ohnostalgia
Staff member
She/her
FADE IN:
INT. RESTAURANT - MORNING (PRESENT DAY)
OHNOSTALGIA is a waitress in a coffee shop. She is in her late-twenties, but too old to be doing this. She is very pretty and meticulously groomed, even at the end of her shift. She is slamming dirty coffee cups from the counter into a bus tray underneath the counter. It is making a lot of RACKET which she is oblivious to. There is POP MUZAK in the b.g., which she hums along with.
INT. SEND PHOTO'S KITCHEN - MORNING
SEND PHOTO is a househusband. It's morning and he is slamming coffee cups from the breakfast table into the kitchen sink, which is full of dirty breakfast dishes and some stuff left from last night's dinner which had to "soak." He is still in his crop top pajamas. The TV is ON in the b.g. From the kitchen, we can see an incomplete gif project going on in the dining room, an obvious "do-it-yourself" attempt by @send photo.
INT. RESTAURANT - MORNING
@ohnostalgia goes to the phone and dials a number.
INT. SEND PHOTO'S KITCHEN - MORNING
Phone RINGS. @send photo goes over to answer it.
SEND PHOTO
(hollering)
I got it! Hello.
INT. RESTAURANT - MORNING
OHNOSTALGIA
I hope you're ready, 'cause I'm opening the thread. You ready to take our act on the road?
INT. SEND PHOTO'S KITCHEN - MORNING
SEND PHOTO
Well, wait a second now. I still have to ask Slicey if I can go.
INT. RESTAURANT - MORNING
OHNOSTALGIA
(dramatically sighs)
You mean you haven't asked him yet? For Jepsus's sake, @send photo, is he your husband or your father? It's just two days. Beysus, don't go all "twenty-five" year old on me. Just tell Slicey you're goin' with me. Tell him I'm havin' a nervous breakdown.
INT. SEND PHOTO'S KITCHEN - MORNING
SEND PHOTO
Slicey already thinks you're out of your mind, @ohnostalgia, that don't carry much weight with her. Are you at work?
OHNOSTALGIA (V.O.)
No, I'm calling from Nelly Furtado's Surrey concert.
SEND PHOTO
I'll call you right back.
@send photo goes through the living room to the bottom of the stairs and leans on the banister.
SEND PHOTO
Slicey! Honey, you'd better hurry up.
SLICE OF LIFE comes trotting down the stairs. Polyester was made for ha. She's positively dripping in imported Korean costume jewellery; Slicey manages a Korean Karaoke bar.
SLICE OF LIFE
Damnit, @send photo, don't holler like that! Haven't I told you I can't stand it when you holler in the morning.
SEND PHOTO
I'm sorry, sugarbutt, I just don't want you to be late.
Slice of Life exudes overconfidence from his 8 month residency as the K-Pop Monthly Charts host. He scrolls through his phone searching for the perfect DAY6 track to start his day.
SEND PHOTO
Hon.
SLICE OF LIFE
What.
SEND PHOTO
(he decides not to tell Slicey)
Have a good day at work today.
SLICE OF LIFE
Uh-huh.
SEND PHOTO
Hon?
SLICE OF LIFE
What?!
SEND PHOTO
You want anything special for dinner?
SLICE OF LIFE
No @send photo, I don't give a vegan shit what we have for dinner. I may not even make it home for dinner. You know how Mondays are.
SEND PHOTO
Funny how so many people want to sing K-Pop on a Monday night. You'd almost think they'd want to forget about it until the weekend.
SLICE OF LIFE
Well then, it's a good thing you're not manager and I am.
SEND PHOTO
'Bye honey. I won't wait up.
SLICE OF LIFE
See ya.
Slice of Life leaves. We see her Corvette parked out front. As she closes the front door, @send photo leans against it.
SEND PHOTO
Slicey's gonna shit ha-self.
He goes back into the kitchen and dials the phone.
INT. RESTAURANT - MORNING
The phone on the wall RINGS. ISLAND, a busboy, answers.
ISLAND
Good morning. Why yes she is. Is this @send photo? Oh, @send photo, when you going to run away with me?
@ohnostalgia comes over and takes the phone out of his hand.
OHNOSTALGIA
(to Island)
Not today, sweetie. He's running away with me.
(into phone)
Hi. What did Slicey say?
SEND PHOTO (V.O).
When are you going to pick me up?
OHNOSTALGIA
You're kidding! Alright! I'll be there around two or three.
SEND PHOTO (V.O).
What kind of stuff do I bring?
OHNOSTALGIA
I don't know. Photoshop stuff, I guess. We need graphics. I'm just going to bring everything.
