It’s quite something to love something so personally, intensely and privately for a long time, and then expose that love to the world. Going ahead with this rate was just such an exposure for me re:
One Touch. In the many years during which I’ve harboured the deepest love for the album, I hardly let that on to anyone in my life. Even after signing up here, that love was expressed as briefly and intermittently as possible because there was always so much, too much, to say. Until this rate forced my hand.
That exposure was cutting and bracing for two reasons. The first was offering the album up for critique, something akin to feeding it to the wolves. From my time here on this forum, I guessed that estimation for the album was one of largely cool admiration with pockets of blind love or quick dismissal here and there. The album’s performance in the rate is largely commensurate with that. The opinions, bar a few, were by and large not messy or vitriolic, just incomprehensible baffling for the most part. It’s the scores themselves that were difficult to bear, with a number of painful, and unjust, results. They range from the quickfire massacre of the B-sides (#97, #92, #91 and #87); to the
atrocity of “Just Let It Go” bowing out at #66 (a good 50 places at least before it should have); to the relative underperformance of album track gems like “One Foot In” (#37) and “Promises” (#29); to even the somewhat low placement of “Overload”. That the album did as well as it did in the end is perhaps all down to “Run For Cover” doing the heavy lifting. But if there was one track to carry the album, and lineup’s, burden, then it might as well be the best song on the album, and by the band. And if
One Touch is to be remembered, unfairly, as “Run For Cover” + “Overload” and a whole lot of filler, then that is fine too.
What made the results tough to take is, I think, rather simple. When you love something so much, the reasons for doing so become rational facts to you. So much so that when someone expresses a contrary opinion, they appear as irrational, despite the fact that they are merely expressing a different subjective perspective. And so it was when I was attempting to process some of the abysmal scores thrown at the album, not just at the supposed fillers but at what I thought were clear standouts. The bafflement I experienced was enormous, and that bewilderment sometimes turned into anger (how dare they!) and eventually to profound alienation. As I’ve written before, if something that moves you so deeply leaves someone else entirely cold, there can only be a deep, unbridgeable disconnect in between. And it’s that disconnect which fuels dismissing such opinions as irrational or likewise. I’m not really trying to say that anyone who gave “Run For Cover” or “Overload” anything less than a 10, or indeed, any track on the album anything less than a 7, is patently wrong and a tasteless, heartless monster. But I am.
The second reason this undertaking was so bracing, of course, was sharing those very same reasons I love this album with you.
One Touch has become such a part of my life that it’s etched onto moments both grand and tiny; momentous and perfunctory; years of maudlin, life-altering despair and minutes on train platforms. Describing those things was, I felt, necessary to really explain why this album means what it does to me. But
oh man was some of it difficult. And yet it was in that process that I could find some peace in whatever disappointment the results held. Because, as always, it doesn’t really matter. What you have is yourself and your loves. In the end, sharing that was enough.
To ease the comedown, and to somehow pull the whole thing into a permanently beautiful and worthy experience for me, were the many gorgeous and moving thoughts, memories and experiences with the album from you all that I was utterly
privileged to be entrusted with. These things amounted to the opposite of the isolation I described above. Even beyond conceptions of rationality, deep, moving, delightful
connections. I think of so many of you mapping your adolescences to these songs;
@Jonathan27 ’s searing “Just Let It Go” testimonial;
@Remorque’s heartbreaking memories of “New Year”; and the plethora of you falling over yourselves to revel so movingly in “Run For Cover”. The cumulative effect of them all: a warm, lovely glow.
In the final instance, putting
One Touch out there enabled me to appreciate it as a public good, as much as a private treasure. To relive its quiet joys, nervous whispers and dark despairs. To fall in love with it, yet again. And for that,
thank you.