The US #1s of the 2000s Rate (Part 2: 2005-2009 - Your #1 Is...)


(Yep, you've read my poker face - I didn't make this. Thanks to my love @wackseed .)

2000-2004 rate (WON BY CRAZY IN LOVE)

I gotta feeling… (woo hoo)… that this rate's gonna be a good rate, that this rate's gonna be a good rate...

Yep, it's me, the discount @Laura Vanderbooben himself, bringing sexy back for the second half of our rate of EVERY US #1 OF THE 2000's after I proved I can run it (run it), because the first half was such a success, and you know what they say, what goes around… comes around. And in this round, we're going to check up on the back half, 2005-2009. Man, those years spun my head right round. We heard Jerusalem bells a-ringin', that that didn't kill us could only made us stronger, they tried to catch me ridin' dirty, and while I kissed a girl and I liked it, womanizer that I am, I decided, quite firmly, that I didn't like your girlfriend. (Hey, I had good reason. Now, I ain't sayin' she a gold digger…)

If you break these rules, I'll have a bad day, so listen up closely. All of these songs are irreplaceable, so RATE EVERY SONG, and send them in in THE ALPHABETICAL ORDER BELOW, otherwise it'll make me so sick. Rate these songs on a scale from "don't matter" to "I'm living my life!!!!!!" (0 to 10). Don't be thinking you can have whatever you like when it comes when it comes to decimals - half-points are allowed, but no others. You also have at your disposal a single 11 each, so hand that out to the song which ensures that your hips don't lie. And as for the commentary, go crazy with it, as long as you say it right. (Although, given how messy some of you were last round, it really makes me wonder…) And if you voted in the last half, come back baby please, cause we belong together. I'll do a tagging round before too long, since you're beautiful.

But I know you're saying "so what?" by now, so what are all you single ladies and hollaback girls waiting for? Prepare to shake your money maker and/or laffy taffy - just dance, it'll be OK! And from now, you can send in your thoughts on the songs, whether your scores for them get low low low low low low low low or your life would suck without them - whatever it is, give it to me! And after the voting period takes a bow on June 22nd, you can stand under my umbrella when the results begin.
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The Vast Collation of Crap, 2005-2009
1. 3 - Britney Spears
2. Bad Day - Daniel Powter
3. Beautiful Girls - Sean Kingston
4. Big Girls Don't Cry - Fergie
5. Bleeding Love - Leona Lewis
6. Boom Boom Pow - The Black Eyed Peas
7. Buy U A Drank (Shawty Snappin') - T-Pain feat. Yung Joc
8. Candy Shop - 50 Cent feat. Olivia
9. Check On It - Beyonce feat. Bun B and Slim Thug
10. Crack A Bottle - Eminem feat. Dr. Dre and 50 Cent
11. Crank That (Soulja Boy) - Soulja Boy Tell 'Em
12. Disturbia - Rihanna
13. Do I Make You Proud - Taylor Hicks
14. Don't Forget About Us - Mariah Carey
15. Don't Matter - Akon
16. Down - Jay Sean feat. Lil Wayne
17. Empire State of Mind - Jay-Z feat. Alicia Keys
18. Fireflies - Owl City
19. Girlfriend - Avril Lavigne
20. Give It To Me - Timbaland feat. Justin Timberlake and Nelly Furtado
21. Glamorous - Fergie feat. Ludacris
22. Gold Digger - Kanye West feat. Jamie Foxx
23. Grillz - Nelly feat. Paul Wall and Ali & Gipp
24. Hey There Delilah - Plain White T's
25. Hips Don't Lie - Shakira feat. Wyclef Jean
26. Hollaback Girl - Gwen Stefani
27. I Gotta Feeling - The Black Eyed Peas
28. I Kissed A Girl - Katy Perry
29. Inside Your Heaven - Carrie Underwood
30. Irreplaceable - Beyonce
31. I Wanna Fuck Love You - Akon feat. Snoop Dogg
32. Just Dance - Lady Gaga feat. Colby O'Donis
33. Kiss Kiss - Chris Brown feat. T-Pain
34. Laffy Taffy - D4L
35. Let Me Love You - Mario
36. Live Your Life - T.I. feat. Rihanna
37. Lollipop - Lil Wayne feat. Static Major
38. London Bridge - Fergie
39. Love In This Club - Usher feat. Young Jeezy
40. Low - Flo Rida feat. T-Pain
41. Makes Me Wonder - Maroon 5
42. Money Maker - Ludacris feat. Pharrell
43. My Life Would Suck Without You - Kelly Clarkson
44. My Love - Justin Timberlake feat. T.I.
45. No One - Alicia Keys
46. Poker Face - Lady Gaga
47. Promiscuous - Nelly Furtado feat. Timbaland
48. Ridin' - Chamillionaire feat. Krayzie Bone
49. Right Round - Flo Rida feat. Ke$ha
50. Run It! - Chris Brown feat. Juelz Santana
51. Say It Right - Nelly Furtado
52. SexyBack - Justin Timberlake feat. Timbaland
53. Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It) - Beyonce
54. SOS - Rihanna
55. So Sick - Ne-Yo
56. So What - Pink
57. Stronger - Kanye West
58. Take A Bow - Rihanna
59. Temperature - Sean Paul
60. This Is Why I'm Hot - Mims
61. Touch My Body - Mariah Carey
62. Umbrella - Rihanna feat. Jay-Z
63. Viva La Vida - Coldplay
64. We Belong Together - Mariah Carey
65. Whatcha Say - Jason Derulo
66. Whatever You Like - T.I.
67. What Goes Around… Comes Around - Justin Timberlake
68. Womanizer - Britney Spears
69. You're Beautiful - James Blunt
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Hey, at least "You're Beautiful" is funny. You lot better do the right thing and dump "Laffy Taffy" sharpish.
I didn't even see Laffy Taffy in this list amidst all the other literal crap.

Dear fucking god. This is going to be rough.
I forgot Coldplay managed to score a #1. Watch me be ridiculed for liking it I_CANNOT_USE_REAL_WORDS_PROPERLY_.
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNI_CANNOT_USE_REAL_WORDS_PROPERLY it's going to be one of my (likely few) 10s. I feel like this is going to be a bonding experience for us.
Why is like...every American Idol winner's debut single* so naff?

* - Kelly Clarkson is exempt from this, obviously, because A Moment Like This is fucking amazing.
Ooh I might participate in this half! Crank That to be the first to go please. I have no freaking idea how to rate Hey There Delilah. Viva La Vida is gonna be that song that somehow sticks around till #7 or something.

Why is like...every American Idol winner's debut single* so naff?

* - Kelly Clarkson is exempt from this, obviously, because A Moment Like This is fucking amazing.

Is this Inside Your Heaven shade? Also Phillip Phillips' Home is an 11/10.
This is going to be a bit like the Jessie J rate, where nothing really deserves an 11/10 so I just chuck it at the song that I like the best. Not sure what that is yet though.
Oh god, see, this is gonna be a lot more intense for me, because I didn't start caring about pop music until I was 15, in 2005, so I have about 5000 opinions about every single one of these songs.

What if I give Bad Day my 11. What if I give fucking OWL CITY my 11. The possibilities are so limitless, y'all.

I gotta feeling that this rate's gonna be a good rate...