The Disney Classics Rate (The End.) | Page 56 | The Popjustice Forum

The Disney Classics Rate (The End.)

Discussion in 'Charts, rates etc' started by Animalia, Apr 10, 2017.

  1. Y'all are heartless bastards.
    Serg. and Ironheade like this.
  2. I think I could feel the years being taken off my life by having to sit through that song. I must have thrown it some points for eventually ending the pain.
    GimmeWork, Animalia, Mina and 2 others like this.
  3. Oh... poor Dumbo.. :(
    Animalia likes this.
  4. I don't understand?
    Animalia likes this.
  5. Also yo @Animalia , a quick visit to Wikipedia confirms that hippos can sleep underwater. (They surface for air without waking up.) I had to check, it was bothering me too.

    Predictions for the next one... can we get "On My Way" out already? It's basically just like the Phil Collins songs from Tarzan, but not nearly as catchy and with even more glib lyrics. Plus, the montage is lazy. Don't need to actually show Kenai and Koda becoming like brothers when you can just have a bunch of shots of them laughing!
    alanmr and Animalia like this.
  6. Hey guys. I have a friend visiting today so I had wanted to throw one out before she arrived, but after last night I'm just not really in the mood, so we'll solider on a bit later than planned if that's okay.

    We have another tie up next, and all I'll say is that one half of it is a mess.
  7. Just as I was before we lost numbers from Frozen, Princess and the Frog and all of Dumbo and Alice... I'm ready for Brother Bear and most of Oliver & Co to GTFO next!

    Animalia likes this.
  8. Take your time! I don't know what to expect next.. Hopefully some Oliver or Peter Pan will go.
    GimmeWork and Animalia like this.
  9. Thank you all for being patient, much love x



    Whistle While You Work


    Highest Score: 9 x1 (@ephemeralartery), 8 x4 (@GimmeWork, @Sprockrooster, @Serg., @constantino)
    Lowest Score: 2 x1 (@Subwaykid)
    My Score: 3

    Our magical tour bus takes us all the way back to the beginning now, as we say farewell to the earliest song from the earliest film in the rate. Technically I think “I’m Wishing” and “With A Smile And A Song” come first, but Snow White was one of the films I assumed people (including myself) wouldn’t wanna sit through the entire soundtrack for so for the purposes of the rate, this is Patient Zero. Honestly I expected its age, the shrill whistling, Adriana Caselotti’s… unique… vocal style and the fact that it was first on the list to create some kind of perfect storm of hate seeing it crash out in the bottom five, but ‘twould seem nostalgia wins the day yet again. Well, as much as something sitting at #78 can be winning, anyway. Because, despite those issues, there’s no denying that this is one of the Golden Age’s most iconic songs; the animated musical was an entirely new concept in 1937, so seeing a princess cleaning someone else’s house with the help of a cheery song and some adorable slave labour must’ve made a hefty impact. But seriously, I like to think of myself as fairly pure of heart – how come when I’m cleaning the flat, wailing along to Born This Way at the top of my lungs with the windows wide open, the scraggly, disease-riddled wildlife of Edinburgh city centre don’t offer to help? Ungrateful bastards. I just hope Snow White had her rabies jab.

    Of all the stupidly iconic songs in this rate, Whistle While You Work has somehow become one of the most heavily referenced and parodied: it’s seen covers from legends like Diana Ross and Louis Armstrong (the latter of which was used in Samsung adverts); the melody is whistled at the end of The Smiths’ “How Soon Is Now?”; there have been two recent pop songs loosely based on the title but I looked them up and honestly I love you guys enough not to subject you to them; and closer to home, the “Happy Working Song” from Enchanted was intended as a tribute to this timeless classic. Also, uh, the internet tells me that there were two popular playground joke versions back in the day that went like this...

    Hitler is a jerk, Mussolini is a weenie.

    Right, cool, fine, okay.

    Mussolini bit his weenie, now it doesn’t squirt.

