The Lady Gaga Rate (Haus Labs now available)

The production, the shoehorned interpolation of Earthquake and the horrible key change are the reasons I only ever listen to the Garibay version. Talk about polishing a turd!
Just been catching up with the rate. Lost a few 9.5 and 9's recently.

Brown Eyes - 9. I know it wasn't out recently but I really like the song. It has a rueful quality to it. Plus I have brown eyes and feel like someone could sing it about me!

Manicure - 9. I used to not like this but it grew on me a lot.

Sinner's Prayer - 9. Love the rhythm, the piano and the 'hey's.' Reminds me a little of 'Don't Shy Away' by Sophie E-B.

Teeth - 9.5. Catchy beat and crunchy synths with great vocal delivery. Reminds me of 'Tusk' by Fleetwood Mac.'

Mary Jane Holland - 9.5. A half point off for the lyrics in the Middle 8 which are annoying but I love the whole production. The best moment is the 'cause I love, gin' part.

The Fame - 9. Always thought the satirical lyrics to this were great. I usually sing along.


Staff member


Highway Unicorn (Road to Love)

average 7.41
Highest: 10 x 10 (@Remorque @Music Is Life @Petit nain des Îles @Ashling92 @blissteria @VitaminBee @Sprockrooster @DJHazey @Phonetics Boy @yeRleDanaL)
Lowest: 3 x 1 (@UncleDeSeanAli)

Oof, how epic is this song? Extremely, wonderfully, amazingly. I love this so much. That chorus! – music is life
We love a noisy dad rock queer banger! @Phonetics Boy

I ADORE this. I basically love any song Gaga sings about freedom, following your dreams etc. and this one is no exception. That chorus is absolutely euphoric, and then it manages to get even better at the end when it launches into ‘Get your hot rods ready to rumble…’. Amazing. @Ashling92

Kinda preachy, but then vocals in the coda hit and I still get goosebumps nine years on. @collxtion

Doesn't live up to the title @daninternational

Another song that suffers from messy production. Would be an 8-9 otherwise. @jtm

Opener of the Born This Way Ball, it's a cute album track but no-one's favourite I think and also aged a tad by the tweeting mention I think. Well Gaga was the queen of Twitter for some time, but lets leave all those toxic platforms behind us. @laurence (ed. note: i don't think there's a twitter reference? don't worry i'll update your score to a 10)

High drama. That outro is stunning @madgemad

One of the songs I forget are a part of the album, but love them when listening to the album. That's odd, since the song title is striking and the song is quite experimental. Anyways, this is a great song. First of all, that never-ending start of the first verse is genius, huh? And when it does start, it's a rush of energy and goodness. I always imagine the chorus as an intro song to some cartoon (My Little Pony pops into my head for some weird reson, probably because of the unicorn reference). But the post-chorus is my favorite part - 'I'm on a roaaad...' note slide gets me every time. Awesome use of drums, too. Oh, and the middle-8 is excellent, I adore how it unravels at the end. Let me raise its score a bit. @maki

Anthemic, epic, euphoric. This is a tour de force. The chorus is a highlight just for the hook. But let’s talk about those drums! And that outro! When the organ comes in, it’s the cherry on top. I wish it was a few minutes longer. It’s so grand it could be a perfect closer in her setlist. @Petit nain des Îles

Probably the closest the album gets to filler for me, so I never spent much time with it. That being said, there's still a lot to enjoy here and the verses feel like a bit of a precursor to “Heavy Metal Lover”. @r27

sksk who else remembers this being the weirdly dread-inducing opener to the Born This Way Ball complete with full unicorn? That entire tour feels like a fever dream. Anyway! A thundering, noisy banger. Gayer than Charli XCX monotoning "gay rights" with a bottle of poppers and a gun to her head. @RJF

When she sang “Get your hot rods ready to rumble ‘cause we’re gonna drink until we die”, I felt that. It's almost amusing how Gaga's imperial phase lined right up with my lush period. @seventeen days

Exhausting like you've just enhaled a twenty course meal but you've been stuffed full with a lot of magical moments. So many ideas piled on top of each other. I wish it was more cohesive but all in all its still a compelling journey. @sfmartin

I get people saying it’s cheesy (and they’re not wrong) but that’s part of it’s charm and I love it! @sypophantic

Even with the level of song enjoyment I had, I was not ready for the outro. @untouchable ace

