The Disney Classics Rate (The End.) | Page 81 | The Popjustice Forum

The Disney Classics Rate (The End.)

Discussion in 'Charts, rates etc' started by Animalia, Apr 10, 2017.

  1. [​IMG]

    Love Is An Open Door


    Highest Score: 10 x4 (@MollieSwift21, @aniraz, @iheartpoptarts, @Sideout)
    Lowest Score: 0 x1 (@send photo), 1 x2 (@ohnostalgia, @Lost Boy)
    My Score: 6.5 (WHY???)

    Frozen finally sees another cut with Anna and whatshisnamenoonecares’ loved-up little duet and honestly? It’s about damn time. This song comes out of nowhere, way too quickly after For The First Time In Forever, and then it just throws line after line, joke after joke of the most inane, childish, sickly sweet nonsense you could imagine. It’s too damn much. Of course, that’s kinda the point – it’s supposed to be an onslaught of ridiculous clichés to reflect Anna’s naivety in diving into this relationship so quickly and carelessy, and… no really I can’t remember his name? He’s so utterly pointless and terrible I can’t bring myself to care. But anyway, it highlights his shady guile, too. But the problem is, it doesn’t work like that until you know how it ends. Then you go “ohhhh that song was MEANT to be cheesy as fuck, riiiiiight hah that’s pretty cool.” But then you think “… okay. But it’s still a shite song.” The jokes aren’t funny – we finish each other’s sandwiches? Really? You wrote two of the most successful, beloved comedy musicals of all time and that's the best you can come up with? Okay. On top of that, the vocal performances on both sides are sketchy at best (those “with YEW”s are painful), and the fact that the song itself is essentially some kind of grotesque Ed Sheeran/Jason Mraz hybrid… no thanks. It’s a clever little nod to rom-com tropes, and sets up Hans’ (I googled it) eventual villainy nicely, but when there’s absolutely no pay off or conclusion to his character besides a terrible one-liner and some dumb slapstick in the final few seconds of the film, I find it very difficult to care. Honestly I don’t know why I gave it such a high score. Pity I guess. Oh, Demi Lovato recorded a version, but it was never released. Every cloud has a silver lining, eh?

    iheartpoptarts calls it “The best fondue song since Bieber” which is confusing on multiple levels because a) Boyfriend is shit, b) that line is awful anyway, and c) How many fondue songs are there? It’s not exactly a fierce competition. GimmeWork’s baseline for comedy is even lower though: “This song had me at ‘We finish eachother's ... Sandwiches!’” … sigh. Right eccentricsimply? “*sighs*”. Thank you. Raichu sacrifices good taste for bopitude: “Corny as fuck but it’s nice to get such a great pop melody.”, while Sprockrooster can only muster up a half-hearted “This is actually quite alright.”, and DJHazey is struggling to find anything nice to say: “The ‘doooooooor’ parts are really the only highlight here.” LKane is on a strict no dairy diet, Katy who? “When I first watched the movie, this song was the one that distracted me more. It was like a typical song for a musical but still it has something that sounds different and I still don’t know what it is. Now I just find it so much cheesy.”

    “I love this as a villain song,” MollieSwift21 starts, “The animation is so cute and romantic that it really helps make the twist better later on.” He’s still the worst Disney “villain” ever, teebs. alanmr gives us a lengthy comment that ends with the first, but certainly not the last time someone mentions an Honest Trailers video that I will promptly ignore. “This movie’s obsession with door imagery occasionally feels like a sledgehammer to the head, and while this song is endearing in the trademarked Disney way, it’s still hampered by the knowledge that Hans will turn out to be a huge asshole later on, even if the marriage proposal that closes this song is immediately shut down by Elsa being the Queen she is. However, there is something magical about the meme-worthy ‘We finish each other’s… sandwiches!’ / ‘That’s what I was gonna say!’ exchange, so it’s still pretty great overall. I’m not giving this a 10 mostly because I like Honest Trailers’s ‘We are about to pooooooork; parody better.” constantino isn’t a fan of overwrought clichés, but recognises their purpose: “Hans is a prick but he lays down some serious vocals here. I’m not usually into these kinds of love songs, but knowing the dark and twisted reality behind this makes me appreciate it far more.” Epic Chocolat offers us a video to… enjoy, I guess? “Oh my god! Is it the song they sing in Gogglebox? IT IS.”

