Hey hoes.
Let's go back to like...fuck...April 2014? Something like that? I had just finished up the Ke$ha rate that I hadn't technically supposed to have been running, and I was thirsty for more. I wondered...what would get me that attention I craved? And who was a big enough pop girl to maintain some interest, but not big enough to make anyone else already claim her in the rate queue? And would I be able to stave off various motherphuckers attempting to steal my thunder? (Please.)
Flash forward to...not quite today. I ran a #1s rate, and then I decided to open myself up to the urban market with a Nicki vs. Azealia rate. And then the time came...it was time.
The first thing I needed to do was make sure that Rihanna's eighth album didn't come out before this rate, because we have enough fucking songs to rate already. I hooked her up with Kanye West because I knew that would torpedo. I suggested she do a line of socks. I kept her busy with so many photo shoots that she had no time to record. I told her FourFiveSeconds sounded "timeless" and nearly gave myself away when I forgot to end the call before I collapsed into loud cackles. Thankfully, Rih took that as a suggestion for inclusion in the track, and now you can hear my chopped and screwed laughter under Kanye's verse.
And most importantly, Music of the Sun came out ten years ago, so this is a nice way to review the first decade of Rihanna.
Onto the...
RATE RULES!
- Rate every song between 0 and 10. Feel free to use decimal points - .5, .1, .9, I don't care. Don't go to the hundredths or anything like that, for God's sake.
- I'm doing the 11. You may rate one song, and one song only, that score.
- I'll be honest as fuck and admit that I want people to actually participate in this rate, so Rihanna's first two albums are optional rating, aside from the singles, which are required. Feel free to rate them and I will include them in the countdown, but I think we all know that they'll be falling near the beginning, and let's not waste everyone's time.
- Commentary is welcome but not required.
- Don't fucking troll the votes and make me toss your shit out. It puts me in an awkward spot and makes things less fun for everyone.
MUSIC OF THE SUN*
*titles in italics are optional to rate, underlined are required
1. Pon de Replay
2. Here I Go Again (ft. J-Status)
3. If It’s Lovin’ That You Want
4. You Don’t Love Me (No, No, No) (ft. Vybz Kartel)
5. That La, La, La
6. The Last Time
7. Willing to Wait
8. Music of the Sun
9. Let Me
10. Rush (ft. Kardinal Offishal)
11. There’s a Thug In My Life (ft. J-Status)
12. Now I Know
A GIRL LIKE ME*
*titles in italics are optional to rate, underlined are required
1. SOS
2. Kisses Don’t Lie
3. Unfaithful
4. We Ride
5. Dem Haters (ft. Dwane Husbands)
6. Final Goodbye
7. Break It Off (ft. Sean Paul)
8. Crazy Little Thing Called Love (ft. J-Status)
9. Selfish Girl
10. P.S. (I’m Still Not Over You)
11. A Girl Like Me
12. A Million Miles Away
13. If It’s Lovin’ That You Want (Part 2) (ft. Cory Gunz)
GOOD GIRL GONE BAD
1. Umbrella (ft. Jay-Z)
2. Push Up On Me
3. Don’t Stop The Music
4. Breakin’ Dishes
5. Shut Up and Drive
6. Hate That I Love You (ft. Ne-Yo)
7. Say It
8. Sell Me Candy
9. Lemme Get That
10.Rehab
11.Question Existing
12.Good Girl Gone Bad
13. Cry
14. Haunted
15. Disturbia
16. Take a Bow
17. If I Never See Your Face Again (w/ Maroon 5)
RATED R
1. Mad House
2. Wait Your Turn
3. Hard (ft. Jeezy)
4. Stupid In Love
5. Rockstar 101 (ft. Slash)
6. Russian Roulette
7. Fire Bomb
8. Rude Boy
9. Photographs (ft. will.i.am)
10. G4L
11. Te Amo
12. Cold Case Love
13. The Last Song
14. Hole In My Head (ft. Justin Timberlake)
LOUD
1. S&M
2. What’s My Name? (ft. Drake)
3. Cheers (Drink to That)
4. Fading
5. Only Girl (In The World)
6. California King Bed
7. Man Down
8. Raining Men (ft. Nicki Minaj)
9. Complicated
10. Skin
11. Love The Way You Lie (Part II) (ft. Eminem)
TALK THAT TALK
1. You Da One
2. Where Have You Been
3. We Found Love (ft. Calvin Harris)
4. Talk That Talk (ft. Jay-Z)
5. Cockiness (Love It)
6. Birthday Cake (ft. Chris Brown)
7. We All Want Love
8. Drunk on Love
9. Roc Me Out
10. Watch N Learn
11. Farewell
12. Red Lipstick
13. Do Ya Thang
14. Fool In Love
UNAPOLOGETIC
1. Phresh Out The Runway
2. Diamonds
3. Numb (ft. Eminem)
4. Pour It Up
5. Loveeeeeee Song (ft. Future)
6. Jump
7. Right Now (ft. David Guetta)
8. What Now
9. Stay (ft. Mikky Ekko)
10. Nobody’s Business (ft. Chris Brown)
11. Love Without Tragedy/Mother Mary
12. Get It Over With
13. No Love Allowed
14. Lost In Paradise
15. Half Of Me
ANTI
1. FourFiveSeconds (w/ Kanye West and Paul McCartney)
2. Bitch Better Have My Money
3. American Oxygen
EXTRAS
Live Your Life (w/ T.I.)
