The Disney Classics Rate (The End.) | Page 164 | The Popjustice Forum

The Disney Classics Rate (The End.)

Discussion in 'Charts, rates etc' started by Animalia, Apr 10, 2017.

  1. Team X-Tina!!
     
    Animalia, send photo and Mina like this.
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    (I hate you, @Animalia.)
     
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    Hello.


    The write-ups are done. The gifs are made. Our final songs' fates are sealed.


    But, let's kick off the festivities with a wee look back at some of the highs and lows of the rate.


    Because god knows we've had our share of both, and because I forgot I haven't finished one of the final leaderboard graphics kii.

     
  4. First up, one of our greatest triumphs!


    We got off to a great start by swiftly and justly knee-capping Disney's historic racism within the first three eliminations.


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    Well done everyone involved.


    Except @Lost Boy, who "accidentally" gave What Made the Red Man Red? an 8.5

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    Last edited: Feb 2, 2018
  5. to be fair I was naive and 13 since this started 12 years ago.
     
  6. Those good vibes didn't last long though.


    As is apparently tradition on Popjustice, things went to shit.


    Fast.




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    Bette Midler as a pampered-to-hell, posh-as-fuck poodle serving up the campest showtune this side of Broadway was practically made for Popjustice, yet y'all kicked her to the curb at #74.


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    ... I'm still seething about this. Hands down the greatest villain theme ever written, with one of the darkest, most intense scenes ever animated to boot. And y'all banished it to #48 'cause it's not a bop or whatever I dunno fuck you.


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    Gone too soon at #14. Gone, but never forgotten. </3


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    ddddd you're not wrong
     
  8. This has truly been the rate of a generation.
     
  9. Now, before we get this roast a cookin', I have one special award I'd like to give out.



    To the author of my favourite piece of commentary in the whole rate.



    Please, stand up and take a bow.




    @send photo



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    “Goldie Hawn’s actually got a pretty great voice, is this her only singing role?”


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    sgfdjfdgejgekfghreblfhrwf


    You have no idea how often I still think about this and I will always love/hate you for it.


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  10. Phew, that was one way to get to a new page!






    Let's. Fucking. GO.





    Colours of the Wind vs. Reflection




    Pocahontas vs. Mulan




    Vanessa Williams vs. Christina Aguilera




    There can only be one winner.























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    Reflection

    9.29

    Highest Score: 11 x2 (@Mina, @send photo), 10 x22 (@Robsolete, @DJHazey, @aniraz, @HollyDunnSomething, @Mikl C, @Sideout, @Serg., @Reboot, @ephemeralartery, @MollieSwift21, @Alouder98, @eccentricsimply, @funkyg, @2014, @iheartpoptarts, @Conan, @Lost In Japan., @Mvnl, @Lost Boy, @Remorque, @MamaHazey, @Animalia)
    Lowest Score: 6 x3 (@Ironheade, @alanmr, @Subwaykid)
    My Score: 10


    Oh, Mulan. Always the kick-ass, army-destroying, country-saving, stereotype-smashing bridesmaid; never the bride. Of course, since my 11 isn’t listed above, y’all can probably figure out where it landed and so I can’t pretend to be mad about this final result, but I am endlessly happy that it came down to these two songs. When I decided to run this rate all those centuries ago, I assumed we’d have a crowd-pleasing but safe winner in something like A Whole New World or Part of Your World, but this finale… this is exactly what it should be for a voting group who love not just Disney music, but music in general. Reflection is the greatest Disney "I Want" song, hands down. Despite its relatively short run time, Lea Salonga packs more of an emotional punch into the song than most of our faves could ever hope to. Don't tell me you can listen to this without closing your eyes and grasping desperately at thin air on multiple occasions because I'll call you such a fucking LIAR, Camille.


