The Disney Classics Rate (The End.) | Page 152 | The Popjustice Forum

The Disney Classics Rate (The End.)

Discussion in 'Charts, rates etc' started by Animalia, Apr 10, 2017.

  1. Me wondering if at the current rate there are enough remaining eliminations to make this rate officially turn 1yr old...

    Any excuse to go birthday gift shopping at the Disney store!
  2. [​IMG]

    That, and my sister was able to fly home early for Christmas at short notice so I've been enjoying some much-needed family time back home. I'll be working on the next elimination tonight though!​
    Rem, funkyg, constantino and 11 others like this.
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    Just kidding! I hope you're having a great Christmas break! Just giving you a hard time because you teased us.
    send photo, LKane, aniraz and 4 others like this.
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    I hope you all had a wonderful holiday period!

    'cause all that joy ends now.
    Rem, funkyg, send photo and 5 others like this.
  5. Wait, what? No, don't post it whatever it is!
    Animalia likes this.
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    Wreck-It Ralph (2012)

    5 Points: @Alouder98, @Animalia
    3 Points: @ohnostalgia
    2 Points: @2014, @alanmr, @kalonite

    Oh no. The thought of having to write this elimination has been haunting my every moment over the holidays. Every family get-together; every over-indulgent meal; every piece of trash TV; all plagued by the fear of knowing I can’t possibly do this film justice in one little post on the Popjustice forum. However, one of my new year’s resolutions is to stop putting so much pressure on myself to meet certain self-imposed standards in life and (more importantly) to stop running away when I feel like I’m not achieving them. So, I’m here. I’m back. I’m downing coffee waiting for the last of the holiday fatigue to let me live, and I’m ready to do my best to explain why Wreck-It Ralph isn’t just my favourite Disney film, but probably my favourite film of all time.


    I fucking love video games. They were an incredibly important part of my childhood – an escape, I guess. Not to get too tragic-coming-of-age-TV-drama during what should be the most wonderful time of the year, but basically: my dad passed away when I was three, and my mum (despite being the strongest person I know) struggled with health issues for a long time after that, so my siblings and I were often forced to look after ourselves. There was always a sort of dark cloud over us, a pressure to be independent and mature when we wanted to be anything but. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t resent my childhood – I was happier and healthier than most in the world – but it would have been a whole lot darker without video games. My brother and I would play shooters over a wired LAN connection and we’d both bribe my sister with sweets to go to the other room and relay information; when my sister and I weren’t watching Disney movies, we’d be playing their games like the the PS1 Hercules and Aladdin’s Maths Quest for PC; and when I wanted to be alone, I’d sit and play Final Fantasy IX in my room for hours. My copy was fucked – there was a scratch on the third disc so I could never get passed its opening cutscenes – but I didn’t care. Exploring another world, living another life, allowed me to forget the troubles of reality for a wee while, and that was priceless. So, fast forward a decade or so, Disney announce that they’re developing a film set in a video game universe. Animalia is fucking shook, y’all.

    There’s always a certain apprehension when I hear about a film or TV show tackling video games – the fear that it’s just studio execs wanting to get ~the youth~ back on-side and they’ll just shoe-horn in obvious references to having three lives, throw in a few jokes about abilities/power-ups and call it a day (hiya Jumanji 2017). The masses of potential in such a gimmick almost always go untapped. The video game episode of Community was great. The Final Fantasy episode of The Amazing World of Gumball was amazing. But Wreck-It Ralph is the only time I’ve felt that the concept was properly carried through to the absolute greatness it demands, and that success is down to one thing – passion. It’s crystal clear that the people responsible for Wreck-It Ralph were totally invested in, and massively in love with, the idea of a Disney film about video games. The attention to detail in this film is just obscene: the entire environment in the Fix-It Felix world is rendered in low-res, pixelated blocks; the characters (sans Ralph) only perform simple movements in two axes; the animation is super-simplified to the point where the staff have said it was the most difficult project they’ve ever worked on as they had to willfully ignore everything they’ve ever been taught about modern animation to achieve the real, convincing atmosphere of a retro arcade game. Everything in Hero’s Duty is dark, cluttered, and composed of harsh triangles to create a feeling of imposing chaos and danger. The entire kingdom of Sugar Rush was physically built in real life using actual candy to give the artists as much source material to work with as possible to make sure the audience want to eat the fuck out of every conceivable object and surface. What I’m trying to say is that every single design aspect of Wreck-It Ralph is as genius in concept as it is immaculate in execution.




