockrooster continues the love-in, describing the song as “A summerbop!!” with two exclamation marks, so you know it’s serious. Meanwhile, DJHazey’s having a bit of an identity crisis: “This is going to come off as a Class A teen-pop crime, but this is miles better than Ashley's version. Ariel's reaction to ‘Mildred’ is priceless by the way. What really makes it pop off though are the backing vocals, starting with those damn ‘aye aye ayes’ which always give me goosebumps when I first hear them. I want to be in a moment like this (with a girl as pretty as Ariel #gingerobsession) because the atmosphere surrounding this moment becomes undeniably special until the boat flips over.” I feel like the ‘aye’s giving you goosebumps and your penchant for redheads should be a perfect opportunity for a Brave reference, but honestly I’ve never suffered from it and don’t plan on it, soz @Pixar.

    LKane won’t be ordering the crab special, thanks: “Am I the only one who dislikes Sebastian? I think he’s the reason why I’m not giving a better score on this song.” I can’t bring myself to form a strong opinion on him either way teebs, so I’ll let alanmr throw in a vote of support for the Jamaican crustacean’s dulcet tones: “Regardless of the many issues that I had with The Little Mermaid, I can’t deny that it has a pretty killer soundtrack, and even if I think the message behind it is problematic, I can’t take away the fact that Kiss the Girl is a pretty great song, especially with Sebastian forming an impromptu orchestra to deliver a breezy and, dare I say, quite sensual track to convince Prince Eric to just kiss Ariel already, goddamnit.” Sensual? Each to their own I guess! GhettoPrincess opts for a more family friendly adjective: “This is such a cute song and moment in the film.”, while MamaHazey is left dissatisfied by the cliff-hanger ending: “The only part I hate is how he doesn't get to kiss her at the end.” Don’t worry, they end up getting married like twenty minutes later. Disney. MollieSwift21 gives us a three-for-the-price-of-one on commentary: “Why does ‘that's kind of pretty’ always strike me as so shady. The animation when they go under the tree is beautiful. When you need a whole song to gain the courage...” The animation throughout the whole scene is gorgeous, to be fair. Looks like constantino’s stumbled upon the next big thing for pop music in 2018: “‘Sha la la la’ is such an iconic and underused hook, when will ‘oh oh oh’s reign of terror end?” Poker Face SNATCHED. Single Ladies SCALPED. Til The World Ends found DEAD. Finally, send photo sums it all up pretty nicely:

    *gently bops to the heteronormative nonsense*


    stuaw, ohnostalgia, Mikl C and 14 others like this.
  8. Well, this was probably best choice for the first song to cut from The Little Mermaid. Still... it's Howard Ashman, dude, he can do no wrong.

    Also, wouldn't disliking Sebastian make you want to order the crab special? [/woke]
  9. I've always thought of it as Sebastian trying to help Ariel so she's not stuck in that contract with Ursula, rather than him encouraging sexual harassment.
    stuaw and Animalia like this.
  10. Just @ me next time babes... @DJHazey
    stuaw, Serg., iheartpoptarts and 4 others like this.
  11. Yikes at this elimination. It should've been Under the Sea first from The Little Mermaid.
    Animalia likes this.
  12. Agreed! Oh well.
    DJHazey and Animalia like this.
  13. Part of me was worried you had Kiss the Girl as your 11, now I'm more confident than ever that we both have the same 11 again.


    As I side note, a Twitch.TV fav did a piano rendition of my 11 last night and I was in dreamland.
    Animalia likes this.
  14. So having grown up with The Little Mermaid and viewing it with a queer lens as I've mentioned before, a gay metaphor about chasing a taboo love at any cost and longing to be a part of a community that people didn't understand..etc...

    This type of read on Kiss The Girl went right over my head, but it totally makes sense and I see exactly where you're coming from. I never even thought about it like that but now it's like the car crash I can't look away from. It's not going to diminish my love for the song of course.. no, it would take an act from the gay heavens to make me question Howard Ashman, but it's definitely a valid take on it.

    But to gloss over that and fit the song into my queer interpretation I'm going to imagine it like this:

    Ariel and Eric are on their first date after finding each other on Grindr. The evil witch of an app charges them $9.99 per month for premium service so they can find each other.

    Ariel has only been out of the closet for a min so she is shy and just wants to get down to business and deal with the getting to know you parts later... even though Eric is interested in getting to know her name and her interests, she will only give him torso shots and dick pics.
    stuaw, Ironheade, Animalia and 4 others like this.
  15. Oh my god what kind of Buzzfeed 12 Disney Princes Reimagined As Gay Hunks-level imagination? I love it.
    stuaw, GimmeWork, Mikl C and 5 others like this.
  16. I guessed that Kiss The Girl would be the first to go from Mermaid.
  17. Hey lovely people! I've had a hell of a week again; my sister's moving to the other side of the country tomorrow so I've been spending time back home and helping her clear out 20+ years of our collective crap. I'll be back home on Wednesday - this will be coming back, and it'll be coming back right. I promise.