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    Poor Mina’s crystal ball has been malfunctioning for months now, as she’s been predicting Reflection would be the next song to fall since the Top 40. On one hand, I can see the logic – this forum doesn’t have the best track record with ballads or shorter songs in rates, and this definitely fits both bills. But I think she forgot one thing; one defining factor of Reflection that is no doubt responsible for its runaway success here. This song, this two-minute wee ditty from a Disney film, launched the career of beloved Popjustice punching bag and renowned Oreo ambassador Christina Aguilera. 16 years old and a proud alumnus of The Mickey Mouse Club, Our Lady X recorded a demo of Whitney Houston’s “Run To You” to send to Disney, to show that she could hit the big note they needed for a pop version of Reflection to promote the film with. Talent won, and she landed the gig. The commercial success of the single earned her a record contract with RCA, basically funded her entire first album, and started a thread in the tapestry of fate that would one day lead to the greatest experimental album in popular history, surpassing time itself.


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    “Well at least we have this flawless ballad to remind us of the artist formerly known as Christina Aguilera!” ddddddd didn’t they tell you that GimmeWork was a savage? Thankfully Sprockrooster shows some more respect for our cookies & cream queen: “Okay this one benefits heavily from Legendtina's version, I do know.”, and iheartpoptarts offers thanks to the ancestors for delivering unto her a teen pop icon: “I’m pretty sure we got Christina Aguilera’s pop princess career thanks to this song, so everybody celebrate.” Yas let’s! GhettoPrincess can serve the drinks: “Lovely but I remember every girl singing it in the talent show for years afterwards so it’s kinda lost some of it’s beauty thanks to that.” That Xtina reign just won’t let up! Unfortunately, our celebration is cut short to mourn the sudden passing of our very own DJHazey: “Consider me shook, because I honestly didn't know this came from this movie. I just know I've heard it somewhere. "Whoooo is that girl I see?" = R.I.P. me. Such a masterpiece of heavenly vocals and rich melodies. It's one of those times where you wish the Disney song wasn't as short as it was; we needed all of that to be doubled/tripled up.” Well, have I got news for you! The full song was cut down in the final film, but the audio & storyboards were released separately for youtube fan accounts to awkwardly piece together like so:





    Size doesn’t matter for constantino though: “Despite its length, this is still highly impactful and serves its purpose as the ‘something bad has just happened to me, I feel like shit and now I’m gonna sing about it’ moment.” That first part’s giving me bad Grindr profile teas. 2014 describes the song as “Over the top ballad goodness, there’s nothing quite like it.”, while Reboot might feel Mulan’s pain a bitsy too much, just shouting “SAME.” In a moment of Gemma Collins psychic .gif whatever, LKane managed to predict this finale nine months ago: “This is a classic. In any version this is like Colors of the Wind, a perfect track! Plus, Lea Salonga doing the voice of Mulan… what a great voice she has!” Ooky spooky. Raichu recognises greatness, but even that isn’t enough to melt his icy heart: “A melodically flawless and deeply emotionally affecting Disney ballad. The only reason it’s not a 10 is that it doesn’t resonate with me as much as my other 10s do.” MollieSwift21 gets all up in ha feels though: “Such a poignant and touching moment in the movie. Especially towards the end when she takes off the make up.”, and eccentricsimply falls for the same moment, despite questioning its realism: “Another 11 contender. It's just such a beautiful moment in the movie, especially when she cleans half of her face - in a very non realistic way, must I add, please give me your makeup remover Mulan.”


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    It falls to the wonderful Mina and send photo to deliver the final eulogies for Mulan and Reflection. I have the utmost faith that they will do so with the respect and decorum befitting such a solemn occasion.


    Mina:

    I love it when timeless icon Lea Salonga plays a Disney princess. I like her better as Mulan than as Jasmine. Suck it, Elsa!


    send photo:

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    ... wow.


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    Last edited: Feb 2, 2018
  11. constantino, aniraz, Serg. and 4 others like this.
  12. WHICH MEANS...















