The Lady Gaga Rate (Haus Labs now available)

@Joe. and I serving taste by giving Bad Kids a 10


Staff member
58. 59.


Million Reasons
average: 7.06
Highest: 10 x 10 (@Alenko @elektroxx @Phonetics Boy @GimmeWork @Andrew.L @Slice of Life @soratami @Remorque @Mirwais Ahmadzaï @Music Is Life)
Lowest: 1 x 1 (@Ana Raquel)

This was cute at first but hm, turns out I don't need Gaga playing a MOR country balladeer. Least of all when it's such a generic cosplay in lyrics and sentiment that it's bereft of any emotional connection. It's only left a worst taste in my mouth since she's insisted on turning almost every performance into a morose, bleak affair and the less said about the video the better, not that anyone bothers talking about it to begin with. I barely even remember what happens except her crying over a rosary or something? A far cry from the same woman who dressed as a nun to deep throat one. Add to the fact that this was such a hit with the GP it's, in retrospect, a sign of the pandering, dull, uninspired Gaga we've been forced to endure since (The Met Gala being the one glimmer of hope she's thrown our way) and is essentially the antithesis of everything I've come to expect from her that I honestly would've been elated to see it bomb out at number 89.

But, you obviously all felt a little differently. This received mostly a smattering of 5's and 6's with enough 9's and 10's propping it up to get this far. @Laurence starts us off with some pragmatic theorizing "Just because the GP loves this, I do not need to hate it. While often it is the other way around... Well, it's one of good ballads isn't it? I wonder how this will do in the rate... Here we go!" @sfmartin calls it "A very strong ballad and I'm glad it was a success for her." which probably reads shadier than it was. Likewise with @Sprockrooster "This being one of her biggest hits ever makes me proud. But also baffles me." @Ashling92 is absolutely here for Gaga's ballads "If it wasn’t clear by now, I’m absolutely here for Gaga’s ballads, and this is no exception. A stunning song." @Untouchable Ace blames all parties involved "It's terrible when all too often a record company has too much control over a recording artists sound and musical direction. It's also bad when an artist gets so big that they have too much reign over everything and this is the result." @Petit nain des Îles thinks it sounds a bit uninspired "I can’t deny her performance is great but this is a bit too MOR for me. Can’t escape that « heard a millions times before » feeling." @Stradiwhovius would've preferred to check out earlier "Sometimes feel like this should have been the single. Just because it would have straight away said "Look guys this one isn't for you." " And @Seventeen Days agrees about it's single worthy status "This track feels like it was destined to be the big song on this album, quite honestly. The GP loves a good ballad hit." "It helped save the campaign and became the defining hit of the era, but I would have preferred almost any other song on the album taking its place. @R27 says, adding "The overkill of her performing this everywhere and anywhere with a TV camera rolling also dampened my enjoyment of the song. I respect the hustle, but let’s channel that energy into something a little more interesting next time." @madgemad says "The verses are annoying, the chorus is nice." but @daninternational thinks "The repetition in the chorus kills the emotion for me, it could be stronger without that" and @jtm calls it "Musically brilliant even though I don't like some of the lyrics" @Alenko says it "Her first ballad single that I absolutely adored. Gut wrenching lyrics. Wish we had the commercial as a the real video." @RJF is a bit better at controlling his rage over this one than I am "The fact that the latter half of Lady Gaga's career so far has been defined by two fairly woeful ballads being her biggest hits (with the other one that isn't this easily becoming one of her biggest hits ever) is a bit of a shame isn't it. I'm all for Gagger having big ballads. Just... can they not be good? I have no idea what it was that made "Million Reasons" click as much as it did. It's so dreadfully dreary and dry. It's not particularly well written or interesting. It's the weakest song on the parent album, and it even took the title for her worst video ever. The opposite of a highlight." @Ana Raquel ranks it low as well "This might be my least favorite Gaga song ever. It’s just insufferable" Not so for @Phonetics Boy "Sometimes I crave nothing more than bleating hoarse vocals. This is one of those times." And finally, @31entrance sums it all up "Boooooring"

ended Big Melatonin​
Last edited:


Staff member
So glad I didn't waste my time on this rate.


Wait, whaaaat? I didn't give this an 11! HELL NO! I've been calling for this insincere whitebread rubbish to fall since elimination 1! @Subwaykid restore my good name!!!
Fff wait scores got swapped I’ve adjusted them and it looks like this was actually eliminated before Teeth, oops! I’ll update averages and such when I get home. Apologies!
A Million Reasons is so, so terminally boring and I think 75% of the reason so many of her fans hate Joanne (not that I do, personally).

Freaking finally. You all know I'm not a fan of slow songs in general, but I absolutely DESPISE Million Reasons. I usually just skip when there is stuff I don't like, but just listening to this song makes me legit angry. I don't know if it's because it is a country ballad or if it's the fact that it was successful (???). If I knew I could give out zeroes, this would have got it.

Anyway it's a pleasure to be the lowest scorer here xx please don't eliminate my 11 it's cool