ϟ The Sweetune Singles Rate: Now it's actually finished ϟ



Farewell to 9Muses

Y’all don’t need a eulogy: 9Muses ate every last crumb in this rate.

…well, maybe not every last crumb, but damn close!

Besides, a full career retrospective’s already been done on our forum, courtesy of literally everyone’s fave, the inimitable @vague. It gets into greater detail on every track in their discography than I ever could, so I recommend y’all stop by for a visit!

One thing I will reiterate though: these ladies didn’t take their foot off the gas for a damn second, even in their later years. Nope, not by a long shot:

And that’s on legacy.

9Muses – Final Scoreboard

#2. Figaro (9.804)
#4. Wild (9.489)
#9. Gun (9.326)
#11. Ticket (9.293)
#12. Dolls (9.261)
#12. News (9.261)
#16. Glue (9.185)

9Muses – Highest Scorers

#1. @Crisp X, @RUNAWAY, @roblognick (10.143)
#4. @vague (10.036)
#5. @thommyh, @Slice of Life, @aux, @junkos (10.000)

9Muses – Lowest Scorers

#23. @M24 (7.286)
#21. @evilsin, @Empty Shoebox (8.286)
#20. @Wills (8.429)
#19. @camden_italian (8.786)

9Muses – Group Average: 9.374


YEAR: 2011

NO SERIOUSLY, THEY PEAKED: (11 x 3) @junglefish, @Hurricane Drunk, @Monkey0

LOVE TO HEAR IT: (10 x 16) @Wills, @Slice of Life, @aux, @RUNAWAY, @thommyh, @BeingNormal, @evilsin, @junkos, @Joli Chat, @codecat, @Remorque, @roblognick, @Crisp X, @Ana Raquel, @vague, @Empty Shoebox (9.5) @camden_italian (9) @ysev
HATE TO SEE IT: (8) @soratami, @M24
AS FOR ME: it’s a 10 – and the perfect winner

LUCKY UNNIES: We’re all lucky to live in a world where STEP exists ♡

It’s been a race for the #2 spot all along – you knew it, I knew it, we all knew it. Nevertheless, it’ll always be thrilling to see STEP snatch yet another subforum coronation; if any song in the history of music captures the spirit that brought us all together in the first place, it’s this.

STEP is JOY spelled out in skywriting… while the pilot dodges firework blasts, set off by poppers-fuelled carnies at the twisted circus down the street. The Day-Glo beat was, is, and will forever be legendary – nothing else in recorded music quite compares, because no one else has ever had the balls. It’s an unholy combination of every aerobics class, warehouse rave, and the entirety of popular music from the '80s and the early ‘10s, all thrown in a blender and immediately blown to smithereens, sending confetti halfway across the continent in the process.

It’s everything garish and tacky and grotesque and synthetic that we love about Kpop, from the synth textures, to the screeches buried in the mix, to the retina-searing video. It’s high art and low art and high art and low art in a spin cycle, pulverized down to a pulp, where nothing can remain unless it knows how to directly target the joy receptors in our lizard brains. It’s as close as I’ve come to finding a musical embodiment of CAMP: that je-ne-sais-quoi, which injects pure sunshine into the worlds that queer people have built for themselves, where everything feels irreverently pointless and of vital importance at the exact same time.

And while STEP is all of the above (and ESPECIALLY tacky, like whew is it tacky), it’s also a masterpiece. It’s Sweetune at the height of their multi-chorused, structure-fucking, vocal-layering powers, and it’s KARA standing triumphantly at the pinnacle of everything a musical act is capable of.

STEP is perfect.

And even with everything I’ve called it, STEP is still other things. According to Crisp X, it’s “RELENTLESS.junkos thinks it’s “Truly one of the best kpop songs ever!BeingNormal calls it “A glittery ultra-gay banger.” And for roblognick, it’s “I think the only KARA song I already knew but I didn't realise what a masterpiece it was.