    And that consistent quality isn’t just limited to the design. Wreck-It Ralph is sorta like the evolution of Toy Story, I guess? The modern equivalent of the toys-coming-to-life-when-the-child-leaves fantasy. Those are some big ol’ shoes to fill, but goddamn if Disney didn’t do everything in their power to pack every scene with an incredible depth of storytelling and world-building. I’d be here for a week if I tried to list all the niche references and cameos in this movie, so lemme just cherry-pick a few of my favourites.

    [​IMG] [​IMG]

    Ralph finding a Super Mushroom and Metal Gear Solid exclamation point (complete with sound effect) in a lost & found box.


    King Candy pushing UP-UP-DOWN-DOWN-LEFT-RIGHT-LEFT-RIGHT-B-A on a NES controller to access his secret area.


    And of course, this blink-and-you’ll-miss-it Final Fantasy reference. Iconic.

    But what Wreck-It Ralph really is, beneath all the gimmicks, cameos and world-hopping, is a film about love. Of course, the same could be said for pretty much every Disney film, but what makes this one special is that it’s a film about self-love. The plot is obviously very focused on the friendship between Ralph and Vanellope, but its very much portrayed in a “if you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?” sorta fashion. Ralph and Vanellope are both characters whose entire lives have seen them belittled and bullied at every step, they’ve been ostracised and made to feel so worthless in everything they do that all they can do is continue living, alone, clinging on to the faintest glimmer of hope that one day, things might change. It’s a film about realising and embracing your imperfections. You feel like you wreck everything you touch? Someone out there needs you. You might dematerialize mid-sentence at any point? That’s a fucking superpower sis, own it. There are some things you just can’t change, and the only way we’ll get out of this life with any kind of happiness is if we learn to love ourselves despite our own perceived shortcomings, and to allow others to love us in return.

    Wreck-It Ralph is my favourite film of all time.

    I think in 2018, I should try and learn a thing or two from it.

    I’m bad, and that’s good.

    I will never be good, and that’s not bad.

    There’s no one I’d rather be than me.

  7. People always tell me I need to see this movie. Now I get why!
    DJHazey and Animalia like this.
  8. OMG, what a write-up!

    I'm sorry it didn't make my top 5 films (it was very close!) but there are films that have been with me for so long that I had to choose them. I'm in the mood to watch it now!
    GimmeWork and Animalia like this.
  9. 2014

    2014 Staff Member

    Wreck It Ralph is an all-round revelation.
  10. I've never seen it

    send photo and Animalia like this.
  11. That write-up has me like..
  12. No but really, I must have seen Wreck-It Ralph at least a dozen times by now, and it never fails to make me cry on three separate occasions every damn time. (Spoilers ahoy.)

    1. That fucking scene when Ralph fucking smashes the fucking car and my heart shatters into a thousand pieces at the same time.


    2. Ralph reciting the bad guy affirmation while falling into the volcano.


    3. "Because if that little kid likes me, how bad can I be?"


    ALSO if anyone doubted how absurdly hilarious it is, I present to you one of the greatest jokes in Disney history:

    heavymetalGAGA, Rem, alanmr and 13 others like this.

    Two eliminations in as many days!? New year, new me, y'all!

    It's the first half of our final tie in the rate...




    Be Our Guest


    Highest Score: 10 x16 (@Ironheade, @Sprockrooster, @Daniel!, @GimmeWork, @MollieSwift21, @aniraz, @send photo, @Reboot, @LKane, @iheartpoptarts, @Mikl C, @Sideout, @Remorque, @MamaHazey, @kalonite, @Animalia)
    Lowest Score: 4 x1 (@Epic Chocolat), 6 x1 (@Mina)
    My Score: 10

    Lumiere gets the lower billing of the tie for lack of 11s, poor it. There was no shortage of high scores for the fiery Frenchman though; non-stop 10s from early voters had me thinking this would be a serious contender for the crown for a while, but as time passed his flame dimmed, and the top five became but a distant dream. Still, Be Our Guest has to be one of the biggest, campest, most unashamedly Broadway songs to come out of the House of Mouse, non? It has everything: the spoken-word cold open; the fast-paced list of random items; the melodramatic slow verse; the thunderous Vegas chorus-line climax; there’s so much going on, yet it somehow works perfectly as a whole. Talent. It’s easily one of the most iconic, colourful, ridiculously extra spectaculars in Disney history, which begs the question – how did they manage to fuck it up so badly in the live-action remake? Where the original is vibrant and dynamic, the remake is dull and lethargic. Where Jerry Orbach and Angela Lansbury captivate audiences with flamboyant, charismatic performances, Ewan McGregor and Emma Thompson sigh their way through soulless recitals. The original explodes on to the screen with unrivalled splendour and innovative computer-generated animation, while the remake lurches along with some dodgy CGI in muted, lifeless shades of grey and beige. And let’s not forget just how utterly fucking terrifying they made Mrs Potts:



