Discussion in 'K-pop' started by Squashua, Dec 4, 2017.
I think I cackled for about 20 minutes after seeing this.
Y'all aint right for kicking Pick Me out already.
And Squash, you KNOW you aint right for that Daehwi side-by-side, but it had me laughin so I'll let you slide on this one.
ONE OF THE BIG GUNS IS LOSING A TRACK
TRASH FOR IT 10s:
BEIGE ABOUT IT 4 to 5s:
Sanctuary // Send Photo
STRAIGHT UP ILJINS:
1 - Salami // D is for Danger!
3 - @digitalkaiser // @Gintoki // Monkey0
We had COOCHIE
We got through NANOONIENANO
We survived DODODODODODODODOD
But it's not over yet as we bid an annyeong to:
MA SUPAH LOOOKIE OOKIE OOKIE
No don't worry i'm not going to just skim this one honest. My sinuses may be more blocked than the doors to Fantagio's HQ but in the words of Cherunmi, the show must go on (and no I haven't contracted the flu from having to listen to Rookie on repeat whilst typing this either).
With 8 songs making it through to the final, only second to the monstrous army of 12 entries that LOONA rallied in (& if you think about it, between them that's 1/5 of all the songs), we're going to have SO MUCH time to talk about what an amazing year the RV wagon has had so let's just focus on this ode to the downright mind-boggling subversive annoyance of childhood right?
After the success and Tom & Jerry video game insanity of Russian Roulette, late into 2016, the news of another Red comeback was probably welcomed by many who enjoyed that side of the RV rather than the Automatics of old. When the title of ROOKIE and red paper doll+kitschy 90's wear teasers were announced, minds ran wild as to what the heck this song was going to even be about. For y'all not so into the K-Pop terminology:
Which is all well and good if it's going to be a meta commentary on entering the idol industry but turned out to not even matter then song rolled into town.
To say this is probably the most divisive title track in RV's career so far is probably an understatement. People (myself included) ABSOLUTELY HATED IT upon early listens. The repetition, the awkward pronunciation butchering of the title, the sheer reductiveness in songwriting... it really had a revert to Kindergarten quality about it which shouldn't probably be happening when you're 2/3 years into your careers. There's simple, and then there's inane. There's catchy, and then there's an actual contagion.
Then it starts silently, unexpectedly. You find yourself mumbling a garbled LUKEEEY under your breath in the office, on the bus, cleaning the dishes, whilst getting a chemical skin peel and a maxi pedi... your Tinder bio has "MY LOOKIE LOOKIE BOY" written on it by the third day. It gets louder and louder, suddenly the desire to fall into your wardrobe hoping there's a Gay Narnian World of Rainbows and Candy Crush tie-in deals back there grows to untold levels. Are you hallucinating or does that plant plot filled with cheap petrol station carnations you bought just in case y'know look a little... zaddy? Red becomes your colour, your only source of social contact is with the hand puppets you're stuck in a complicated love triangle with, the self-loathing grows and you've already googled if you can buy a polka-dot spaceship anywhere other than the Russian branch of the Dark Web. Until one day, it happens.
It's been a long night. The Puppets - you've called them "The Colleagues" because they only speak to one another out of formality - kept asking if you'd make your throuple Facebook official after getting stoned off floral eau de parfum fumes and you tried headbutting the inside of the wardrobe for the thousandth time just in case y'know. You cross the road on the way to a job interview to become a BBC kids' TV presenter... you should probably keep quiet about the Puppets, you think. In a half daze, your thousandth LOOKIE to the sky, you stay stock still in the middle of the road and suddenly it seems like everyone is saying LOOKIE LOOKIE at you, no, with you as a shit brown Citroen Saxa toots its horn to the sound of the intermittent jazzy trumpets you hadn't noticed before across the latter half of the song and the chav behind the wheel yells an obscenity at you in time to Wendy's ad-lib in the middle 8. "Are you okay?" a well meaning passer-by asks.
"Yes... I am now."
Is it crap? Or is it so beyond that point of questionability that we might as well accept it into lives as the one true brain mass shrinking jazz jingle the world deserves right now whilst still acknowledging that, yes, it probably shouldn't have made the Top 100 anyway, Dumb Dumb did this whole schtick 1000000x better and the only person who entered it in their ballot was a member who didn't take part in any other stage of the rate? Yes, we should all do that.
