Reading this made me miss mis madres even more than I already did. Bring them back @Andy!!!Now
Disclaimer: I don’t know any of these women. My conceptualisation of them in this ranking is purely based on them as characters on a TV show. Of course, that doesn’t absolve me from critiques on what I write, but let me be clear that I have the utmost respect for all of them for keeping me so entertained, this isn’t Beverly Hills after all.
14. Julia Lemigova
I don’t know how hot this take is but I think Julia fucking sucks and I can’t stand watching her. I don’t believe Housewives casts should be homogenous but she’s such a weird fit and it throws the entire cast chemistry off; even though Joanna’s solo scenes felt like they were from another show, at least I was entertained. Besides her terrible styling, the most egregious part of her presence on the show is that her communication with the other women is always clumsy, antiquated and forced. She doesn’t have chemistry with anyone else on the show, especially not Alexia despite the latter conveniently insisting that when Adriana isn’t around they have TONNES of things in common. To that point, I don’t even particularly enjoy her scenes with Adriana. It’s frustrating that a full-time cast member has basically spent her entire run in the shadow of a Friend Of. Her rapport with Larsa is bizarre because she started out grovelling to her for approval and then switched to trying to take her down…but she doesn’t have the vernacular. I cringe when she does the whole ‘she hates me because I’m a mere serf’ thing, when there is no world in which she and Larsa would share more than a passing accidental glance at once another. I guess a broken clock really is right twice a day, because I did enjoy when she randomly whacked Alexia in Key West by saying she lived on drug money.
In fairness, I can see why she was cast ON PAPER and why the *idea* of her in the cast makes sense. She does genuinely have a fascinating backstory, but either due to bad storytelling from her part or bad production choices, it hasn’t been used on the show particularly well. What we HAVE seen is her bathe goats, fumble countless attempts at conflict and pot stirring and failing to convince a single person that she is even remotely attracted to MARTŠSSSIIINNAAA, her decrepit transphobic dust bunny of a wife. I thought her being gay would redeem her, but she’s actually doing a pretty terrible job of NOT making bisexual people look innately promiscuous and unserious on TV. As we approach her fourth(!) season, I wonder when the penny’s gonna drop that she’s terrible at this and ship her to the glue factory with her beloved goats. If her excruciating opera performance storyline wasn’t the final straw, I don’t know what will be.
Favourite moment: The blink-or-you-miss-it moment on the beach in the Bahamas when she lunged at Marysol with an ice bucket…like what did she think she was going to do??
13. Cristy Rice
Originally, I was going to go absolutely in on how terrible Cristy was on the show, and how much she reminds me of K*le R*chards, but then I saw the season one ‘reunion’ and something shifted. Don’t get me wrong, she was awful, but I ended up feeling…bad for her? She made a terrible impression, she got 6 episodes on a show that barely anyone watched at the time and remains the only cast member to have never been brought back in any capacity and her final note on the show was sharing that her business was cut out of the show after being whacked by Adriana the whole episode. She and Larsa were archetypal mean girls on that season and like most mean girls, her self esteem was a lot lower than you’d think and she was not prepared for Adriana to unleash a tirade on her. Cristy had very potent ‘peaked in the 00s’ energy, right down to the demonic teeth licking, and there’s something campy about that TO ME.
Favourite moment: Her over-corrective ‘I’m not bothered’ response to Lea handing her arse to her in the form of an invoice for attending her charity event without buying a ticket. To quote Adriana, have some class!
12. Ana Quincoces
One thing about me is that I don’t tend to find relationships/breakups/divorce particularly compelling reality TV storylines, purely because I tend to have very little interest in heterosexual relationships in general. Because her divorce formed so much of Ana’s arc on season 2, she came off very mopey and dour most of the time. She eventually started to heat up towards the end of the season, when she took on Lea and that PIG Thomas Kramer and was on the right side of history both times. I adore Lea but she is definitely conniving and has terrible taste in ‘friends’. I loved the scenes with her daughters, who are NOT socially awkward, by the way. Her and Lea, both seated at the far end of their respective sofas, fighting from across the studio lot at the reunion SENT me, especially because of how VICIOUS they both were. I was clutching my pearls the whole time. Ana was getting LICKS in…even Lea’s 10 year old son wasn’t safe.