    I think Mina sums up my thoughts on this song pretty well.



    Last edited: Feb 21, 2018
  2. THE TOP 50 51

    When You Wish Upon A Star

    A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes

    Once Upon A Dream

    Cruella De Vil

    The Bare Necessities
    I Wan'na Be Like You

    Part Of Your World
    Under The Sea
    Poor Unfortuate Souls
    Kiss The Girl

    Be Our Guest
    Beauty & the Beast

    One Jump Ahead
    Friend Like Me
    Prince Ali
    A Whole New World

    Circle of Life
    I Just Can't Wait To Be King
    Be Prepared
    Hakuna Matata
    Can You Feel The Love Tonight?

    Just Around The Riverbend
    Colours of the Wind

    God Help The Outcasts
    Heaven's Light / Hellfire

    The Gospel Truth
    Go The Distance
    Zero To Hero
    I Won't Say (I'm In Love)
    A Star Is Born

    Honour To Us All
    I'll Make A Man Out Of You

    Two Worlds
    You'll Be In My Heart
    Son of Man
    Strangers Like Me

    Almost There

    When Will My Life Begin?
    Mother Knows Best
    I See The Light

    Do You Wanna Build A Snowman?
    For The First Time In Forever
    Let It Go

    Where You Are
    How Far I'll Go
    We Know The Way
    You're Welcome
  3. HIS NAME IS HANS. And this song deserves more.
  4. Argh I love these so much.
    Animalia and aniraz like this.
  5. Yeah, I'm not too bothered by this cut, but let's leave Frozen alone until the Top 20 at the very least, please, the remaining ones are all 10s. Also, that Honest Trailer is great, stop being bitter!
    Mvnl and Animalia like this.
  6. NEVER.

    I'm mostly bitter because I upped my score for this from a 3 to a 6.5 and if I hadn't, both Out There and One Last Hope would have beaten it.
  7. Nooooooo, that song is the cutest! I mean, I know he's the bad guy, but still.

    That was my fave new discovery in the entire rate, so today I think I hate everyone.

    P.S. 'Boyfriend' is 10/10 and amazing in its ridiculousness okay bye.
    alanmr and Mvnl like this.
  8. Mvnl

    Mvnl Staff Member

    Also known as this lovely guy:

  9. eccentricsimply

    eccentricsimply Staff Member

    Thinking back I really should've given this song a 0
  10. I can't believe that all of Tarzan songs are still here. LETS GET RID OF THEM.
  11. Well... it doesn't have any howlers that are quite on the "elated or gassy" level, but it's not for want of trying. Honestly, Frozen has one really great song (you know what it is), and then they realized they had to write more and went "...shit".

    (Also, I'm not sure Hans is the worst Disney villain ever, although I would prefer that Disney didn't ruin its own twist by practically putting a flashing neon "BAD GUY" sign over his head. Not when we have the utterly useless Edgar to contend with, or Ratcliffe, who is just hollow for all of David Ogden Stiers' blustering. I'd add Prince John to this contest, but Peter Ustinov, y'know.)
    Last edited: Jun 5, 2017
  12. MollieSwift21

    MollieSwift21 Staff Member

    I really liked Hans as a villain. Not the greatest eliminations for me.
    Animalia and iheartpoptarts like this.
  13. me too.

  14. And now I'm regretting my 3.

    I do not, however, regret the 1 I gave that horrible snowman song.
    Animalia, send photo and LKane like this.
  15. Aww, Out There shouldn't be out yet.
  16. [​IMG]
  17. ohnostalgia

    ohnostalgia Staff Member

    Let's just chuck the rest of Frozen out, alternating with Tarzan (WHY ARE THOSE STILL HERE??)
    Animalia, Aester, Mina and 2 others like this.
  18. Cosign.
    Animalia, ohnostalgia and send photo like this.
  19. I had no idea Frozen was so disliked? I never got the big deal about it pre-rate, but out of the newer movies, it really caught my attention!
    DJHazey and Animalia like this.
  20. Not just talking about the forum here, but in real life - I'm thinking backlash out of how much exposure the thing got. Which I can understand, I feel the same way, somewhat.

    How do I feel about the movie myself? It's good. I liked it. Preferred Princess and the Frog and Tangled, though, and Moana might just about surpass it too. ...'S about it, really.
    kalonite, Animalia and iheartpoptarts like this.
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