    Thanks again for your patience. xx
    alanmr, Robsolete, GimmeWork and 10 others like this.
  18. Great, but more importantly~ I need a full report on Skin & Earth in that thread immediately.
    Animalia and Mina like this.
  19. RIGHT.



    Once again, thank you all for being so patient and understanding over the past few months. Life has been doing its best to put me down recently and I just haven’t been in the right frame of mind to do this properly, but I’m making some changes that’ll hopefully help me move forward and do better from here on out, and that starts now. So, without further ado:

    Here’s me waving goodbye to my anxiety and low self-esteem.


    Here’s me frolicking in my new-found confidence and emotional stability.


    And here’s me inevitably crashing again in a few months’ time.




    Pocahontas (1995)

    3 Points: @LKane, @Mina
    2 Points: @Lost In Japan.
    1 Point: @Conan

    Oof, we come back with a bang – looks like the Renaissance might not be quite as untouchable in the film rate! Pocahontas marks the era’s first loss since we kicked out Tarzan and The Rescuers Down Under (does that even count?) with a savage *Eurovision voice* null-points in the bubbling under chart. This elimination might come as a shock to some, but I think the reason for such a beautiful, classic film falling so soon is pretty clear. Pocahontas’ portrayal of Native American culture is very… me trying to help out in the kitchen at my sister’s leaving party and just over-salting the caramel and making jelly shots that were unanimously condemned for tasting like dust. It tries so hard, and has only the purest of intentions at heart, but in some ways… it kinda just ends up making things worse. I mean, let’s not downplay the importance of Disney’s willingness to shine their spotlight on cultures that are otherwise underrepresented in popular media, but the line between accuracy and stereotype is a fine one, and Pocahontas unfortunately treads it pretty haphazardly. The spiritual connection to nature and the earth is, of course, important in Native culture, but the heavy-handedness in Disney’s portrayal of that relationship veers dangerously close to caricature at some points, and their insistence on throwing the word “savages” around so carelessly doesn’t exactly do ‘em any favours, either.

    Add to that some whitewashed re-writing of colonial history and you’ve got yourself a goldmine of poor choices. The main issue with Pocahontas as a film about race relations is that it completely erases the history of race relations. Obviously, all the grisly details of oppression and genocide were never gonna pass veto for a kids’ film, but essentially what this film does is reduce the entire conflict to the misinformed greed of one man chopping down some trees, absolving all other white people of any blame in the process. Governor Ratcliffe is The Bad Guy™, but everyone else? Oh they were just following orders and were only a wee musical number with a pretty girl away from a total change of heart. Pocahontas doesn’t tell the story of Pocahontas and her people at all; the real woman was only ten years old at the time of the English invasion and had no romantic relationship with a poster boy for Aryan superiority – in reality, she was kidnapped, brought back to England, married and paraded around as a tourist attraction after watching her people be mercilessly slaughtered at the hand of the white man. It’s not a nice story, but it’s a real one, and the aggressive Disneyfication of it with cute animal sidekicks and a forced romance is dangerously incorrect and a very real part of the problem itself.

    However, if you can bring yourself to look past those issues for an hour or so, there’s a lot to love about Pocahontas. For a start, it’s easily one of the most aesthetically outstanding films of the Renaissance; adopting a more mature, artistic animation style than Aladdin and The Lion King before it, there’s a realism in the characters and their expressions that contrasts really bloody nicely with the extravagant mysticism of the environments, and it houses some of the greatest visual sequences in Disney’s entire history (hang in there, Colours of the Wind). The film was destined to look good though, considering several top Disney animators jumped ship from The Lion King to work on it, believing Pocahontas to be the better, more prestigious film. Well, you can’t win ‘em all, eh? There’s a good dose of classic Disney magic in there too: the romance, while historically ignorant, is actually sort of believable in a Hollywood worlds-colliding kinda way; Percy, Flit and Meeko provide some typical light-hearted Disney animal comedy (fun fact: my sister & I coincidentally named one of our cats Meeko – to our eternal shame, he was actually named after the stray dog in Skyrim ddddd); and Pocahontas herself is a remarkably strong female protagonist. I mean, did any other so-called "princesses" earn themselves their own spread in Harper’s Bazaar modelling bespoke lewks from world-famous designers? Legends only.





    xoxo, Joanne

  20. The Pocahontas fashion spread is so cute. Everyone should do it.
    GimmeWork and Animalia like this.
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