SEND PHOTO (V.O).
Okay. I will, too.
OHNOSTALGIA
And steal Slicey's K-Pop music.
SEND PHOTO (V.O).
You don't know K-Pop, @ohnostalgia.
OHNOSTALGIA
Slicey does, how hard can it be? I'll see you later. Be ready.
Hello and welcome to The Winners Rate Part 2!!! What is a Winners Rate, you ask? Basically it's PopJustice Rates: All Stars Edition, but with probably less likes for you than live posting Celebrity Big Brother. Because we don't have enough drama or meltdowns on this forum, @Sprockrooster decided we should rate all the winners against each other to win the coveted prize of the Ultimate Fave. Who will join Emma Bunton's Maybe in the ultimate echelon of PopJustice fame??? I can't wait to find out.
When I was asked to host the reprise of The Winners Rate a month ago, my first instinct was "oh hell no." I've had many - let's say discussions - about the White Nonsense that went down in the Original Recipe edition. If you're looking for a host who's going to excuse what happened and say the criticisms were overblown, you've got the wrong woman. Musical tastes are not made in a vacuum- all of the intersections that influence the rest of society (racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, etc), also make it into the musical sphere. You may not want to interrogate your musical tastes from these perspectives, nor can I force you to, but @send photo and I will delete any -ist commentary. Because quite frankly members of our community who belong to these groups do not need to constantly read that shit and explain why it's harmful over and over again. We want this to be a fun positive experience for everybody, and I am determined to do my best to make that happen.
So this is where your participation is vital. I post on this forum every day; I know the wide array of music we all love. PopJustice deserves a rate that reflects all of our tastes- whether that's the purest pop of Carly Rae, the R&B of Beyoncé, the indie tones of Grimes, the hip hop of Nicki Minaj, the oldies but goodies like Bananarama, the K-Pop of 2NEI, the country of Maren Morris, or even the pop-rock of The Killers. The only way this can happen is if all of you vote. Spread the word, tell your friends to vote, tell your enemies to vote, tell random people you've never talked to before to vote! You know @send photo and I will put on a messy and unnecessarily extra show. And if you don't give us attention we will continue our reign of messiness into other threads. So really, if you think about it, you're doing the forum a huge public service.
INT. RESTAURANT - MORNING (PRESENT DAY)
OHNOSTALGIA is a waitress in a coffee shop. She is in her late-twenties, but too old to be doing this. She is very pretty and meticulously groomed, even at the end of her shift. She is slamming dirty coffee cups from the counter into a bus tray underneath the counter. It is making a lot of RACKET which she is oblivious to. There is POP MUZAK in the b.g., which she hums along with.
INT. SEND PHOTO'S KITCHEN - MORNING
SEND PHOTO is a househusband. It's morning and he is slamming coffee cups from the breakfast table into the kitchen sink, which is full of dirty breakfast dishes and some stuff left from last night's dinner which had to "soak." He is still in his crop top pajamas. The TV is ON in the b.g. From the kitchen, we can see an incomplete gif project going on in the dining room, an obvious "do-it-yourself" attempt by @send photo.
INT. RESTAURANT - MORNING
@ohnostalgia goes to the phone and dials a number.
INT. SEND PHOTO'S KITCHEN - MORNING
Phone RINGS. @send photo goes over to answer it.
SEND PHOTO
(hollering)
I got it! Hello.
INT. RESTAURANT - MORNING
OHNOSTALGIA
I hope you're ready, 'cause I'm opening the thread. You ready to take our act on the road?
INT. SEND PHOTO'S KITCHEN - MORNING
SEND PHOTO
Well, wait a second now. I still have to ask Slicey if I can go.
INT. RESTAURANT - MORNING
OHNOSTALGIA
(dramatically sighs)
You mean you haven't asked him yet? For Jepsus's sake, @send photo, is he your husband or your father? It's just two days. Beysus, don't go all "twenty-five" year old on me. Just tell Slicey you're goin' with me. Tell him I'm havin' a nervous breakdown.
INT. SEND PHOTO'S KITCHEN - MORNING
SEND PHOTO
Slicey already thinks you're out of your mind, @ohnostalgia, that don't carry much weight with her. Are you at work?
OHNOSTALGIA (V.O.)
No, I'm calling from Nelly Furtado's Surrey concert.
SEND PHOTO
I'll call you right back.
@send photo goes through the living room to the bottom of the stairs and leans on the banister.
SEND PHOTO
Slicey! Honey, you'd better hurry up.
