The Disney Classics Rate (The End.) | Page 63 | The Popjustice Forum

The Disney Classics Rate (The End.)

Discussion in 'Charts, rates etc' started by Animalia, Apr 10, 2017.

  1. Mvnl

    Mvnl Staff Member

    But then Quasi also pines for Esmeralda. Aladdin basically picks wishes to impress a girl.
    If it wasn't for Nala Simba would still be eating bugs in the jungle with two unfunny sidekicks.
    It's not all 'women are weak and waiting for a man to change their lives'.

    As a message to society I can see the trouble with some of the early ones (although I believe the problem isn't just about women, but that most of (pop)culture in general is leading everyone to believe that love and relationships are the one and only way to a fulfilling life.)
    Growing up on Disney I'm a complete product of these messages though and as a result I hardly care for a Disney (or any) movie if there are no lovestory/songs involved.

    (Just realized there's an exception to that rule in my movie top 10)
    Last edited: May 26, 2017
    GimmeWork, funkyg and Ironheade like this.
  2. I_CANNOT_USE_REAL_WORDS_PROPERLY_ but wait at Google Play Music thinking these are the lyrics to Boy Problems:
    Sia is shook.

    Animalia likes this.


    Perfect Isn’t Easy


    Highest Score: 10 x1 (@ME YOU BASTARDS)
    Lowest Score: 2 x2 (@ohnostalgia, @LKane), 3 x3 (@HollyDunnSomething, @constantino, @Subwaykid)

    Okay, someone’s gonna have to explain this one to me. This is Popjustice. We spend our days discussing the minutia pop music, Eurovision and Drag Race. We revere and respect strong, fabulous women who have built hugely successful careers on the backs of men. We live steeped in shocking pink. We like dogs, probably. So why the FUCK is this song being done so wrong? You’ve got Bette fucking Midler serving you lewks for days while literally barking her way through an extravagant Barry Manilow-penned Broadway number about nothing other than how show-stoppingly amazing she is, and y’all see fit to cast it off into the bowels of the leaderboard alongside the likes of Someday My Prince Will Come and [REDACTED]? An absolute, unholy mess is what this is. Let me take you on a tour of all the iconic moments in this song, ‘kay?

    That’s right. The whole damn thing. Georgina did that. I don't even know what else I can say teebs. The growling, the snarling, the yapping, UNGH!, YEAH!, WE’RE NOT TALKIN’ LASSIE *dun dun dun dun dun dun* AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-AAAAAHHHHHHHH

    You get the point. I hate you all.

    We’re gonna start with the worst offenders, Sprockrooster: “I am bored and middle-8 gave it some life again. It all drained away again fast; all to be back again at the killer outro. But I ain't waiting everytime for it.” and LKane: “The only song that doesn’t have that 80s vibe. But this movie in general looks so cheap. #sorry” Now, those comments might not seem particularly offensive, but wait for it… they both scored Ms. Georgina the same as What Made The Red Man Red. What Made The Red Man Red. Bye. DJHazey loses points too: “I wish the song itself was more engaging because lyrically/thematically the “posh diva” angle really would’ve won me over.” How could this possibly be more engaging!? IT’S BETTE FREAKING MIDLER AS A SOCIALITE POODLE. At least Reboot gets it: “This lady is an inspiration.”, and Daniel! is, as usual, on the right side of history too, calling her “Relatable queen.” send photo isn’t quite repping that self-confidence though: “I don’t suffer from it. Hold the fuck up is that Bette Midler? MY QUEEN *inflates score*” You’re perfect to me, dear. <3

    ephemeralartery is having some fabulous flashbacks: “I forgot that I lived for this as a kid, but I definitely did. I don't remember any other parts of this movie dddd”, while MollieSwift21 takes a little further back in time: “A retro moment of gypsy whatever”, but here’s constantino to rain on our parade: “Another unpleasant reminder why I hate musical theatre...” I mean, I usually do too but this is still incredible. Get taste. “They do a lot of movies about posh animals and not-so-posh animals, don’t they?” asks iheartpoptarts – don’t fix what ain’t broke! “Shananay or whatever her name was from the horrible High School Musical should be jealous.”, Mina remarks, and honestly I’m offended that you would even mention Ashley Tisdale in the same breath, and why does she keep turning up? GO AWAY. Raichu sees the song as something of an anomaly in the film: “Feels like a bit too much of a throwback to that classic Disney sound after the pop sensibilities of the other songs from this film, but the melody is rather good. Has plenty of charisma.” Okay but Georgina is serving you charisma, uniqueness, nerve AND talent in spades. Sashay away. We’re ending with kalonite this time, who finally exhibits the taste and class I expect of this place: “This is a gem I didn't even know existed before the rate. Bette Middler KILLS IT, it's camp as heck, and the animation quirks are entertaining and funny.”


    Last edited: Feb 21, 2018
  4. ohnostalgia

    ohnostalgia Staff Member

    constantino and DJHazey like this.
  5. Oh WOW. Cutting that so soon is wrong on so many levels, it's the one song from the movie that should've outlasted half this rate and it gets kicked first, so, sure, way to go, y'all.
  6. Woops. At least I gave it five more points than I gave What Made The Red Man Red.

    Oh and @Animalia I'm currently working on a Ashley Tisdale playlist for you which I will keep sending no matter how many times it comes back with "Return to Sender" on it.
  7. Kind of amusing while it's on, I'll admit - probably could've given it another point. But I also can't remember much of it afterwards, so down the "meh" hole it goes! (At least Bette Midler was better cast than, say, Billy Joel.)
    GimmeWork, Animalia and ohnostalgia like this.
  8. It could be worse, we could repeatedly be harping on the unfair exclusion of Anastasia (the movie, not the pop singer) from the rate.

    We haven't gotten to that part (from me at least) yet.
    Animalia likes this.
  9. My sincerest apologies for only giving it a 9.5, @Animalia , and not the 10 it deserved. This is a goddamn travesty.
    GimmeWork, Animalia and alanmr like this.
  10. Yeah, I'm sure Don Bluth would have liked you to think it's Disney, buuuuuuut...

    ("In the Dark of the Night" is still a jam though. I wish the chorus line hadn't been made up of prancing pink bugs though... should've been some real freaky shit, the kind of demons that would make Heironymous Bosch wet himself! C'mon!)
    Animalia and Mina like this.
  11. Subwaykid

    Subwaykid Staff Member

    Oop, there we go.

    I didn't realize I have this such a low score ddd
    Animalia likes this.
  12. My first time seeing my name because of a low score.

    Don't tell anybody but I only know Bette Midler because of Hocus Pocus

    phily693, GimmeWork, DJHazey and 2 others like this.
  13. I know Bette Midler from her turn as fabulous stage mother Rose in the TV production of Gypsy - and coincidentally this song is how I feel about this rate about now:

  14. Sorry, I just don't like any of the music from this film. Although in hindsight this probably should have been scored slightly higher than the others.
    Animalia likes this.
  15. I'll get my revenge, just y'all wait.

    So, we'll be hitting our Top 70 today! Which three do we think will miss out?
  16. The rest of the Oliver soundtrack...
    alanmr likes this.
  17. Let's go:

    You Can Fly!
    He's A Tramp
  18. Hmmmmmmmm.

    send photo and DJHazey like this.
  19. From one music legend, to another.

    From one high-maintenance princess, to another.​


    Perfect World


    Highest Score: 10 x2 (@constantino, @Me again oop)
    Lowest Score: 0 x1 (@Mina), 1 x2 (@Sprockrooster, @Sideout)
    My Score: 10

    nn my bias is showing. I won’t lie, I only really gave this a 10 ‘cause my love for The Emperor’s New Groove transcends the boundaries of actual musical quality. It’s a damn bop and a half and the humour is so sharp and on point for the film, but mini Disco Stu was never gonna set our chart on fire – I blame y’all’s disgusting unfamiliarity with the film. Educate yourselves immediately. Really though, I think Perfect World’s downfall lay in it’s awakening of Popjustice’s innate misandry; you could all just sense, deep down, that not only are you dealing with Tom Jones’ shouting, but also the songwriting talents of the one and only, your fave and mine, Sting. Yeah, I wish I didn’t know that either. On the bright side, The Emperor’s New Groove started out in life as a classic Disney musical titled The Kingdom of the Sun complete with a full-length Sting soundtrack, but a whole host of problems and delays in the production meant it was eventually canned for a non-musical comedy and Perfect World was the only song that was kept. Well, other than My Funny Friend And Me. But I don’t like to talk about that.

    Let’s get Mina out of the way first, who qualifies that blasphemous zero with a mere “WTF?”. It makes perfect sense in context, honest! You weren’t alone in just not getting it though – DJHazey: “Literally doesn’t bring out any emotion from me one way of the other.” and Sprockrooster: “I do not know this and this song does not help either.” play the ignorance card too and it ain’t cute. Thankfully iheartpoptarts has been converted: “While I don’t love the song, I suddenly want to see this movie. It looks hilarious.” IT IS. If I can achieve one thing from this whole rate debacle, I hope it’s convincing more people to watch this film. eccentricsimply wouldn’t lie to you, right? “This movie is a massive laugh, but the song is not that good.” alanmr: “So. Much. Fun.” and 2014: “fun fun fun FUN!” think it’s… well… fun, while send photo opts for a different adjective: “So stupid. I love it.” Okay but enough about me, what do you think of the song? Help me out, Raichu. “Fun.” Oh. “Seems to be trying to channel that Hercules energy, but doesn’t succeed.” Y’know what, I can totally see that. LKane thinks there’s something missing too: “This one is difficult because we don’t have musicals anymore during this era… So turns out to be a bit boring and just not feeling it. There’s a latin vibe on it, but then you have someone who looks like a tiny Elvis... just don’t like it.” I’ll give you the catsuit, but the hair? Elvis WISHES. Ex-Disneyworld employee MollieSwift21 commits a fireable offence: “I know this movie has it's fan but I'm not one of them. The song really never goes anywhere.”, but thankfully the good sis constantino is on hand to give Kuzco the send off he deserves: “DDD I’m giving this a 10 because The Emperor's New Groove is one of my absolute favourite Disney franchises and it’s the only representative in the entire rate so lemme stan. Oh and this is also a bop.”

    Sorry Kuzco, here's hoping you do better in the film countdown.


    Last edited: Feb 21, 2018
  20. What a film.
    stuaw and Animalia like this.
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