Oh and if you wondered what happened to the Flowercreep running amok through Seulgi's Cabinet Passage, he didn't in fact become a narcotics kingpin but instead, a CF curating magnet overseas as seen in the promo for flights & what-not below:
Yes, there he is - still scaring women, running around like an LGBT Jeepers Creepers dude and sending people into alternate dimensions all the while getting commercial coinage.
LOONA is shook, Yuri's hair just got even drier.
MY SUPA FIGHTY FIGHTY
Just as I said above, opinions are MASSIVELY divided on the ol' Rookster and its position as the awkward child of RV that's as equally as annoying as he was probably an accident.
If you thought the sound of an ever-repeated LOOKIE was cutting, wait until you read these reviews. Whilst most people had tens of 11 potentials, Salami was struggling in the underworld levels of scoring: "Another contender for my zero. I hate everything about this, luckily they had decent material the rest of the year. f(x) didn’t die for this." No but they did in the name of Amber's Uber rating. D is for Danger! is a grown up GODDAMNIT: "Easily the worst single they released in 2017. It's so infantile and annoying. The chorus gets on my nerves every damn time! Less of this and more age appropriate songs from them please." DigitalKaiser shares the sentiments (sure the real DigitalGramps isn't you?): "Ugh, okay so I stan red velvet but ever since this song released Its pretty much been my least favorite release by them. I find the production to be tinny, and the lyrics to be clunky and annoying." Monkey0 draaaaaagss: "I guess doing TWICE concept can be considered edgy and experimental." About as edgy as Playdoh my friend, which is a substance Gintoki has no time for: "I think it's just too sugary for my taste, which sure, sometimes is good but not this time, it's trying too hard to sounds catchy and the end is just childish and dull."
"Annoying"? "Clunky"? "Childish and Dull"? "I hate everything about this"?
Those are the sweetest compliments an Oppa has ever given me Gomabseubnida <3
NOT Ryan_Riot92's commentary for a 5.5 score being more brutal than most people's 0 reviews: "I bet “The Colleagues” or whatever the fuck their name is won’t ever be producing a track for SM again after giving them this absolute turd. Not gonna lie, I bop to this song when it comes on but I absolutely hate it … Like I can’t even find any redeeming quality about it … Why do I bop to it then you ask? Good question. I don’t know." The Puppets know where you live binch, ThighHighs is their mole in the US of A: "I don’t care if it’s annoying. I’m annoying and I love myself, so I can reconcile this song being annoying and also me loving it." You inspire me on a daily basis unnie YATH. And what's also inspirational is Cotton Park's ability to really sidestep discussing the song in favour of EP stanning and anecdotal narratives: "Another one of Led Belbet's disruptive attention-getting singles that take the most innovative parts of SNSD and f(x) and toss them into a bop casserole, while the album it sells is absolutely loaded with incredible songs. Rookie is an amazing work of art. One of my favorite E.P.'s ever. A friend of mine, not a KPop listener, had her birthday on the day this came out and I had actually downloaded it without even listening to it, and sent the mp3 to her by email. Happy birthday, here's something really cool for you! I mean, it's RV. You can trust them, right? Then I listened to it, and thought, "WTF? IT, where's the unsend button? There's gotta be an unsend button!" But it's really grown on me. Oh, and she loved it."