Her attempted return for season 6 was a chop, unfortunately - very awkward and stilted, but worth it for Alexia and Marysol’s reactions. She needs to move on…it’s not even like this is a substantial enough platform to cling to after all these years.
Favourite moment: Storming out of Thomas Kramer’s dinner party in a blaze of glory…only to spend the rest of the evening sitting on the front step of his mansion because production seemingly wouldn’t let her leave the property for some reason.
11. Kiki Barth
I know she’s only a Friend Of but considering the Friend Ofs on this show are featured more than legit cast members I figured I’d throw the good sis a bone. I really was not a fan of Kiki in her first two seasons, but she stepped up for season 6 and I have to give that to her. The fact that she had about 5 lines in the entirety of season 4 and proceeded to only talk about sucking dick and cock in season 5 didn’t exactly create the best impression. Call it the Sonja Morgan Effect, but there’s something about a grown adult making being horny and promiscuous their entire personality that really annoys me, because what is tells me is that you aren’t actually that horny or that much of a freak; you’re most likely just vanilla and are latching onto promiscuity as low hanging fruit in the absence of a personality.
However, she clearly does have a personality and a great backstory and is actually very charismatic and funny, and I’m glad we’re finally seeing it more recently. She didn’t really get a well rounded edit until she became the only one to really burst Lisa’s delusion bubble and hold a mirror to her pathetic and entitled behaviour, because no one else was doing it. Even still, I don’t like how much of a sheep she is most of the time and she spent far too long parroting Alexia and Larsa, who absolutely didn’t need any more of an ego boost. That said, I’m excited to have her back for another season.
Favourite moment: Throwing a juice box at Lisa on a boat on a gondola in Mexico for throwing chicken at some dogs.
10. Guerdy Abraira
I feel like I’m supposed to enjoy Guerdy more than I do, but despite seeming like a lovely lady I’ve mostly found her a bit of a chore to watch. She spent her first two seasons being very frantic, having no storylines despite a D-plot conflict with Alexia and had a tendency to be very annoying in group scenes. Her energy on screen is very stressful; I’m not a fan of people who crash, bang and wallop through conversations and then burst into tears when people comment on it. Even though she was mostly in the right during cast conflicts and is undoubtedly one of the more level-headed and intelligent women in the cast, she didn’t really hold her own in arguments for the most part.
Despite spending her first two seasons bobbling around like Kermit the Frog while the other women (not Julia) delivered peak housewives excellence, she did start mothering a bit at the season 5 reunion against Alexia, before stepping into a more central role in season 6. I was worried by how such a deeply goofy show would handle her cancer diagnosis, but I found it very engaging and tactfully handled for the most part - I learned a lot as well, especially with the lack of resources for Black women. On that note, I don’t think the show has done as effective a job as other franchises in addressing the dismissive treatment of Guerdy at the hands of Larsa and Alexia…it’s pretty egregious. Thankfully, she WHACKED Larsa at the season 6 reunion and then whacked her again, so hard that Lisa felt it too. A moment most pleasing to me.
Favourite moment: The Cancer reveal feud with Larsa was one for the books, I had to pick my jaw up from the ground several times. “How do you know???”
9. Marysol Patten
After being introduced to her on Ultimate Girls Trip, I wasn’t expecting to like her and I still kinda don’t, but it cannot be denied that Marysol is one of the best Friends Of to ever do it. Even in the first couple of seasons she had a demeanour that I appreciated and was pretty funny in her confessionals, even though she was not the most interesting housewife. It was crazy how Mama Elsa absolutely eclipsed her in every scene - a true Lisa Vanderpump vs. Pandora Todd experience. She was also terrible at navigating conflict; whenever confronted about the Elaine drama (I was on Marysol’s side there, actually), she would just pout and deny instead of standing her ground.
