The Disney Classics Rate (The End.) | Page 51 | The Popjustice Forum

The Disney Classics Rate (The End.)

Discussion in 'Charts, rates etc' started by Animalia, Apr 10, 2017.










  1. You know I can't resist an Yzma gif.










    But not quite.







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    Fixer Upper

    5.39

    Highest Score: 10 x1 (@MamaHazey), 9 x1 (@constantino)
    Lowest Score: 0 x2 (@Mina, @send photo)
    My Score: 3.5


    I hate wasps. I hate mushrooms. I hate people who take up a whole table on the train with their shopping bags. I hate Alexis Michelle. But I do not hate any of things even nearly as much as I hate. these. fucking. trolls. They completely and utterly halt the momentum of Frozen, destroying all the good will it builds up with its relatively mature storytelling and complex characterisation, and for what? Three minutes of crass, childish humour and faux-gospel-meets-Broadway nonsense? No ma’am. This is a song that was deliberately designed to be funny. That’s a fact. It’s also a fact that the one and only part of it that’s even remotely funny is the split second of silence before the switch from “he’s a bit of fixer-upper” to “she’s a bit of a fixer-upper”, and even then that’s probably just the relief of not having to listen to those fucking boulders caterwauling for a brief moment. Every other line is either an embarrassingly immature joke about bestiality (???), literal toilet humour, or a chorus of irritating children wailing the word LOVE in a hundred different ways at once. Remind me again why I didn’t give this a zero?

    Honestly I think I’m just especially salty ‘cause Frozen’s soundtrack was written by Kristen-Anderson Lopez and Robert Lopez, the latter of which wrote Avenue Q which is infamously hilarious and which has a musical style remarkably similar in parts to that of Fixer Upper. It just feels like in the dilution of said humour to fit a kids’ movie, it lost all of its intelligence and creativity, essentially becoming a parody of itself, but not one self-aware enough to go full-circle into becoming funny again. I’m not angry, I’m just disappointed.

    I mean, when even noted Frozen evangelist alanmr is distancing himself from a track, you know it’s bad news: *mumbling* *grunting* *unintelligible gibberish* LITTLE BIT OF LOVE! Yeah, no.” Literally what you just wrote would have made for a better song. Sprockrooster brings up a good point by noting that he’s “Bored. Very bored right now.” – how does such a high-energy, high-camp moment of Broadway extravagance manage to be so terminally dull? It’s really quite an achievement. LKane gets it: “No, no no… Can’t stand it. It is the song that I’ve listened the least from ‘Frozen’ but it is so annoying in general.”, and Raichu agrees that it’s far, far beyond saving: “This song is not compelling enough to be a fixer upper.” I should probably throw in something vaguely positive, so here’s MollieSwift21 picking up on the one good part of this mess: “Ha not the rocks being so quick to not care she was engaged.”

    DJHazey plays the dangerous game of dragging his mother’s faves, but honestly that’s a risk worth taking here: “Uhhhh *uncomfortably backs away slowly* I don’t know if this is a favourite for anyone, but it’s dismal at best.” You’re safe here, sis. Mina simply asks the question that’s on everyone’s mind – “WTF?”, iheartpoptarts clearly feels bad for Kristoff who had to witness this cacophony in person: “This poor guy…”, and kalonite isn’t letting it off lightly either: “I was totally in love with Frozen that first time I saw it in the cinema, before it became… well, Frozen. It was all going so well. Then… this. I genuinely don’t know what they were thinking. It’s spectacularly bad, but then it feels even worse because the rest is so good.” GET HER. constantino… well, I’ll be sending round a collection bucket to raise funds for his rehabilitation. Please give generously: “DDD the library is open and Bulda came to READ. An underrated song from an underrated scene.” … Let’s circle back to Mina to close us out appropriately from there.


    WHAT THE FUCK


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  2. YES. Only two zeroes to go!
     
    alanmr and Animalia like this.
  3. Mvnl

    Mvnl Moderator

    It's pretty much A Guy Like You 2.0 isn't it?
    The token funny/fantasy song (although we already had Olaf doing that here).
    Definitely a lowpoint in the movie but in hindsight still a fairly catchy memorable sequence and song which can't be said for a few songs still in.
     
  4. I will say this: the song ending with the impromptu wedding is a great sight gag, most likely because of the "song ending" part.
     
    kalonite, Mvnl and Animalia like this.
  5. Actually I think "A Guy Like You" is way better... but yeah, it can break the essence of the complete film.
     
    Animalia likes this.
  6. Mvnl

    Mvnl Moderator

    I also kinda like the 'so what he's a bit of a mess'-part that's kinda focussing on things Anna wasn't even worried about before the song started.
    I kinda like the Crazy Exgirlfriend-ish 'we're all broken inside' message.
    Actually the main issue might be it taking you out of the snow, thus magic, for a second.
    But as far as plot detours go: walk in the park compared to some of the wandering oldies.
     
    Animalia likes this.
  7. When I had to watch that scene I thought I'd stumbled upon a post movie Frozen-Trolls crossover. But that was actually in Frozen??? Eaux.
     
    send photo, Animalia and Mina like this.
  8. Mvnl

    Mvnl Moderator

    I prefer A Guy (and its movie) too, but it's a similarly themed 'silly feelgood interlude'.
    I don't even think the song's that much worse, it's just that in Hunchback it had more of a function on lifting Quasi's spirit.
    Here the only function is shouting at the audience 'can you see the romantic potential here???'
     
    alanmr, LKane and Animalia like this.
  9. Mvnl

    Mvnl Moderator

    And it was pre-Trolls.
     
    ohnostalgia likes this.
  10. Yeah, they're similar in that way. Plus-- in both movies, they are just silly singing rocks. Of course, Victor, Hugo and Laverne are waaaay more charismatic and less annoying.
     