No bonus points for guessing this would win, but it still feels right to see commentary like Ana Raquel’s: “If it doesn't win (or at least come close to), I'll be extremely shocked.” Meanwhile, thommyh smells worms for brains: “Imagine giving this song less than a 10.” Imagine! And Joli Chat hears triumph… of the contractual sort: “The way they go off in the last chorus, YEAH! You could really hear that they resolved that lawsuit!

Monkey0 gets his own paragraph for three reasons. First, for being the only 11-giver to provide commentary. Second, for this spill, which I felt in my soul: “Released at their peak serves perfectly as their magnum opus. The sheer power of the production and melodies coupled with key change that alters reality.

And third… for linking this After School/Infinite mashup that I’m not really sure what to do with ffffffffff.

Early on, I mentioned that RUNAWAY’s enthusiasm for everything Sweetune brought me a ton of joy. That feeling has only grown stronger as the rate’s progressed, so it only feels right to give him the last word on our winner. Consider it a sneak preview of rates to come!

We already determined that this is the best K-Pop song of all time, so it’d be kind of an obvious winner, but hey, I’m happy if it takes the crown yet again. Jiyoung getting the first line of the first AND second verses? Queen. Nicole being ICONIC? Check. Hara being in the center THE ENTIRE VIDEO?! Done. And her absolutely SLAYING with almost no lines?! AN ICON. Gyuri and Seungyeon being vocal powerhouses and visual legends like normal? Obviously. Literally this song has everything, and if it wins again, it will be well deserved.

Below is the video. So much could be (and has been) said, but right now, in 2021, one thing stands out above all else:

Watching this video makes me so excited to get back out in the world and celebrate with friends again.

And yes, that includes all of you – y’all are welcome in Canada anytime! ♡♡♡

@Wills wow at that Figaro writeup actually no — these two last writeups...so good!! You have the passion and the true wit of someone who loves these songs to the core, and I loved seeing it throughout this terrific rate — thank you for your hard work and for your time! What a legendary top 10...wait, top 20 even! Let me also clap for that sleazebag @junglefish for another serve in the graphics department, I know I said this at least twice but I really loved that Figaro graphic!
I think there’s been a miscalculation and A.De Good Time actually won :/
The way this is lowkey correct in my brain cavitites fff when it's right it's right!
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Great rate, greater host, greatest winner.

STEP is K-Pop at its best for me and it’s because of this song that KARA is forever my favorite 2nd gen group. It’s just so joyful but it’s always made me a bit emotional for some reasons. To see them glowing and having fun in the video is heartwarming and at the same time so bittersweet.

They all deserve the world. Yes, even Nicole.


Farewell to KARA

There will never be another group like KARA.

There will never be another song like STEP.

And there will never be another talent like GOO HARA.

Now go vote in @RUNAWAY’s rate!

KARA – Final Scoreboard

#1. STEP (9.891)
#3. Mister (9.674)
#7. Midnight Queen (Hara solo) (9.391)
#10. Pandora (9.315)
#14. Lupin (9.228)
#17. Jumping (9.152)
#18. Damaged Lady (8.935)
#19. Wanna (8.913)
#30. Honey (8.359)
#39. Guilty (Seungyeon solo) (7.967)
#46. Pretty Girl (7.630)
#47. Mama (Nicole solo) (7.600)
#57. Daydream (Gyuri solo) (7.315)
#64. We’re With You (7.198)
#70. Lost (feat. Jeong Jewoon) (Nicole solo) (7.033)
#72. Rock U (7.022)

KARA – Highest Scorers

#1. @RUNAWAY (9.703)
#2. @Monkey0 (9.625)
#3. @junglefish, @BeingNormal (9.188)
#5. @thommyh (9.047)

KARA – Lowest Scorers

#23. @Empty Shoebox (6.250)
#22. @Wills (7.219)
#21. @ysev (7.438)
#20. @roblognick (7.625)
#19. @junkos (7.631)

KARA – Group Average 8.414
And that's the rate! STEP won, the girls dominated, and the boys... well, they were there too!