Post-reboot she came back with a zany rebrand that I have begrudgingly grown to like in its ungodly levels of absurdity and cringe. Like, even her calling Alexia ‘Bro’ tickles me a bit at this point. She pretends to have a sense of humour but chooses very specifically when she has zero sense of humour at all, i.e. whenever Nicole or Adriana attempt a joke or campy moment at her expense. I found her undying loyalty to Alexia to be a stumbling block in season 5, when the latter was acting deplorably. At her worst, Marysol is just as pig headed as Alexia, but is ultimately less likeable. At her core she’s a dour hater but I think she’s essential to the show in its current form and I hope Bravo keeps stringing her along by her ‘cocky’ cup.
Unrelated, but I absolutely love her hair, so thick and pretty. I didn’t know where to put that but I wanted to mention it.
Favourite moment: Mama Elsa stepping in to fight Elaine because Marysol wasn’t up to the task. A legend.
8. Lisa Hochstein
I feel the need to split this write up in two because of all the original cast members she underwent the biggest…transformation (derogatory).
Pre-reboot, I found her to be an absolute sweetheart and actually kinda the heart of the show. Under the bimbo persona she was lowkey a dork in a very Canadian way (her coming out was so brave). She was mostly sweet and fun loving, with a sense of tragedy to the life she had resigned herself to as Lenny’s trophy wife; her first season definitely gave me Porsha and Cordell flashbacks. As the seasons went on and everyone else showed their arses and Lisa’s arc grew increasingly complex, my love for Lisa also grew. She was accused of trying to play both sides in season 3, but in reality she had no reason to pick a side because she was the only cast member to get on with everyone. But this is Housewives, and naturally she ended up just pissing everyone off…which devolved into what ended up being foreshadowing for later, when she got shitfaced in Vegas and totally alienated herself from the rest of the cast. Down bad, she still gathered Joanna at the reunion, and I was totally behind her on that. The fight with her rat of a makeup artist was disgusting. I feel like Lisa didn’t really understand how reality TV worked at the time and she believed these women were actually her friends, which is so sad.
Favourite moment: Her Taylor Armstronging around the carnage of her Lingerie party in season 2 - what a night.
Post-reboot I was shocked to find her completely insufferable. Her dorky, kind natured demeanour had soured with the passing years of her toxic marriage and what was left was someone bitter, entitled and grotesquely selfish. Multiple things can be true; Lenny can be a piece of shit husband and father and Lisa can be a needy, entitled, annoying brat. What sealed the deal was her complaining about having to share a room on Larsa’s trip even though everyone else was sharing…like, you haven’t earned these privileges. When she said her whole life was Lenny…she really wasn’t kidding. Can we talk about something else? Although, it was of a kii that she immediately found some other rich guy to latch herself onto in the wake of her separation, who she couldn’t even bring herself to say she even liked on camera. When she needed to set alarms to remind her to check in on her boyfriend…she was so real for that honestly. I also screamed when Kiki confronted her about her micro aggressions and she was like “that’s my sense of humour, I’m quirky” defghxfnfgsdasfgzdhxfcjg.
Favourite moment: The scene of her divorce reveal is one of my favourite scenes of any franchise.
7. KarenT Sierra
As many of you will know, I was an ardent Valentina stan circa 2017 and it’s a badge I wear with pride to this very day. Consequently, it is very logical that I immediately felt connected to Miss Karent Miss Legendary Sierra. There are few things I love to watch more than a beautiful woman with no emotional intelligence or social skills haphazardly crashing through life, and that was precisely what her season 2 arc was. She landed with a thud and immediately made the majority of the cast turn on her, ostracising herself from the jump while smiling like a cyborg. With the exception of the stuff with her dad getting sick, she didn’t really break despite the rest of the cast absolutely despising her. A notable exception is of course Joanna, who, despite often being in the wrong, was quick to intervene when Alexia was trying to tear mother down. Most of the time it felt like high school bullying. Yes Karent was a social climber to an egregious extent, but if Alexia, Marysol and Ana had even the slightest morsel of a sense of humour they would have been able to brush it off as amusing, or even charming. Maybe I’m biased but she wasn’t even particularly bad besides being a pick-me with the Ana/Rodolfo stuff. And quite frankly, I didn’t feel that bad because Ana kinda sucked. Speaking of, Karent is clearly a subscriber to the Kenya Moore Playbook with that fraudulent relationship. She walked so Stacey Rusch could rise.