    Animalia, Mvnl and Mina like this.
  11. Mvnl

    Mvnl Moderator

    Mostly it helps they've been around the whole movie. If we'd seen Kristoff hang out with the trolls this might have worked a lot better!
    'When she wants you-la-la...'
     
    Animalia and LKane like this.
  12. I just revisited my grades and, having done Frozen weeks before the rest, I realized I was way too charitable with In Summer. @Animalia, is there any way we can cut it down to the 3 it deserves?

    I gave it a 7, god knows what mindset I was in when I rated it.
     
    Animalia likes this.

  13. Don't worry, I think my low scores across the Frozen songs will have you covered.
     
    Animalia, alanmr and send photo like this.
  14. I don't think this is as comforting as purported, since I gave Frozen three 10s.
     
    GimmeWork and Animalia like this.
  15. Oh dear....my remaining Frozen scores, from low to high, are 1, 3, 4, 5, and 7. I liked the movie overall (though find it very overrated) - I just hate the music from it.
     
    Animalia and alanmr like this.
  16. I guess I'll just build a snowman all by myself, then. Hmph.
     
    Animalia, aniraz and Mina like this.
  17. Oh no, my Mom was already pissed off when I texted her the first ten eliminations. Oh dear.
     
    Animalia, Mvnl, aniraz and 2 others like this.
  18. Oh my god this rate is TOO GOOD
     
  19. Well, I can agree with this. Just one more example on how Frozen can't seem to settle on a consistent tone, I guess.
     
    WhenTheSunGoesDown and Animalia like this.
  20. Sorry sis, no can do!






















    But don't worry, it didn't help it.




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    In Summer

    5.39

    Highest Score: 10 x2 (@GimmeWork, @MamaHazey)
    Lowest Score: 0 x2 (@Daniel!, @send photo)
    My Score: 7.5


    Welp, it’s a bad weekend for Frozen. @Daniel! gets his broccoli and @MamaHazey loses yet another 10 as we say goodbye au revoir fuck off to the little snowman that couldn’t. Poor Olaf is your run-of-the-mill slaptick-prop-meets-sidekick, complete with endearing ignorance and routine dismemberment, and honestly I quite enjoy him? Sue me. He didn’t deserve to end up tying with those bloody trolls. The more mature, dark humour here works so much better within the film and it was something fairly new and interesting for Disney I think; it’s almost Sausage Party-esque, but, y’know… not a total fucking embarrassment in every conceivable way. For my sins, I went to see Frozen four times in the cinema, and I can hand on heart say that this was one of the scenes I looked forward to every time. Having said that, I don’t think I’ve watched Frozen in full or deliberately sought out this song once in the three and half years between then and now and at the end of the day, it’s a relatively short comedy number that relies pretty heavily on the visual gags accompanying it, so I’m not too surprised or sad to see it go despite my high score. The cuddle/puddle fake-out remains iconic though.

    Funnily enough, Josh Gad (who does a pretty great job as Olaf, by the way) argued that In Summer isn’t actually morbid at all, but instead is “full of youthful optimism”, since our wee snowman pal is essentially the age Elsa and Anna were when they first made him, so the character’s naivety is meant to represent the long lost joy and wonder of their childhood. I mean, I’d say a song about their childhood hopes and dreams happily and repeatedly dying right in front of them was even more morbid, but okay.

    You guys gave Olaf a rather… cold reception. I’m not proud of that. “Isn’t summer supposed to be exciting?” asks Raichu. NOT FOR A SNOWMAN. Sprockrooster harshly dubs it “Not funny.”, while GhettoPrincess: “Delete it, melt it.” and Daniel!: “DELETE OLAF” offer me wishes I’m happy to fulfil. You’re welcome. constantino barks “Olaf and his overbite can do one, sorry.” and now I’m even more confused that you don’t like this, but find the trolls hilarious? Get taste. Speaking of Fixer Upper, Reboot asks “Why does this snowman have a death wish?” and honestly I would too if I was Olaf and knew what my near future held. “What a disappointing way to come down from the heights of Let It Go.” DJHazey complains, but how much longer will Elsa manage to hang on in the face of such infamy and public backlash, hmmmm? LKane, for one, struggles between fond associations and Frozen’s oversaturation: “Ok, so this song reminds me of my nephews, it is always a fun song to play with. But again, it is part of Frozen and I’m just blocked.”

    eccentricsimply tries to throw Olaf a lifeline with an 8, explaining “I have a toy Olaf and it sings, so I have a tiny amount of love for this”, and GimmeWork takes it up a few notches with their 10: “I mean simultaneously hilarious and heartbreaking! Love you Olaf!”, but it wasn’t quite enough to save the poor guy. “When sidekicks get humor like this it never works for me.” MollieSwift21 admits, and Mina’s very much on the same page: “Why, oh why, does there always have to be a cutesy improbably talking sidekick with their own sidekick song in practically every Disney movie? Tossing this one a few points because of Josh Gad.” As an apology for not being able to change alanmr’s score, he can have the final word: “Olaf’s blissful ignorance of how transitioning between states of matter works is endearing (and the puddle is an amazing sight gag), but this song is pretty bad. I think he works best when used sparingly, and giving him his own musical number (while practically a requirement) doesn’t mean it would be successful. And it isn’t, at least to these ears.”


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    Last edited: Feb 21, 2018
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