    … well thank god you guys had a lot to say about this one.

    “Iconic!” GimmeWork proclaims, “In fact, I’m whistling while I score this rate! #Impact” My impact, indeed. eccentricsimply wasn’t quite captured by the nostalgia though: “I feel the need to give every song a high score for sentimental value but whoever voiced Snow White has the most annoying voice in the world, so it ain’t happening.”, and both Mushroom: “Snow White was no vocalist, was she? Great gowns, beautiful gowns.” (where?) and Mina agree: “Has Snow White always been so shrill, or did I accidentally watch a Youtube version that was pitch-altered to pass the DMCA screen?” dddd get her. The anti-Caselotti crew gets some backup from GhettoPrincess: “I mean it’s not the most enticing of songs is it? The vocals are also a choice but it’s cute enough for background noise.” and Raichu, too: “The melody is undeniably catchy, but I think this is sort of annoying.”

    Oh look, another opportunity for gays to complain about their whistling shortcomings. constantino has hygiene concerns: “As someone who cannot whistle I felt very attacked whenever I watched this as a kid. It’s still that productivity bop, though. I wonder if the good sis sang this when she was cleaning up the assortment of animal shite her ‘helpers’ left after the video shoot...” Gross. 2014 feels victimised too: “I still resent this a bit because I can't for the life of me whistle, but sometimes I hum this while at work #Disneyimpact”, and DJHazey shares that confession: “I’d be lying if I said I’ve never actually sung/whistled this while working at least once in my life, but there really isn’t a lot to the song beyond the main lines we all know is there?” Eek, don’t let iheartpoptarts hear you! “Please don’t, I hate it when people in my office do that.” I feel ya, whistling is high-key infuriating.

    Sprockrooster thinks “This makes cleaning so much fun!”, but MollieSwift21 is just left disappointed: “And from that moment on, I expected animals would be a lot more helpful in the cleaning process.” We should all band together and sue Disney for false advertising teebs, force ‘em to pay for cleaning services. LKane tries to be nice, but can’t help but throw in some last-minute shade: “This song used to be my fave of snow white when I was a kid, but things definitely change when you grow up. But still it feels as a very special melody, with the very unique touch of Walt Disney. I think the best parts of the song are when she’s not singing any lyrics, just humming haha.” Oop. send photo gets last word this time for no reason other than just making me cackle: “There’s countless health code violations happening here. They’re kind of shit about the cleaning too. Pretty sure half those animals don’t even have lips to whistle? Check your privilege, cyst.”

    Snow White, the OG Kim Woodburn.


  10. I kinda hate that song. Especially cos I can't whistle.
    Animalia, aniraz and Mina like this.
  11. @Sprockrooster But probably not THIS much fun right?

    constantino, Mvnl, Robsolete and 6 others like this.
  12. [​IMG]
  13. wow, I didn't expected this to be out that soon. Also didn't expected to see some people offended by the girl trying to motivate them to whistle hehe.
    GimmeWork and Animalia like this.
  14. In fact @iheartpoptarts's hate for whistling applies to any pop song that has it too. I'm not going to pull up every rate ever to prove it, but trust me she does.
  15. OK, I might have scored it a bit too high. But, y'know... Golden Age Effect, iconic, etc.
    GimmeWork, Animalia and DJHazey like this.
  16. Oh, that was still in?

    Now gimme that promised problematic cut that I love/hate.
    GimmeWork and Animalia like this.
  17. Kim Woodburn as Snow White would be iconic.

    ''Whistle while you work... but your backs into it you chicken livered bunch. Don't start with me luvvies.''
  18. Wait, what!? Even this one?

    Dogs were barking at the new moon, whistling a new tune hoping it would come soon...

    That must be a sin.
    send photo, Animalia and DJHazey like this.
  19. I don't really want to expose her much (because she's on vacation and can't speak for herself) but I don't even think she's much of a fan of hers at all. Oops.
    Animalia and LKane like this.
  20. Fine.