Favourite moments: The entire saga of her beating Adriana to the tweet with that artist…SO funny.
6. Joanna Krupa
I was familiar with Joanna because I happened to watch season 5 of Poland’s Next Top Model back in the day (do not ask WHY but it’s a great season and I have no regrets), which she hosted. I’ve watched a lot of seasons of Housewives at this point and Joanna feels very idiosyncratic in the canon. She was a bit of a monster, but I respect how much she came out swinging; women with high self esteem are deeply important to me, even when they’re objectively in the wrong. She really came fresh out of the gate with a prepackaged storyline and a supporting ensemble cast…no one was doing it like her. Part of me felt bad for Marta because Joanna really did belittle her, but then again, she also seemed like a lazy brat.
One thing about Joanna is that had CONVICTION - either when she’s radically right (confronting Alexia’s hypocrisy in the Bimini episodes) or radically wrong (instigating the fight with Adriana for no reason; repeatedly demeaning Marta and Romain; starting a proxy war with Lisa via her makeup artist). Impressively, she maintained these antics even off the show, exemplified by her actually suing Brandi Glanville for actual money for saying [that Mohammed Hadid said] her pussy stank on WWHL erwgehrwegth.
It’s easy to forget now that so much time has passed, but in the vacuum left by Alexia in season 2, Joanna kinda became the main character of the show when you think about it; we got relationship drama, sibling rivalry, skeletons in the closet, a drinking problem, activism, etc. Sadly, for season 3 she decided to add nymphomania to her roster and it became the dildo that broke the camel’s back. After demeaning her fiancee on camera across multiple scenes, she went on to reveal that she never even sucked his dick because didn’t like to give blowjobs…girl…(see also: my Kiki write-up). Further, gratuitous wedding storylines really do nothing for me, especially when you know full well they will end up divorcing (see also: Cynthia Bailey). Boom or bust, it cannot be denied that Joanna was a substantial presence on the show (and off). Speaking of busts, although she generally turned looks, she decided to come to her final reunion with the hair of a Medieval wench who had been dragged from her farm to the village square. Bring her back!
Favourite moment: Every time Satan took the wheel upon her taking a sip of liquor. Honourable mention to Marta’s ‘Mi Gente Latino’ moment at Lisa’s Lingerie party.
5. Larsa Pippen
My name is constantino and I’m a Larsonist. I tried to fight it but she’s just so enigmatic in her awfulness. I’ve never seen a person embody pretty much every negative personal attribute a person could possibly have with the exception of violence. As a LuAnnatic I have a particular appreciation for housewives who undergo stark transformations and Larsa’s arc has been something to behold. I still cannot get my head around how she respawned into an entirely different person between seasons 1 and 4. I genuinely cannot comprehend it. Excessive plastic surgery is one thing, but this was a body swap. My theory is that Larsa is just…one of those people. I think she’s very susceptible to external influences and will chameleon based on whichever stimuli resonates with her. I’ve never seen anyone radicalised by Instagram to this extent; from her face to her body to her voice to her vernacular to her short lived podcast…whew.
Like the other five people who watched season one, I found her return to be incredibly random, especially because I knew that she would go on to be a very substantial housewife post-reboot. I love a villain and it’s pretty iconic how she has both the housewives fandom and the NBA fandom coming at her neck at once. Her self esteem is so high that she ends up being pretty solid in conflict because very little gets to her and she is such a sociopath that she can say horrible things and not feel remotely bad about it. Her response to Guerdy’s breast cancer diagnosis shook me to my core. For her IMMEDIATE reaction to be “okay…and?” was INSANE, and then to go ahead and tell everyone else when she had told her not to EARLIER THAT DAY...I don’t know a worse person. Like, why did she seem personally offended by Guerdy’s cancer diagnosis? What is WRONG with her??? Anyways, I think she’s one of the best villains across the franchises. Never change, my love.