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    Colours of the Wind

    9.48

    Highest Score: 11 x4 (@Robsolete, @2014, @Serg., @Animalia), 10 x27 (@Mushroom, @Daniel!, @ohnostalgia, @eccentricsimply, @funkyg, @aniraz, @Conan, @Epic Chocolat, @Mikl C, @Weslicious, @Lost In Japan., @Sideout, @Mvnl, @Lost Boy, @Remorque, @constantino, @Mina, @Raichu, @HollyDunnSomething, @Alouder98, @MollieSwift21, @DJHazey, @LKane, @send photo, @ephemeralartery, @Reboot, @MamaHazey)
    Lowest Score: 3 x1 (@iheartpoptarts ???), 6 x1 (@Ironheade)
    My Score: ~11~


    On May 18th last year, we came together as the voice of our generation and unanimously voted What Made the Red Man Red? from Peter Pan to be the worst Disney song in the studio’s 80-year-long history; we condemned its violent, unapologetically racist attitude towards Native Americans with one of the lowest averages ever in the forum’s archives. Today, almost nine months later, we crown Colours of the Wind – a song celebrating that same culture – as their absolute greatest. In a world where minorities are being questioned and oppressed on a daily basis, where the hatred and bigotry of our elders is apparently allowed to run free with little repercussion, this is a ray of hope. I know, “it’s not that deep”, etc., but to see even a small subsection of our generation so conclusively and emphatically deny that evil and champion its antithesis, even in the context of Disney songs – that, my friends, is Popjustice.


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    So, obviously, I’m rather happy that this is our winner. My 11 actually won, which I think has only happened twice before with 1D and The Jeppo (JUSTICE FOR HYPERBALLAD). There ain’t no rigor morris up in here though – this was always my 11, I stomached kalonite’s 8.5 at the start of the voting, and Pocahontas ended up winning with a solid 7.5-point lead anyway so YAS. Sometimes talent does just honestly win. Truth be told, despite some of my comments early in the rate, I really love pretty much all Disney music – with a few obvious exceptions, every song in this rate brings me some measure of enjoyment and happiness, whether it be because they’re genuinely great songs, or just because the childhood nostalgia of the film seeps through. I love it all, but Colours of the Wind, I think, is on a whole other level; it transcends just being a Disney song, in terms of both intent and delivery.


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    Where you might expect Disney to dance around a difficult topic such as racism with subtle, fairly innocuous comments from the mouths of cute talking animals, Colours of the Wind proudly wears its message on its sleeve, clear as day. It explicitly places blame on the white colonists who believe they own whatever land they land on, painting them as nothing but ignorant and prejudiced. I mean, yes, the rest of the film low-key ruins this set-up and erases a lot of important history for the sake of romance and family-friendliness, but in the context of this song alone, it’s an incredibly powerful message delivered in an impressively succinct and transparent manner for what it is essentially a kids’ film. That sincerity is blissfully evident in the music itself, too – Colours of the Wind sounds like no other Disney song. It’s bigger, bolder, more serious, more grandiose; luscious and soothing at its humblest, and a majestic, overwhelming celebration of orchestral glory at its pinnacle. The sweeping strings, the glittering synths, the triumphant horns, the imposing bells, those crashing symbols into the last chorus; and at their heart, Judy Kuhn’s incredible, soulful vocals UGH.


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    Well, you guys have listened to me ramble on semi-aimlessly for like 170 pages now, and the lovely things y'all had to say about Colours of the Wind deserve not to end up lost in another wall of text, so lemme adopt a different style for this final run of commentary and give you all the spotlight that both you and this song deserve.


    MamaHazey: Wonderful vocals and melodies, but the lyrics mean the most to me. I've been interested in Native American culture and history my whole life. The connection between nature and the people is beautifully described here.

    DJHazey: Incredible vocals meet important message and the result is everything you'd expect it to be. From "youuuu doooon't knoooow" it's all yaaaaaas. Educate them queen. I'd love to see anybody get away with taking a bear cub from its mother (let's go realism!), but Pocahontas was in the moment let her have it!