WHEN LOOKIE COMES ON AT CP'S OFFICE XMAS PARTY:
These lot were surprisingly balanced for a song that demands nothing but chaos and confusion. Eliminathan is now living the Velvetine Dream: "When it first came out I was sure I didn't like Red Velvet but their voices sound good in the song, I'm just not a fan of the chorus. They really won me over though this year so props to them mawma." Kuhleezi is the pioneer of adjectives beginning with L: "The arrangement is incredibly lush, and manages to save what would be an otherwise incredibly lacklustre song." RUNAWAY literally ran away from the dreaded LOOKIE refrain: "okay the verses were great but then that awful annoying chorus ruined the whole song. " whereas GeiPanda is in a complicated tryst with poor Rookie and a Bear he met on brand new dating app, ArsaUrsa: "I really want to love this, but I can’t help but be irked by the general tone of this song." and Empty Shoebox shocks with his powers of vagueness: "The word that's in my head after listening to this is 'repetitive'. It's by no means the only song that does that, and not the worst." Really? Because the only word in my head was:
MA SUPAAA LOOKIEEE LOOOKIEE LOOOKIIEEEEE
Did you know RV originally stood for ReVisionism? Alouder98 has gone beyond a 180 with this one: "I would give this a 0 a couple of months ago but it's low-key one of my favorite songs of RV." Slice of Life giving into sinful ways again: "Dddddddddddddddddd the definition of guilty pleasure. Like, of course I know this is objectively bad. But I still listened to this every single day during its release month dddd. IT IS SO CATCHY HJALP. Now I know how Pristin fans feel keke." Pristin has fans? Where.are.they.gif. EccentricSimply finally confirms that Satanist worship rumour we'd all been avoiding: " I detested this song SO MUCH at first and it honestly goes against my PRINCIPLES to have accepted in my heart. The problem I had with it was definitely that satanic chorus because the verses are actually pretty good, but eventually I accepted LOOKIE LOOKIE MA SUPA LOOKIE LOOKIE LOOKIE as my lord and savior." and it was a long time commin' but Vikeyeol's hurrr noww: "Me when this was first released: Why did they release this garbage oh my god, this is not only the worst song on the mini but possibly their worst ever??
Me after almost a year of reflecting and seeing how it started their total domination of 2017: ROOKIE ROOKIE! MY SUPER ROOKIE ROOKIE ROOKIE! MATJI MATJI! GEU NEUKKIMJEOKIN NEUKKIM NEUKKIM!
YASSSS TIME FOR A KPJ DANCE BREAK
Ddddd i'm so sorry Karmarisma gurl, this cull of your faves wasn't planned. You'll get your own back sooner or later don't worry: "Ummm...so looking back this is one of my most played songs this year. I believe it's one of Red Velvet's best songs ever and that brass riff is one of the best in all of Pop. The rap-singing is also absolute art on this, and Seulgi and Joy should be told to rap more." And what better way to end than with Serg.'s last will and testament: "This is their best title track of 2017 and I'll go with this statement to my grave."
We could've lost a single or two from Twice before Rookie.
@ThighHighs UNNIE, YOU ARE AN INSPIRATION.
Ok but @GeiPanda need to introduce me to Seulgi. Like yesterday.
It seems that I have a lot to comment on.
First things first, I didn't expect my 11 to make it far in this rate, so it beating out fan favourites Pristin, burning JJ Project ( @eliminathan, I saw your shade post), decimating Gucci, and even overtaking KPJ's meme queen Qrisus is more than I could've asked for. Also the most number of 10s (and 9.75s) given so far. I can't believe that I feel like I'm part of a family for the first time...All these closet Ong and Minhyun fans revealing themselves (they're my top 2 favourites as well, I can't believe this)
As for Rookie, I mean I understand the reluctancy to stan something as incomprehensible and iconic as this piece of art.
BUT ALL I CAN FEEL RIGHT NOW IS
Can we go back to digitalgramps for a moment? Brilliant.
No song has taken longer to grow on me. But even when I hated it, I still completely marveled at their all-in performances of it. I love RV to def but they're rarely as locked-in and on fire (well, Joy and Wendy are ALWAYS locked-in and on fire) as they are when they do this mindfucker of a song. And this CHOREO:
(Recognize the room, Sones?)
I think this can only mean one thing:
Neither of us is the psychic in the slasher game.
Has anyone run 'do do do do do do', 'soopah lookey lookey' and the nonsense from 'cherry bomb' together yet? If you do, be sure to name the result 'Experiment IV'.
Apparently it was like the #1 song of 2017 used on the Korean shopping network or something? ddd It did well on BGM (background music) charts. Which.. makes me concerned for Korea.
Did Hola Hola really not make it? On the way home listening to it and it’s a fucking great song.
If you close your eyes and make a wish three times into a mirror, I'm sure you can pretend the KARD song that made it through is actually Hola Hola!
Me while rating Rookie, remembering my initial hatred for it and feeling indifference still:
Me, right now in my desk chair, for some reason:
The fact that I didn't even give commentary to Rookie should tell you how indifferent I am to it.
After Russian Roulette, it was such a letdown.
It's not as abysmal as Party or Chu, so they haven't topped their labelmates in bad songs...at least.
Two songs two many...
Only stanning for Don't Recall here.
hit it hit it hit it ho.
Have we crowned Lip & Nip yet?
Okay but why is that 1/3 song still here?
It can go with Gain.
Separate names with a comma.