Favourite moment: Her asserting that she had an ACTUAL job, unlike Nicole, a doctor.
4. Lea Black
God bless whoever decided to cast this WASPy foghorn of a woman in a cast otherwise full of Latinas, because the show had no right to be so good with that dynamic. It’s like if Bravo put Kathy Griffin on Potomac for shits and giggles. She really ran the girls for those early seasons and I really feel her absence now that the patients have taken over the asylum. Her iron fist was so at odds with everyone else on the show that it made for captivating TV; the way she would make a foul dig at someone and then menially cackle in their face before they even cottoned on to what she said - art! Her saying “I hope my son grows up to be just like you both!” to those strippers in Vegas was DIABOLICAL. If that wasn’t enough, she released a plague of the most grotesque people onto the rest of the cast like it was sport.
Lea was just SO reliably funny and obnoxious throughout her run. I miss her! Her head wrap/kaftan combos in the Bimini episodes sent meeee…mother truly proved that style and wealth are often mutually exclusive. Speaking of, I loved her dynamic with Adriana and loved it even more when it fell apart, because it highlighted the flaws of both characters. I’ll get to Adriana, but what came to the fore with Lea is that she had similar tendencies to LVP in the sense that she often threw rocks and then hid her hands. Marysol is a hypocrite but Lea definitely wanted to take her down just as much as Marysol wanted to knock Lea off her pedestal.
Her homecoming episode was a great button on her arc on the show; it was hilarious because I genuinely believe that a) she was mortified to show her family on camera and b) she would never have visited them otherwise. I’m not saying ‘bring her back’ but I did cheer when I saw her cameo in season 5(?), because I genuinely wasn’t expecting it. With Nicole gone I do see scope for her in the cast, but I doubt she’ll ever be back on.
Oh and I had nowhere to put this but that random confessional when she had a burst blood vessel in her eye was so funny to me and no one ever talks about it.
Favourite moment: “ON MY BAAACK???”
3. Nicole Martin
If you can believe it, I almost put Nicole first. I think my adoration for Nicole as a housewife rooted in me seeing myself in her far more than anyone else on the show - young, more educated than any previous generation of my family, immigrant family baggage, daddy issues, expensive taste, kind of an arsehole but funny about it, AMEX holder, etc. There’s also the factor of knowing that she’s not returning and my sadness about that fact which has nudged her up my ranking.
Overall, she’s maybe a little too level-headed for the show. She has a lot going on outside of the show, and compared to everyone else in the cast, I don’t think she necessarily loves the platform, or rather, I don’t think she’s that desperate to be on TV. I think her relative ‘take it or leave it’ approach to the platform made it easier for her to step away, especially if it meant not having to deal with Marysol and Alexia negging her constantly (and trying to unearth her husband’s inevitably dodgy business practices). But still, there was something comforting about her being the only intelligent person on this show who doesn’t also happen to be insane, and I wonder how the dynamics will change in her absence.
Most of all I admired the sheer confidence she approached the show with, even though she acted like a smug pillock sometimes, she didn’t play the game sheepishly and was willing to get down and dirty when it came to it. The mirror stunt with Larsa was spectacular and a masterstroke in clearing an opp. I love that she refused to kiss the ring of the Old Guard and I love that they all resented her so much for it. For me, she became the voice of reason and approached an early Bethenny Frankel ‘Greek chorus’ status with her confessionals.
Part of me is dreading the new season knowing she won’t be there, and I’m pinning a lot of hopes on the new girl delivering.
Favourite moment: The way she yeeted her credit card at Alexia’s attorney eurhehddbfhf
2. Alexia Nepola
Alexia has genuinely occupied every spot on this ranking because my opinion on her changes by the minute. At the time of writing, I would take a bullet for her. Although I find her very obnoxious, mother clocks in and gives us enough story to compensate for at least 3 of her cast mates at any one time. I’m not just talking standard storylines…I’m talking about Tyler Perry level storylines with hijinks and fully developed lore. Truly no one else does it like her, for better or for worse.
