The Koda Kumi Rate PART II: WE'RE DONE, for now

So what's with all those introductions?

  • Introduction to the second session

    Votes: 4 21.1%

    Votes: 1 5.3%
  • Introduction for Kingdom

    Votes: 4 21.1%

    Votes: 10 52.6%

  • Total voters
facking brutal!
It's what she deserves, "she" being the intensely annoying monstrosity that is Birthday Eve.
Today I'm making a cake
And putting in love for my darling
Because, because I'm a girl♥(*^_^*)
Ugh, spare me. I like happiness (I think, I don't really remember) and birthdays just fine, thank you, as long as they aren't full of reductive cutesy nonsense like this song. that's-my-opinion.gif
Some of you already know that I'm flying to Tokyo on Monday, but I just got a fucking cold! I need to get better ASAP. Unfortunately, I'm so weak on medication that I don't have it in me to do an elimination today. I'm so sorry, I hope I can muster up enough strength to do this tomorrow.

That Ain't Cool / Koda Kumi & Fergie

Average: 6,98
Highest score: 10x1 (@soratami) 9x2 (@Squashua, @me!), 8,5x2 (@ThisIsRogue, @Remorque)
Lowest score: 1x1 (@Eskiath) 4x2 (@yuuurei, @Cutlery)
My score: lookie above

And thus the next song to vacate from TRICK is none other than That Ain't Kuu (sp?). Produced by Fergie and Keith Harris (Nicki's Grand Piano, Madonna's Gang Bang, Britney's Perfume) and written by them and Kumi, the legend has it that Fergie gifted this song to Kumi after they bonded over their photoshoot for SCawaii magazine. It's actually quite heartwarming to know that these two are kinda friends, with Kumi meeting Fergie everytime she's in Japan. Fergie even asked Kumi for a cameo right at the end of her LA Love video. The song is a bit of a basic bop, but a bop none-the-less. I especially like the clappy beat and the twangy guitar-like instrument we hear throughout. Also, transitioning to lyrics, I freaking adore the phonetic properties of the verses, especially Fergie's. The second line that goes "I guess somebody decided to sell you out" is so pleasing to my ear due to the alliteration of the sound "s", ugh, just have an extra point just for that.

Most of you clocked the titled as well. @otenkiame (7) would have liked more from this, "Aptly titled "That Ain't Kuu", Fergie basically overpowers Kuu in every way, and the solo part she does get is a bit embarrassing. But damn if I don't enjoy it anyway." Meanwhile @RUNAWAY got his loife to this, (8) "THAT AIN’T KUU! Fergie delivered on this song and it’s really just a fun collaboration! It’s so great that Kuu got to work with her musical idol (choices) and the song is good." @Weslicious (6) tried his best, "This ain’t Kuul." Dddd, not this time, hun.

The majority of you found this not up to par with Kumi's best, although you could bop to this in right conditions. @vague (7) was just confused, "okay, it's a kii that she has a trakc with Fergie Ferg, but this is, like, such a generic urban banger i don't really know how i feel about this. it's okay, i guess" The fact that this actually happened is still pretty amazing though. @TABOO (8) was the victim of time, as his love for the track increased, "I have never been a fan of songs where the main artist feels like a feature in their own song, but I’ll give this one a pass. It’s definitely grown on me over the years!" I think it's a nice gesture to let the feature take the lead. Still, this was originally a Fergie song, so... @EachSmallStep (7,5) was expecting a total banger from the two, "I was shocked when this collab was announced. Looking back, it’s a bit of a letdown considering some of the great songs both released at the time, but the beat got me swaying." Yes, retrospectively this was very safe. A rare appearance by @lalaclairi_ (6,5) reassured us of the potential boppage, "A bit dated and basic, but the chorus goes off somewhat."

As the top scorer, who provided the commentary, @Squashua gets his own paragraph, "That chime sound is so iconic and basically a hallmark of quality in the genre, as are girl power duets about guys being crappy douchebags. Add the fact it makes me want to listen to Get Ur Freak On (and eat cake - thanks spoken word Kumi!) and you've got a pretty great package." Haa, haa, hoo, hoo / Thought you'd get the money too / Greedy motherfuckers try to have your cake and eat it too.

Quite surprisingly the ladies treated us to a live performance during TRICK Tour.

