The Sugababes Discography Rate

Oh, and

bitchlaugh.gif
Nooo, don't torment me!

Oh and there are at least 20 songs that should be gone before Better.
 
Last edited:
Not to worry, real life always comes first. Have you ever thought of writing up some in advance, so that you can post a few at once whenever you do get Internet? I had to run part of my rate with dodgy Internet and that's what I did.
Yeah, that's what I'll be doing, darling. It'll just be a bit difficult because alongside the limited internet access, I'll have to also upload the graphics which are on a separate image hosting website and manage XenForo™ ha tricksy ways which screw up the formatting of any text I copy over from my master document. I'll manage though!
Yes, but I'll always have Vanessa right? When I decide I don't mind doing a rate that is destined for 5 voters, I'll give her everything she deserves and give your write-up word count a run for its money. hehe
For a second I was like I ain't taking part in no Vanessa White rate! Then it clicked. I will be there are square, boo, and help you round up more than 5 voters to pay homage to the Queen! Having visions of so many of her songs the Sugababes could have covered ("White Houses" by 2.0 or "Who's To Say" by 1.0 welp), or vice versa (she could literally do One Touch front to back).
Imagine the drama levels while you're away, @beyoncésweave. Just imagine. We'll all be speculating like nothing on earth.
Oh honey, the end game for this will be nuts.
 
Last edited:

londonrain

Staff member
For a second I was like I ain't taking part in no Vanessa White rate! Then it clicked. I will be there are square, boo, and help you round up more than 5 voters to pay homage to the Queen! Having visions of so many of her songs the Sugababes could have covered ("Who's To Say" by 1.0 welp), or vice versa (she could literally do One Touch front to back)

Hang on - which Vanessa? Carlton? I can be voter number six if you like. :)

Oh honey, the end game for this will be nuts.

I thought it was bad enough when we were outside the top 100 getting extra over Sweet 7 tracks. I expect drama on full blast whatever the final result turns out to be.
 
Wonder which songs we are losing next...
This one, for starters


























































#70

2_7_Virgin_Sexy_2.jpg


Virgin Sexy
Score: 6.823
Highest: 11 x 1 (@Filler)
10/10 x 7 (@lalaclairi_, @Jonathan27, @Island, @CasuallyCrazed, @Terminus, @Reboot, @LE0Night)
Lowest: 1/10 x 2 (@Solenciennes, @GhettoPrincess)
My score: 6/10
––

So this is fairly mediocre, but I’ve never really understood the hate for it. It tries to be a cute bop and fails, but there are enough elements here to not make it downright awful. Just on a structural level, it’s put together well enough. There’s a great guitar riff on it, and a weirdly good stop-start flow to it to match Mutya’s “getting it on” and “strobe lights” hooks are especially great, particularly with the harmonies underlaid. The random yelping, and uh perkiness from the second chorus onwards however is definitely not cute. Heidi and Keisha also weirdly fade to the background here.

I guess it is hard to get away from the overall theme of the song though. Doing a song about losing your virginity is a fine enough idea, but requires a level of finesse to pull off which the Babes just did not possess at the time. One feels that it should either have gone down the heartfelt track, in which case nearly all the questionable lyrics here would need to be rewritten and the production dialled down; or down the outright banger route of a beefed up production showcase which renders the lyrics irrelevant (see, for instance, most of their work with Xenomania). What it tries to settle for is something that’s lighthearted and ‘fun’, but the lyrics on display here – especially the “text me” and “like Freddy” lines, and the whole extended vagina metaphors on the second verse – really distract from that vibe. It could almost work on an ironic level, but the follow through is just not there lyrically or sonically to properly go off the deep end (i.e. by having even worse lyrics and playing up the unpalatable production tics) to be something so-bad-it’s-good like “Get Sexy”.

Just additionally, the choice of subject matter really shows that Angels was, in some ways, a step down in the level of perceptible maturity from One Touch. Whereas that album did a bang-up job of culling the tracks that betrayed their youth too much, such an editorial eye was really missing here. Its presence on the full album (as opposed to, say, being a B-Side, as would have been ideal) even slightly undercuts the burning attitude and maturity of the singles.

Let’s start with the disgust. “Something about it is gross” says a revolted theincredibleflipper (4). “This sounds like the same lyric repeated about 100 times,” observes an observant Mina (4). “Another example of disgusting title,” says a concerned ssa (4). Chanex (3) tries to shade both the Babes and Janet: “their "Black Cat" moment? It's awful.” Low scorer uno (2) is not having any of it: “This song oozes of their record company forcing them to seem sexy and older than they were. It's very try hard, and that "scares me like Freddy" line is cringe.” Something about the whole get up tells me that the song exists on the album because the girls wanted it and not the label. I can imagine Muts and Keisha thinking this was a coup and a half. Solenciennes (1) is having an allergic reaction c’mon babyyy: “I cannot stand this song and its dated, cringe worthy lyrics. Down there right at the bottom of the barrel with Easy, ugh. If you want me, just text me! Lyrically, it’s a big shift in maturity from heartbreak on the first album to butterflies about doing it for the first time and feeling your oats, as it were. I suppose they needed this kind of song to make that transition convincingly, but the lyrics are dreadful, I can’t stand the chorus and they did it better on other tracks. Trash.”