At her worst, Alexia is a bully, she’s a hypocrite and she’s insanely stubborn. Despite being campy and hilarious, Alexia has zero sense of humour, which led to her sucking the life out of Ultimate Girls Trip season along with L*ah McSwiney. Because this was my introduction to Alexia, it took a long time for her to finally tunnel her way into my affections. Perhaps her worst moments on the show thus far have been any scene in which her Sigmund Freud dynamic with Peter comes to the fore. What happened to Frankie is a tragedy, but that doesn’t exhume her being a total arsehole, and the same goes for Peter. I genuinely find her approach to relationships - romantic, familial or otherwise - to be perplexing.
A her best Alexia, is a bully, a hypocrite and insanely stubborn and her GOP-level PR machine (Marysol) eventually got to me. Gradually, I found myself warming to her post-reboot. Unfortunately, for all her many faults she’s also fucking hilarious and that carries its weight in gold. At first, I was irritated by the hypocrisy of how Nicole’s husband is a ‘bitch’ for weighing in on ‘women’s business’, but Squeaky Todd can weigh in on Godriana and Queencole at his whim. Admittedly, the video of Todd apologising to Anthony on Instagram via a WRITTEN STATEMENT was so janky and embarrassing that all was forgiven. Her pretending to give even and iota of a shit about Julia just to stick it to Adriana sent me, because Julia has more chemistry with MÅARTŠZZZZÏIIIIIIINNAAA than she does with Alexia, and that’s saying something. I also cannot deny that Alexia has the comedic timing that clears both UCB and Second City with ease.
There’s just something bewilderingly satisfying about the cycle of:
Alexia: I’m not a liar
*adversary provides receipts*
Alexia: Why are you so obsessed with me? That’s weird bro, I don’t like that because you’re actually obsessed with me like I know I’m really fabulous and successful but if you, you know, wanted an autograph or something you should have just asked honey
Marysol: Yes she’s obsessed with you Bro leave her alone she’s been through so much!!
There’s also the subplot of her unironically loving Adriana’s music despite hating her guts. I chucked every time it’s brought up
Favourite moment: Her admitting that Adriana’s fake boyfriend wasn’t, in fact, married after realising that she didn’t scroll down on the PDF of his marriage record that she found online to show that his divorce had, in fact, been finalised…and then refusing to apologise for it.
1. Adriana de Moura
I mean…who else? I’d like to think that I’ve cemented myself as a Patron of The Arts on this forum, so naturally thee queen of culture had to be my number one. There is just so much there there with Adriana; she’s an intellectual, she’s a polyglot, she’s an art dealer, she’s a thespian, she’s a poet, she’s a seafarer, she’s a recording artist; she’s genuinely impressively talented and capable in many areas…but she’s also a total nutcase. All of this makes for perfect reality TV.
It was pretty much love at first site because miss mommas was really carrying that first season on her back and she knew it. I myself am an amateur art collector so I was maybe the only person on earth that loved the scenes of her ‘working’, especially when she castrated that awful male artist who tried it. I was obsessed with how she would loudly talk shit about people when they were standing within earshot from her, like she truly cannot help herself.
Another really important layer to Adriana is that she always goes too far eventually and exists in a permanent cycle between pissing everyone off, gradually charming everyone again and then destroying all that good will once again. Usually that’s a signature of a narcissist and a trope that I tire of, but the magic of Adriana is that even at her worst she’s still very likeable TO ME, especially post-reboot. The whole ‘accidents happen’ incident was sooooo funny, because why did she stand on business when she couldn’t even stand? “I could have lost my foot!” defghngfedgdfsd and then to end her ‘apology’ text with “my bad!”…helppp. She’s often dead wrong but she’s so fucking funny. She keeps her swollen foot on Larsa and Alexia’s necks, and is so effortlessly charismatic, that she always manages to worm her way back into the group. The closest I’ve come to unstanning her was during season 3, which was objectively her worst season. I wish I could wipe every scene about that damn boat from my brain. However, I won’t use that against her since no one evidently made it out of that season unscathed.