    Apols for the negativity, but I didn’t know it was possible to feel both physically disgusted and bored to tears at the same time until having that scene half-heartedly dropped in front of me in the cinema. Moving on, here’s a fun fact: Alan Menken wrote the melody to this song as a simple dummy prototype, meant only to help Ashman write lyrics for it, but then he couldn't think of anything that fit better so ended up going with it anyway. Me starting write-ups in the hope that I’ll come up with a hilarious gimmick half-way through teas. Seems like it turned out alright in the end though, as Be Our Guest earned both Golden Globe and Academy Award nominations for Best Original Song – although it lost both to Beauty & The Beast’s title track. So, poor Lumiere is forced to live in Mrs Potts’ shadow once again in this rate, but could Belle be the dark horse that finally ends her reign of porcelain terror? Find out… soon.

    Let’s open with some gushing compliments from Raichu: “There’s not much wrong with this, but it’s not as fun as it should be. Goes on a bit too long.” Okay but enough about this rate. Someone reassure me. “This never gets old.” says Reboot, who hasn’t liked a post in this thread in months. YOULIED.gif. Thankfully 2014’s here to take the heat off me with another tale of his theatrical herstory: “I was part of a Disney parade when I was little as part of winning a competition, and we performed to this and the main thing I had to do was carry all these food items to put on a table, and they were SO HEAVY that the struggle was real, but again Disney just know how to do fun.” Oh yeah? Well I won a competition in primary school and got a supermarket lorry named after me for five years, so who’s the real winner here? No one answer that. Meanwhile, GimmeWork leaves me questioning ha diet: “It's not just for the rhyme... The grey stuff IS delicious!” Are you in prison eating gruel for every meal? The Stockholm Syndrome is real. Our next course of commentary comes courtesy of MollieSwift21: “So joyful! Lumiere is such a great character. I like Ewan's verison too which I think is a little unpopular.” Oop. Back me up, LKane!: “How not to give a 10 on this song!? The whole orchestra and melody is brilliant! I was expecting something as good as this with Ewan McGregor but no… this one is way better.” iheartpoptarts throws a third iconic version into the ring: “I always get this mixed up with the Simpsons version in my head.”

    “GRIZZLY BEAR UNDERWEAR” screams send photo, either also thinking of Mr Burns or just listing his kinks. Or both, no judgement here. Mina linked a video too, but not one I’m about to embed publicly in my thread: “Honest Trailers did it better.” It’s just not realistic. Bringing us back to the song at hand is DJHazey: “Kind of falls into the same category as ‘Under The Sea’ for me as in that I enjoyed this a lot more when I was younger. One of the best opportunities for rate title though, it gets a 10+ there.” The good ol’ days, huh? They weren’t all good though, eh constantino? “The Mad Hatter, your edges are officially snatched.” Be Our Guest ranks a whole 80 places higher than The Unbirthday Song. The Mad Hatter found rotting. Phew, I’m positively stuffed, but I always have room for one more sweet treat from Sprockrooster: “I just cannot how good this has hold up too! Another case in which I love the Dutch version more, because it is the one I got accustomed to. Hearing queen Angela on this too makes up a lot for the English version.” Not you stanning Ms. Lansbury so vehemently this whole time when she isn’t even in the version you know best. What kind of international impact? Sing us out with another iconic culinary bop, Mushroom! “Bon Appetit, bebe.”




    Rem, Serg., alanmr and 21 others like this.
  14. nooope

    Holly Something and Animalia like this.
  15. OMG HAHAHA!! First of all your write up and that Katy Perry gif is perfect! That gif is only 2nd to your Jungle book katy/taylor swish swish gif!!

    The grey stuff is on the desert menu at the "Be Our Guest" Restaurant in Disney World. Here's how it's described on the menu:

    The "Grey Stuff"
    Chocolate Shell, Cookie Crème topped with Lumiere’s special “Grey Stuff”
  16. 2014

    2014 Staff Member

    I'm surprised it got this far.......
  17. I never think I like "Be Our Guest" that much until I start listening to it, and then I'm won over every time. It really is an old-fashioned showstopper.
    Holly Something and Animalia like this.
  18. I really need to go back to Disney World.
  19. That sounds amazing.

    That sounds... suspicious.

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