    Here you go, you heathens.


    A Guy Like You


    Highest Score: 10 x1 (@kalonite)
    Lowest Score: 0 x1 (@Sideout), 1 x1 (@Daniel!)
    My Score: 9.5

    Okay but


    There are a fair few results in the rate that I disagree with – that’s cool, that’s always gonna happen. But this… this I just can’t comprehend. This high-camp moment of hilarity dropping in out of nowhere right at the terrible, violent climax of the plot, tying with Snow fucking White at #78??? Victor, Hugo and Laverne are ICONS and y’all just can’t take. I mean, fourteen of you gave this a score of 5 or lower. HOW YOU GONNA DO THAT TO A SONG THAT OPENS WITH

    Paris, the city of lovers is glowing this evening

    True, that’s because it’s on fire

    But still, there L’amoooururuurruuurrrrr

    AND THEN GOES ON TO RHYME ADONIS WITH CROISSANT-IS??? Honestly get taste. Literally every single line of this song is expertly crafted and delivered with incredible tone and humour. And then on top of that, to realise that the gargoyles don’t actually exist and they’re just a figment of Quasimodo’s imagination custom-built to comfort and encourage him since he doesn’t have the belief or self-worth to do it himself, or any real friends to help him??? And even though he created them to support him, he literally can’t help but imagine them mocking his appearance ‘cause that’s all he’s ever known??? OH AND the double meaning of “I know the guy she just might be burning for” when Esmeralda is literally about to be burned at the stake!? It’s perfect Disney storytelling; light-hearted and funny on the surface, complex, mature and devastating underneath. And you’ve all given it an average of 5.60. Bye.

    Let's go through the whole catalogue of reasons why you’re all TERRIBLE. MollieSwift21? “Meh. Not much to this.” WRONG, it’s a multi-layered masterpiece of dark comedy. Sprockrooster? “Okay, this is truly missing the point. Getting 'Be Our Guest' vibes, but it falls flat completely.” FAKE NEWS, I assume you mean it misses the point RE: Quasimodo’s delusion that Esmeralda might be in love with him, and that is exactly the point. constantino? “FINALLY, something light and fun in this absolute slog of a soundtrack.” HALF-WRONG, this is light and fun but Hunchback’s soundtrack ranges from great to life-changingly incredible. DJHazey? “Honestly, whatever.” HONESTLY WHATEVER YOURSELF. iheartpoptarts? “He’s got such nice friends. Okay, I feel better now.” NO BUT THEY’RE NOT EVEN REAL AND IT’S SO MUCH WORSE. Daniel!? “One Last Hope did this better.” FUC—actually, wait, no. I’ll allow it. send photo calls it “a pretty giffable number”, which is also true to be fair, and eccentricsimply just says “Adorable”, which I guess it is on some level, so you guys stay amazing. LKane admits “Don’t know what to say about this one… it’s catchy.” Hmmmm. You get a pass this time, but I’ll be keeping an eye on you. Raichu confuses me by starting with “Lady And The Tramp realness.”, but went on to say “This song is good enough, but it doesn’t stack up favourably to the others from this movie.” so I can’t really be too mad about that one either.

    Thankfully, the one person I have to actually associate with in real life has it right. Tell ‘em, kalonite: “This is probably the high water-mark for Disney puns, and the writing is just so damn clever. Imagine having the fucking NERVE to rhyme “We all have gaped at some Adonis” with “And since you're shaped, like a croissant is...”. The bleak, millennial humour of “Paris, the city of lovers is glowing this evening......sure, it's cause it's on fire, but still, there's l'amouuuuur”. Then you have Quasi's little gargoyle voices in his head building him up and daring to believe that Esmeralda might just love him too? Who hasn't been there? And then for it all to come crashing back down to the sad reality of stone and rags and impossibility when Frollo crashes the party. If you don't love this song, I don't trust you.”


    Last edited: May 24, 2017
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