I'll share some stats in the near future - if there's anything particular you'd like to see, please let me know!

First though, lemme throw some gratitude around.

Thanks so, so much to everyone who participated - whether by voting or following along with the thread, it meant a lot that people cared about the results! I remember texting my bestie shortly before this kicked off, worried that I'd lose steam and end up abandoning this project (it wouldn't be the first time...)

But within, like, two days, those worries had vanished, and the biggest factor was... all of you. I quickly started to feel like I was writing to friends (instead of some faceless audience), and that helped take so much pressure off and let me just have fun with it. It became a highlight of my daily routine, and I mean it when I say signing up for this was one of the best decisions I've made in a long time. From the bottom of my heart, thank you all for coming along for the ride!

Oh!!! And thanks to those of you who were able to join for the finale celebration today - I hope y'all had as much fun as I did, cuz that felt like the perfect way to cap off this project!

I want to thank @ysev, @Crisp X, @RUNAWAY, @Luck, and @aux for all doing a wonderful job with the guest eliminations - I said it before, but I loved reading all your thoughts on your favourite tracks, and the quality of your posts were just... *chef's kiss* (@junglefish too ofc but he'll get his moment later)

Also: a big thank you to @Slice of Life, who singlehandedly keeps this subforum afloat every single day and makes sure that everything runs smoothly for us rate hosts. I've said it before: I have NO clue how you juggle everything you do, but it's enormously appreciated!

And, of course, my dear @junglefish - I'm so glad I acted helpless in the rate thread that one day, prompting you to offer your services fff. We've all been admiring your graphics for months by now, but it bears repeating just how special they were. Honestly, they were a big motivating factor for me: I really wanted everything else here to do them justice...

And frankly, it did! Dream collab tbh, we ate that

Thanks for everything sis!

In closing, it's funny how nervous I was to put my hand up for this rate, thinking "who am I to take this on?"

...only to sign up for the sequel before this one even ended.


See you all October 18th ♡​

Slice of Life

Staff member
Love u @Wills bestie!!! You ran this rate so wonderfully, no cap. No one could’ve given Sweetune the respect they deserve better than you did and I’m so excited for you to do the same for MonoTree.

Shoutout also to the good sis @junglefish for the iconique graphics. You did that heaux. Please go to Korea and help those poor entertainment agencies with their tragique graphics juseyo.

I feel like we all knew Step was winning.... well, maybe not @soratami and @M24 ffffffff......... but it truly is Sweetune’s magnum opus (tied with The Chaser xoxo) so it really is deserving to win. I can’t wait for it to bulldoze the competition in yet another rate in the near future kekeke.
@Wills Unnie, you did such an amazing job with this rate can't wait for your next one, the way you tackled everything from the amazing writeups to promoting the boygroup agenda and even shuting down a top10 tanking controversy! whew! As for the results
Rooting for a Figaro top 3 and STEP victory!
what can I say? I KNEW it was going to be this way, I'm not a psychic for nothing!

jk aside, Step deserved to win! but the chaser deserved a top3 noitstrueitstrue.gif
@junglefish great job with the graphics!!
This was a fantastic rate and reveal @Wills. Tonight's watch2gether thingy was really fun and personally such a welcome change of pace from an usually boring Saturday night as well nn. Getting the opportunity to take a nostalgia trip with a good chunk of the songlist, revisit some old favorites, and find new ones through acts previously unfamiliar to me was thrilling. Seeing the passion you and @junglefish poured into this event was lowkey inspiring. I can't wait for both of you's future endeavors, and you can certainly count on me to be part of them!


Staff member
This rate was so much fun @Wills! Your write-ups were excellent the entire way, and you gave everyone, flops and flygirls, the same treatment which is to be admired! I feel even closer to you as a person because of this rate as well, and I'm grateful to call you one of my forum friends <3

You did tank Dolls which I'm still not over, but I can let it slide....since you're a friend. Can't wait to see your iconic commentary for the KARA rate! Fabulous job bestie, and can't wait for the next one!!