I would be remised to not talk about the punch heard around the world. It SENDS me how little repercussions she faced for a literal assault that was very much captured on camera. In fact, it was looped every episode of season 2. I cannot believe that Joanna sued Brandi Glanville for saying that someone told her that Joanna had a funky pussy[/Nene], but didn’t sue Adriana for punching her square in the face…ESPECIALLY after she denied said assault, even though Joanna basically ricocheted into the lens of the camera. Maybe she, like Alexia, just simply loves her music?
Even when Adriana is not the focus of the episode, her background work is impeccable. Whenever two of her cast mates are at each other’s throats, I can count on there being a hard cut to Adriana smiling in the corner, she is SUCH a menace. She’s only happy when other people are fighting and I think that’s beautiful. Has a Friend Of ever worked harder? No other housewife has punched a colleague (and denied it), performed at Mexico City Pride to the utter indifference of hundreds of thousands of people AND taken ketamine on camera. The way Andy treats her like a nuisance (she kinda is, but still) is repulsive to me, where is the respect? WHERE IS THE CLASS?? He should apologise for the SLÆNDẼRRR. I have no doubt that mother will carry season 7 like she’s carried every season on her back.
Favourite moment: Would it be the worst thing if I said “accidents happen…as you know, with Frankie”? and every second of how she handled the backlash?? If not, Marysol’s Liver, which was so hilarious that even hater Andy Cohen couldn’t help but chuckle.
The Real Housewives of Miami (S7) [TBD]
- Thread starter jamesmax
- Start date
Can't wait for Andy Cokeden to pretend he doesn't hate them and not promote them at all!
@constantino being an Alexia stan, I know that's right!
Also thank you for shouting out "I have a real job unlike YOU. Putting people TO SLEEP." because it's a near daily utterance by me when I look at resumes for work and every single time I crack up before I can get the whole thing out. Larsa Pippen is the embodiment of evil and we thank god in advance!
Also thank you for shouting out "I have a real job unlike YOU. Putting people TO SLEEP." because it's a near daily utterance by me when I look at resumes for work and every single time I crack up before I can get the whole thing out. Larsa Pippen is the embodiment of evil and we thank god in advance!
I'm not even joking i think about this quote on a near daily basis.... Alexia thee wise astrophysicyst!!
The real Astrophoecist is my queen Adriana. Has there ever been a better, more consistent Bravolebrity?
He/Him
Hi @constantino !! I wanted to let this mull over for a week, and I can now honestly say your Miami Ranking Playlist is my release of the decade! I have returned to it as much as a gay of a certain age (ME!!) returned to Confessions On The Dancefloor when that was released! A write-up full of bops!! The below are my favourite bits, and they still leave me cackling when I return to your masterpiece (for the umpteenth time!)
Thank you so much for taking the time and effort to brings us these!! I cannot wait for you to either start Johannesburg (what you'd do with the Ramona Singer / Kim Zolciak hybrid that is Krystal - I am salivating!!) or Married To Medicine and get these from either casts XD
LOL
This one is almost offensive to poor Cristy XD You know who I thought she reminded me of though? Kahlen from ANTM! I could not unsee the physical similarities! (Also some of the mannerisms)
BOPS!!
MONSTER BOPS!!
The entire Lea Black write-up is a life-changing bop - but these are particularly fantastic bits!!
I never realised what it was I enjoyed so much about Alexia until I saw you put to writing how ridiculous and hilarious these things were XD
A paragraph that will outlast us all! XD
Thank you so much for taking the time and effort to brings us these!! I cannot wait for you to either start Johannesburg (what you'd do with the Ramona Singer / Kim Zolciak hybrid that is Krystal - I am salivating!!) or Married To Medicine and get these from either casts XD
Not the M3GAN 2.0 visual crossover!
I'M READY TO GUERDIFY MY LIFE.
He/Him
Me to this entire cast:
She speaks five languages...and Jungle Rush is one of them!!
I think maybe next week? They did the same promo style for Atlanta’s return and the trailer dropped within a few days after.
It's what Lois would have wanted.