    Reboot: Beautiful song with a message that’s still relevant today. And I’m jealous of Pocahontas still being able to look so majestic on a windy day. Life goals.

    Sprockrooster: Very theatrical, I love it.

    send photo: This is my most played Disney song thanks to the Vanessa version. Yas. Scream at that bear scene, literally Brother Bear in 10 seconds. When will A Whole New World have that kind of foreshadowing? Never.







    MollieSwift21: One of my contenders for 11. This is the only song that I prefer the pop song version over the Disney one but both are excellent. Vanessa voice just beautiful on it. "How high does the sycamore grow if you cut it down then you'll never know" is one of my favorite lines too.

    iheartpoptarts: They made us learn to sing this in elementary school. [Editor’s note: I can’t even begrudge your low score if this is your reasoning, I can’t stand the Mary Poppins soundtrack for the same reason dddd]

    GimmeWork: How high does the sycamore grow? If you cut it down, you'll never know! Disney going green before it was fashionable! Maybe this message got upstaged by Fern Gully but that's not even Disney so.. meh!

    Mushroom: Woke BOP. When will Chained to the Rhythm?

    alanmr: What a triumphant “git woke!” masterpiece, especially paired with those stunning visuals.



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    eccentricsimply: DRAG HIM POCAHONTAS

    LKane: Such a classic. I have listened to many covers of this song but every version is still good, and that’s not normal for a song, right? And the message is important. That’s what I love about Disney movies, they always have a good message, not just a story for fun or be entertained.

    Epic Chocolat: One of me all-time favorite Disney tunes.

    constantino: This is an extremely visual and, yes, colourful song and so has always been a favourite of mine. Moments have been had to this stunning piece.

    Raichu: Absolutely mesmerizing. This was a contender for my 11, but I ultimately chose something else. The melody here is hair-raising, and the lyrics are incredible, a perfect mix of poetry and message.

    2014: I had a lot of potential 11s but I think this one could do with it the most, it's a phenomenal song that really gives me the feels, and though Pocahontas is far from my favourite Disney film, this song is unbeatable, I hope it does well.



    I dunno @2014, I’d say it did alright.



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  13. It's an honor sharing an 11 with you, @send photo.

    And I'm so pleased with a silver medal.
     
  14. This winning is so full circle as @Animalia mentioned with our first loss. Amazing. We all did that!

    But most of all @Animalia did that. Starting with the iconic gifs to draw in voters you know this rate was going to be special. And it was. More than that thanks to our lovely host. Also very amazing despite very strong nostalgic feelings (probably the most on PJ ever) we never turned it into something ugly, like stan wars. Yes some era's underperformed, but that was neither unexpected or hard to understand. With older movies it can easily lack the nostalgic feelings (the same I had with the newer ones). This was not a rate. This was an appreciation.

    And yes at Vanessa Williams winning a rate. Amazing.
     
  15. Thank you so much @Animalia. A thoroughly entertaining, nostalgic, feel-good rate. Never spiteful or down-looking. Thank you for the amazing write-ups and graphics. I'm in awe.
     
  16. A well-deserved winner. Although I feel like I lose some gay points for never knowing Vanessa Williams did a pop cover (I guess I learned things I never knew I never knew). Demi Lovato hew?!

    I rarely "use" the pop versions of Disney songs, anyway.

    Great rate, @Animalia.
     
  17. 2014

    2014 Staff Member

    My #1 film and song both getting #1??


    Talent.


    Thank you so much @Animalia, this whole rate has become more than incredible. Thank you!
     
  18. With all the work you put into this @Animalia, you deserve to have your 11 win in the end. My Mom will be very happy about both Lion King and Colours of the Wind when I tell her later this evening. Thank you for everything @Animalia, it's been a fun ride. Your graphics are some of the best I've seen to the put where I've tapped your shoulder for a little assistance with some upcoming projects. xx
     
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