Kumi also performed with The Black Eyed Peas, but there is no video online. Wah wah wah.
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Average: 6,98
Highest score: 10x2 (@Squashua, @Empty Shoebox) 9x3 (@vague, @Remorque, @ThisIsRogue)
Lowest score: 4x2 (@Eskiath, @Cutlery) 4,5x1 (@EachSmallStep)
My score: 8

The second FREAKY b-side after Sora falls! Produced by aforementioned Morimoto Kosuke and written by Kumi, the track is a happy-go-lucky ode to girls having fun over the hot summer days. This never really grasped me as much as it could've, although I can't deny how fun and happy this sounds. It is yet another summer party song. Having said that, the extended instrumental ending is great and the chorus is pretty catchy. As far as I could gather, this song is rather popular with the Japanese fans due to the lyrics. Let's look at them, shall we?​

We've gotta raise up this summer!

What do you plan on doing without even being stylish!?
It's okay to expose more skin than usual, right?
Even our lip gloss will make the sunlight shine

What can you do if you fear failure!?
If you're afraid, nothing will start
Let's go with a "I don't care"

The best fashion and full of energy
Prepare yourself, c'mon, let's go out
Draw a chance at love in your summer picture diary
and let's turn the page
Let's sing a love song, shout it out
Let's find it on this beach
Girls heading out for the sea!
Our girls talk is getting exciting

Our summer homework: An independent research theme
Let's try investigating "romance" boldly
Upturned eyes at our white one-pieces
Our special strategy: "Take a chance!" (←A Koda-Shiki quote)

At times like that, I drown in your eyes and give a few words:
"Take responsibility!! You're the one who set the fire!"
It won't go out anymore

They're not a small kindling
like sparklers
A huge sound's gone off
like fireworks
Our research findings have come! I'll present them:
The answer is you!
The sentence is...GUILTY!! That's why!
...I wish I could say that... A summer like that...
(↑Is it strange to say that!?)
(c) @otenkiame

Oh wow, this is a lot, dddd. The bracketed parts are Kumi's commentary on the lyrics, ha! @yuuurei (5) agreed with me on that one, "Screaming at these fucking lyrics, but it's kind of a bop all the same." Kumi likes being extra, didn't you know? @TABOO (5,5) looked up the lyrics as well, "I love that she included some commentary of her own when writing the lyrics of girls. I like the summery feel to it, but it doesn’t really do much else for me. There are other tracks in her discography which do it better." Yes, I feel like she has other similar tracks that are stronger. @Weslicious (6) found a nice way to put it, "The Xeroxed to death with your smile." At least it's not a carbon copy, right? One of the lower scorers @EachSmallStep was kid enough to explain the score, "I remember people commenting back in the day this was one of her best, but I have not been able to get into it after a decade…" It gets better with repeated listens though.

On a more positive note, @otenkiame (7,5) heard similarities with another track that has already left us, "Those horns remind me a lot of "Birthday Eve". This track's also got some cute vibes, but much more toned down. Definitely has the right amount of infectious melodies to get stuck in your head." This is truly catchy, I agree.

Moving on to our highest scorers, @vague caught themselves an earworm, "oh, waow, what a bop! that chorus is undeniable, but the whole song is so fuckin' catchy!! i've been finding myself humming/singing this randomly ever since i first listened dddd" Infectious indeed. @ThisIsRogue gave this a high praise, "This is the stand out on this little EP." At the same time @Empty Shoebox found this flawless, "Solid bop. Can't fault this." I'm happy you like this so much, huns.

And once again we finish off with @Squashua, whose commentary is always a joy to read, "Trumpet fanfare that jettisoned me back into the 90's so I could dance around handbags some more. The whole rush from pre-to-post chorus are such a thrill right? Basically only lost out to my 11 for not sharing a similar guitar solo euphoria-explosion moment." And there you go with a hint of his 11. Teasing is fun!​

girls tends to be put into medleys on tours, but here is a separate performance from Kingdom Tour.
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Well BOO at these elims (but awesome write-ups as always @evilsin). I knew it wouldn’t be long before my scores properly started diverging from the pack. Part of me feels like That Ain’t Cool got kinda downmarked due to Fergie’s current meme status if anything though. I have nothing to pin Girls’ ranking on, y’all just repel fun bops.
the solo part she does get is a bit embarrassing
Aw that was the one part of the song I actually really like ww. As evidenced by my score though I don't really care for it as a whole. It's kind of boring and if I wanted to listen to a song mainly sung by Fergie I'd dig out my old BEP CD's.

As for girls, I just found the lyrics too basic and shallow, like, not every song has to have a deep meaning but I know Kuu can do better than that. But like I said, it is fun to listen to. I might even prefer just the instrumental.

Have fun on your trip @evilsin!