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Staff member


Paper Gangsta
average 7.43
Highest: 10 x 9 (@Maki @Laurence @Sanctuary @Seventeen Days @happiestgirl @soratami @abael @AllGagaLike @RMK)
Lowest: 2.75 x 1 (@CasuallyCrazed

The ORIGINAL music not the bling. And a stormer to top it off. What a track. Such fun lyricism for what is essentially a takedown of LA Reid and Def Jam. That piano riff is *chef's kiss*. Shout out to the performance from the first iteration of the Monster Ball, the entirety of which feels like such an odd artefact lost to the ages, purely because it got utterly eclipsed by the now-iconic 2.0. @RJF

Very 2006 but not ironically so. You just can't play this straight. @Phonetics Boy

One of her most interesting melodies, but it falls victim to some ~Urban Gyal~ verbage that feels out of place in retrospect. The prechorus still gets stuck in my head 11 years on though so props where it’s due. @collxtion

Added points for reminding me of 'Don't want no short dick man' @daninternational

What a mood, what a vibe. Can we imagine what would have happened if this was her direction after The Fame? Well it's sure a standout but a good one! @laurence

Her half-rapped verses are pretty awkward and the phrase “paper gangsta” is giving me “white woman trying too hard to be urban” vibes. Not a great look for Gags. @r27

Glorious song. That PRE-CHORUS! @madgemad

Just realized that it sounds a lot like Freak Show, one of my favorite unreleased songs. I feel like this one goes nowhere though. @Petit nain des Îles

Her rapping is slightly goofy in this, but I still totally love it. I literally just read that this was about her being dropped by Def Jam, and I feel like the math woman putting it all together. @seventeen days



Staff member



average 7.49
Highest: 10 x 9 (@aaronhansome @Robert @Music Is Life @nikkysan @GimmeWork @Slice of Life @ohnostalgia @Guy @happiestgirl)
Lowest: 1 x 1 (@RMK)

Y'all are a mess. What a bop. The snarls, the growls, the Mario accent. I can't believe this didn't make the top half of the rate. Daily reminder the ASIB shit songs are still in. I don't think she had the capital to make this the hit she wanted to at the time but it always felt destined to become a fan favorite a la Dance in the Dark etc. Guess not!

A really strong song. It wasn't till the excellent live performances of this song that it really clicked. They perfectly communicated the frenetic energy that Gaga brings to the whole song. @sfmartin

It's got a nice energy but not a Gaga energy @daninternational

Really not mad for this one! @fresherthanyou

A very country song which doesn't sound much like Gaga. Still pretty good. @jtm

It just feels so pretentious. A debacle in her discography since the moment it got released. @kingbruno

this one goes out to the girls still smoking in malls @Laura Vanderbooben (ed. note: that was a classic)

Love it. A-Yo, A-yo! When the chorus drops and boom, you just want to dance, don't you? Joanne is off to a great start with this following up Diamond Heart @laurence

I find it very annoying. @madgemad

My score shifted a lot for this number. I can’t decide if this is annoyingly good or way too close to something from Fall Out Boy or Megan Trainor you would then hear on a kid’s movie soundtrac. It bugs me too much to be enjoyable. @Petit nain des Îles

The yee-haw buckaroo BOP that the gays hate to see! I'm sorry that they can't see the genius of the vocal acrobatics on display here. The feints of those verses, the tumbles on that chorus, the flips, the ribbon work. And all while doing moonshine at the saloon bar before attending the afternoon shoot out on main street? Smokem all, queen. The ex-smoker in me loves a Malboro shout out. @RJF

This song is never happening for me. @RMK

I remember around when the album came out and I saw some people declaring this to be "Joanne's Gypsy" and… No. No. @Stradiwhovius

Upbeat I guess that's a plus. @Untouchable Ace

They weren’t exactly picking the best of the bunch for the second single now were they? @r27

A missed single opportunity. @verandi

I... hate A-YO.

I'm glad Paper Gangsta was the last-standing non-single from The Fame (I think)! It's always been my favorite album track. Or is Boys Boys Boys still in? That's fine as well.

I can tell the eliminations are gonna start hurting more and more.


Staff member
Not y'all forgetting about Summerboy and I Like It Rough! I’ll do an album recap at top 40, yes?


Not entirely unexpected, personally, although Electric Chapel making it this far is a bit of a surprise but I suppose there's some Born This Way armor around it seeing as that album has only lost 3 tracks so far.
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