Run This Town (w/ Jay-Z and Kanye West)
Love The Way You Lie (w/ Eminem)
Who’s That Chick? (w/ David Guetta)
All Of The Lights (w/ Kanye West)
Fly (w/ Nicki Minaj)
Take Care (w/ Drake)
Princess of China (w/ Coldplay)
The Monster (w/ Eminem)
Can’t Remember To Forget You (w/ Shakira)
Towards The Sun
*titles in italics are optional to rate, underlined are required
1. Pon de Replay
2. Here I Go Again (ft. J-Status)
3. If It’s Lovin’ That You Want
4. You Don’t Love Me (No, No, No) (ft. Vybz Kartel)
5. That La, La, La
6. The Last Time
7. Willing to Wait
8. Music of the Sun
9. Let Me
10. Rush (ft. Kardinal Offishal)
11. There’s a Thug In My Life (ft. J-Status)
12. Now I Know
A GIRL LIKE ME*
*titles in italics are optional to rate, underlined are required
1. SOS
2. Kisses Don’t Lie
3. Unfaithful
4. We Ride
5. Dem Haters (ft. Dwane Husbands)
6. Final Goodbye
7. Break It Off (ft. Sean Paul)
8. Crazy Little Thing Called Love (ft. J-Status)
9. Selfish Girl
10. P.S. (I’m Still Not Over You)
11. A Girl Like Me
12. A Million Miles Away
13. If It’s Lovin’ That You Want (Part 2) (ft. Cory Gunz)
GOOD GIRL GONE BAD
1. Umbrella (ft. Jay-Z)
2. Push Up On Me
3. Don’t Stop The Music
4. Breakin’ Dishes
5. Shut Up and Drive
6. Hate That I Love You (ft. Ne-Yo)
7. Say It
8. Sell Me Candy
9. Lemme Get That
10.Rehab
11.Question Existing
12.Good Girl Gone Bad
13. Cry
14. Haunted
15. Disturbia
16. Take a Bow
17. If I Never See Your Face Again (w/ Maroon 5)
RATED R
1. Mad House
2. Wait Your Turn
3. Hard (ft. Jeezy)
4. Stupid In Love
5. Rockstar 101 (ft. Slash)
6. Russian Roulette
7. Fire Bomb
8. Rude Boy
9. Photographs (ft. will.i.am)
10. G4L
11. Te Amo
12. Cold Case Love
13. The Last Song
14. Hole In My Head (ft. Justin Timberlake)
LOUD
1. S&M
2. What’s My Name? (ft. Drake)
3. Cheers (Drink to That)
4. Fading
5. Only Girl (In The World)
6. California King Bed
7. Man Down
8. Raining Men (ft. Nicki Minaj)
9. Complicated
10. Skin
11. Love The Way You Lie (Part II) (ft. Eminem)
TALK THAT TALK
1. You Da One
2. Where Have You Been
3. We Found Love (ft. Calvin Harris)
4. Talk That Talk (ft. Jay-Z)
5. Cockiness (Love It)
6. Birthday Cake (ft. Chris Brown)
7. We All Want Love
8. Drunk on Love
9. Roc Me Out
10. Watch N Learn
11. Farewell
12. Red Lipstick
13. Do Ya Thang
14. Fool In Love
UNAPOLOGETIC
1. Phresh Out The Runway
2. Diamonds
3. Numb (ft. Eminem)
4. Pour It Up
5. Loveeeeeee Song (ft. Future)
6. Jump
7. Right Now (ft. David Guetta)
8. What Now
9. Stay (ft. Mikky Ekko)
10. Nobody’s Business (ft. Chris Brown)
11. Love Without Tragedy/Mother Mary
12. Get It Over With
13. No Love Allowed
14. Lost In Paradise
15. Half Of Me
ANTI
1. FourFiveSeconds (w/ Kanye West and Paul McCartney)
2. Bitch Better Have My Money
3. American Oxygen
EXTRAS
Live Your Life (w/ T.I.)
Run This Town (w/ Jay-Z and Kanye West)
Love The Way You Lie (w/ Eminem)
Who’s That Chick? (w/ David Guetta)
All Of The Lights (w/ Kanye West)
Fly (w/ Nicki Minaj)
Take Care (w/ Drake)
Princess of China (w/ Coldplay)
The Monster (w/ Eminem)
Can’t Remember To Forget You (w/ Shakira)
Towards The Sun
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