“Never really spoke to me, this one…” reflects Remorque (5), “They’re trying just a little too hard and the chorus is a big fucking let-down. The bridge is a highlight because of Mutya, but I’ve only just noticed the woeful backing vocals during the two repeats after the second verse. Like what the literal fuck.” kal's (5) hormones were not raging so he tries to undercut a better song: “This is a bit cringe and sounds as dated as “Supernatural”. Its only saving grace is the Strobe lights bridge.” mrdonut (5) at least gave it a go: “I’ve tried to appreciate this but I always skip” Meanwhile Deborux (5) misundersetimates the general consensus on this: “I know people love this but it’s always sounded so clunky and awkward to me. All these years later it still hasn’t grown on me at all.” It’s “not catchy enough" for PCDPG (5).

Someone for whom it is catchy is londonrain (8.5): “Slightly ridiculous but so catchy.” Accredited Windows Movie Maker beta tester DJHazey (8) finds that “The "strobe lights" section is pretty much perfection to me, but the chorus was always a let down and kept me from playing this on the regular.” roux (8.5) makes you really reflect on what 2002 was like: “if you want me just text me" is a genius lyric for 2002.” VivaForever (9) is bopping but having bad reception: “This is great but the 'just text me' line is so... ugh.”
 
Last edited:
tylerc904 (7) is not particularly discerning “If the lyric really is "it scares me, like Freddy" then the cringe factor definitely increases. Either way I do like this.” Candid footage of tylerc904 bopping to “Virgin Sexy”. Similarly, B movie second act victim Stopthestatic (7.8) is having the heebie jeebies but still bopping “Feels a bit creepy now honestly, but it's a lowkey bop. Also later spawned a funny moment when Heidi and Keisha couldn't for the life of them recall what song the Freddie line was from when asked. Giggle." Second verse queen Constantino (7) gets the jist, he understands: “This gritty bop of purity and self-preservation! I live! The lyrics make no fucking sense but I get the jist and that’s all that counts.”

Ironheade (6) tries to reason: “What's everyone's chubby over this? Sure, the vicious funk-rock guitars are pretty damn cool, but all they've got propping them up is a paper-thin drum machine that doesn't give them the beef or muscle they should, and some inexplicable male backing vocals. And as for the lyrics… uh. Good heavens. The girls are certainly game, but Keisha and Heidi both sound really, really off, and once again prove that this semi-rapping thing was not what they were made to do. Really, it's only natural charisma that kinda saves this one - they do their best to sell the song on attitude alone, but they're not like some other artists in their ability to do that; the Babes need a good composition to begin with, and they don't have that here. Plus, there's a weird ad-lib in the second chorus that sounds like Heidi sitting on a nail.” Runawaywithme (6.5) once again lands almost exactly where I would have: “This falls between genius and absolute cringe and I can never make up my mind about where it falls.” “I mean it’s fine, like it’s not shit,” justifies acl (6).

Blayke (9) is filled with virgin sexuALITY: “I love the sexual energy in this song and that it took a bit of a risk with the sound. It really was different to the other songs. I wonder if the girls loathed this song at first. “hormones raging, I wanna turn the page and take a look inside its amazing (oooo!)” CasuallyCrazed (10) is absolutely crazy about this: “this song should have been a #1 single for many reasons, but especially for its absolutely iconic lyrics. After flaunting their raging hormones and snakeskin boots, these girls are more scared of a guy heading to the danger zone than of Freddy… Kruger? (Best lyric: "Take a look inside, its amazing (WOOOO!!!)” … in reference to their vajays?) They could have chucked this on the Coyote Ugly soundtrack and served up a sloppy bar dance routine video.” ΝΝΝ now I’m imagining their lazy ass “Round Round” routine at a Soho bar table. Island (10) sadly did not provide any commentary for this but see approximately 5% of his posts across the entire forum.

Let’s close with the single 11 for this. Look, y’all may look down on ha but I absolutely stan Filler. They’ve run the full gamut on their commentary for this rate, from insightful to witty to hilarious to infuriating to downright tragic. The submission for this encapsulates that entire range, and more. So, like that time the Tubby Custard Machine broke down and doused all of the Teletubbies in hot, thick, pink goo, let’s let ha splooge all over the rate: “An instrumental that physically FORCES you to strut seductively down the street, flashing your sexy hymen to impressed passers-by [Ed: and they say hey sexy!]. Honestly, this would be at least a 9/10 singalong anthem even stripped down to just its backing vocals. "Sexy, sexy, sexy. Ooh? He just wants to get the job done. Ooh? HOOOOO. Sexy! Ooh? OWWW! Heh. GETTING IT ON. Sexy, sexy, sexy. Ooh?" Shit, I think this is my most-played Sugababes song and I'm still gyrating in my chair to it now. I have inexplicably never been bored of this. You know what I'm making it my 11. Haha yes you can't stop me fuck youuuu / Addendum: check out its YouTube comments. People who've apparently looked it up from a porn video soundtrack, debating whether or not the protagonist was squirting or just pissing. I just wanted to read people talking about the song, but, I mean, this is valuable too.” Find some tissues, hunties.




A range of live performances when this was a 2.0 staple are below, from the awkward (singing this to chirrens!) to the iconic (Quiche and Mutya teaching some lessons on fan service).





 
Last edited:
he/him
For a second I was like I ain't taking part in no Vanessa White rate! Then it clicked. I will be there are square, boo, and help you round up more than 5 voters to pay homage to the Queen! Having visions of so many of her songs the Sugababes could have covered ("White Houses" by 2.0 or "Who's To Say" by 1.0 welp), or vice versa (she could literally do One Touch front to back).

Hang on - which Vanessa? Carlton? I can be voter number six if you like. :)

Yas, gather them!
 
Top