SLICE OF LIFE comes trotting down the stairs. Polyester was made for ha. She's positively dripping in imported Korean costume jewellery; Slicey manages a Korean Karaoke bar.
SLICE OF LIFE
Damnit, @send photo, don't holler like that! Haven't I told you I can't stand it when you holler in the morning.
SEND PHOTO
I'm sorry, sugarbutt, I just don't want you to be late.
Slice of Life exudes overconfidence from his 8 month residency as the K-Pop Monthly Charts host. He scrolls through his phone searching for the perfect DAY6 track to start his day.
SEND PHOTO
Hon.
SLICE OF LIFE
What.
SEND PHOTO
(he decides not to tell Slicey)
Have a good day at work today.
SLICE OF LIFE
Uh-huh.
SEND PHOTO
Hon?
SLICE OF LIFE
What?!
SEND PHOTO
You want anything special for dinner?
SLICE OF LIFE
No @send photo, I don't give a vegan shit what we have for dinner. I may not even make it home for dinner. You know how Mondays are.
SEND PHOTO
Funny how so many people want to sing K-Pop on a Monday night. You'd almost think they'd want to forget about it until the weekend.
SLICE OF LIFE
Well then, it's a good thing you're not manager and I am.
SEND PHOTO
'Bye honey. I won't wait up.
SLICE OF LIFE
See ya.
Slice of Life leaves. We see her Corvette parked out front. As she closes the front door, @send photo leans against it.
SEND PHOTO
Slicey's gonna shit ha-self.
He goes back into the kitchen and dials the phone.
INT. RESTAURANT - MORNING
The phone on the wall RINGS. ISLAND, a busboy, answers.
ISLAND
Good morning. Why yes she is. Is this @send photo? Oh, @send photo, when you going to run away with me?
@ohnostalgia comes over and takes the phone out of his hand.
OHNOSTALGIA
(to Island)
Not today, sweetie. He's running away with me.
(into phone)
Hi. What did Slicey say?
SEND PHOTO (V.O).
When are you going to pick me up?
OHNOSTALGIA
You're kidding! Alright! I'll be there around two or three.
SEND PHOTO (V.O).
What kind of stuff do I bring?
OHNOSTALGIA
I don't know. Photoshop stuff, I guess. We need graphics. I'm just going to bring everything.
SEND PHOTO (V.O).
Okay. I will, too.
OHNOSTALGIA
And steal Slicey's K-Pop music.
SEND PHOTO (V.O).
You don't know K-Pop, @ohnostalgia.
OHNOSTALGIA
Slicey does, how hard can it be? I'll see you later. Be ready.
THE WINNER'S RATE PART 2
Hello and welcome to The Winners Rate Part 2!!! What is a Winners Rate, you ask? Basically it's PopJustice Rates: All Stars Edition, but with probably less likes for you than live posting Celebrity Big Brother. Because we don't have enough drama or meltdowns on this forum, @Sprockrooster decided we should rate all the winners against each other to win the coveted prize of the Ultimate Fave. Who will join Emma Bunton's Maybe in the ultimate echelon of PopJustice fame??? I can't wait to find out.
When I was asked to host the reprise of The Winners Rate a month ago, my first instinct was "oh hell no." I've had many - let's say discussions - about the White Nonsense that went down in the Original Recipe edition. If you're looking for a host who's going to excuse what happened and say the criticisms were overblown, you've got the wrong woman. Musical tastes are not made in a vacuum- all of the intersections that influence the rest of society (racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, etc), also make it into the musical sphere. You may not want to interrogate your musical tastes from these perspectives, nor can I force you to, but @send photo and I will delete any -ist commentary. Because quite frankly members of our community who belong to these groups do not need to constantly read that shit and explain why it's harmful over and over again. We want this to be a fun positive experience for everybody, and I am determined to do my best to make that happen.
So this is where your participation is vital. I post on this forum every day; I know the wide array of music we all love. PopJustice deserves a rate that reflects all of our tastes- whether that's the purest pop of Carly Rae, the R&B of Beyoncé, the indie tones of Grimes, the hip hop of Nicki Minaj, the oldies but goodies like Bananarama, the K-Pop of 2NEI, the country of Maren Morris, or even the pop-rock of The Killers. The only way this can happen is if all of you vote. Spread the word, tell your friends to vote, tell your enemies to vote, tell random people you've never talked to before to vote! You know @send photo and I will put on a messy and unnecessarily extra show. And if you don't give us attention we will continue our reign of messiness into other threads. So really, if you think about it, you're doing the forum a huge public service.
V O T E
Last edited:
