The Winners Rate: AND THE WINNER IS.... Me, Because I'm Done | The Popjustice Forum

The Winners Rate: AND THE WINNER IS.... Me, Because I'm Done

Discussion in 'Charts, rates etc' started by ohnostalgia, May 29, 2017.

  1. FADE IN:



    OHNOSTALGIA is a waitress in a coffee shop. She is in her late-twenties, but too old to be doing this. She is very pretty and meticulously groomed, even at the end of her shift. She is slamming dirty coffee cups from the counter into a bus tray underneath the counter. It is making a lot of RACKET which she is oblivious to. There is POP MUZAK in the b.g., which she hums along with.



    SEND PHOTO is a househusband. It's morning and he is slamming coffee cups from the breakfast table into the kitchen sink, which is full of dirty breakfast dishes and some stuff left from last night's dinner which had to "soak." He is still in his crop top pajamas. The TV is ON in the b.g. From the kitchen, we can see an incomplete gif project going on in the dining room, an obvious "do-it-yourself" attempt by @send photo.



    @ohnostalgia goes to the phone and dials a number.



    Phone RINGS. @send photo goes over to answer it.

    I got it! Hello.



    I hope you're ready, 'cause I'm opening the thread. You ready to take our act on the road?



    Well, wait a second now. I still have to ask Slicey if I can go.



    (dramatically sighs)
    You mean you haven't asked him yet? For Jepsus's sake, @send photo, is he your husband or your father? It's just two days. Beysus, don't go all "twenty-five" year old on me. Just tell Slicey you're goin' with me. Tell him I'm havin' a nervous breakdown.



    Slicey already thinks you're out of your mind, @ohnostalgia, that don't carry much weight with her. Are you at work?

    No, I'm calling from Nelly Furtado's Surrey concert.

    I'll call you right back.


    @send photo goes through the living room to the bottom of the stairs and leans on the banister.

    Slicey! Honey, you'd better hurry up.


    SLICE OF LIFE comes trotting down the stairs. Polyester was made for ha. She's positively dripping in imported Korean costume jewellery; Slicey manages a Korean Karaoke bar.

    Damnit, @send photo, don't holler like that! Haven't I told you I can't stand it when you holler in the morning.

    I'm sorry, sugarbutt, I just don't want you to be late.


    Slice of Life exudes overconfidence from his 8 month residency as the K-Pop Monthly Charts host. He scrolls through his phone searching for the perfect DAY6 track to start his day.



    (he decides not to tell Slicey)
    Have a good day at work today.




    You want anything special for dinner?

    No @send photo, I don't give a vegan shit what we have for dinner. I may not even make it home for dinner. You know how Mondays are.

    Funny how so many people want to sing K-Pop on a Monday night. You'd almost think they'd want to forget about it until the weekend.

    Well then, it's a good thing you're not manager and I am.

    'Bye honey. I won't wait up.

    See ya.


    Slice of Life leaves. We see her Corvette parked out front. As she closes the front door, @send photo leans against it.

    Slicey's gonna shit ha-self.

    He goes back into the kitchen and dials the phone.



    The phone on the wall RINGS. ISLAND, a busboy, answers.

    Good morning. Why yes she is. Is this @send photo? Oh, @send photo, when you going to run away with me?


    @ohnostalgia comes over and takes the phone out of his hand.

    (to Island)
    Not today, sweetie. He's running away with me.

    (into phone)

    Hi. What did Slicey say?


    When are you going to pick me up?

    You're kidding! Alright! I'll be there around two or three.

    What kind of stuff do I bring?

    I don't know. Photoshop stuff, I guess. We need graphics. I'm just going to bring everything.

    Okay. I will, too.

    And steal Slicey's K-Pop music.

    You don't know K-Pop, @ohnostalgia.

    Slicey does, how hard can it be? I'll see you later. Be ready.



    Hello and welcome to The Winners Rate Part 2!!! What is a Winners Rate, you ask? Basically it's PopJustice Rates: All Stars Edition, but with probably less likes for you than live posting Celebrity Big Brother. Because we don't have enough drama or meltdowns on this forum, @Sprockrooster decided we should rate all the winners against each other to win the coveted prize of the Ultimate Fave. Who will join Emma Bunton's Maybe in the ultimate echelon of PopJustice fame??? I can't wait to find out.

    When I was asked to host the reprise of The Winners Rate a month ago, my first instinct was "oh hell no." I've had many - let's say discussions - about the White Nonsense that went down in the Original Recipe edition. If you're looking for a host who's going to excuse what happened and say the criticisms were overblown, you've got the wrong woman. Musical tastes are not made in a vacuum- all of the intersections that influence the rest of society (racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, etc), also make it into the musical sphere. You may not want to interrogate your musical tastes from these perspectives, nor can I force you to, but @send photo and I will delete any -ist commentary. Because quite frankly members of our community who belong to these groups do not need to constantly read that shit and explain why it's harmful over and over again. We want this to be a fun positive experience for everybody, and I am determined to do my best to make that happen.

    So this is where your participation is vital. I post on this forum every day; I know the wide array of music we all love. PopJustice deserves a rate that reflects all of our tastes- whether that's the purest pop of Carly Rae, the R&B of Beyoncé, the indie tones of Grimes, the hip hop of Nicki Minaj, the oldies but goodies like Bananarama, the K-Pop of 2NEI, the country of Maren Morris, or even the pop-rock of The Killers. The only way this can happen is if all of you vote. Spread the word, tell your friends to vote, tell your enemies to vote, tell random people you've never talked to before to vote! You know @send photo and I will put on a messy and unnecessarily extra show. And if you don't give us attention we will continue our reign of messiness into other threads. So really, if you think about it, you're doing the forum a huge public service.

    V O T E

    Last edited: May 29, 2017

    10.000 Luchtballonnen | K3
    Ace Reject | Sugababes
    Across The Sky | Madonna
    All I Wanna Do | Danni Minogue
    All The Times I Cried | Sharleen Spiteri
    Back In Your Head | Tegan & Sara
    Bad Girls | M.I.A.
    Black Coffee | All Saints
    Bleeding Love | Leona Lewis
    Boy is a Bottom | DWV
    Burning House | Cam
    Closer | Oh My Girl
    Come Clean | Hilary Duff
    Cosmic Love | Florence + The Machine
    Countdown | Beyoncé
    Crank It Up | Ashley Tisdale
    Crazy in Love (feat. Jay-Z) | Beyoncé
    Cruel Summer | Bananarama
    Damaged | Danity Kane
    Delirious | Susanne Sundfør
    Domino | Jessie J
    Escapade | Janet Jackson
    Everybody (Backstreet's Back) | Backstreet Boys
    Flesh Without Blood | Grimes
    FM | Crayon Pop
    Formation | Beyoncé
    From This Moment On | Shania Twain
    Genie | SNSD
    Get Right | Jennifer Lopez
    Glory Box | Portishead
    Hot Summer | Monrose
    I Could Use A Love Song | Maren Morris
    I Love You | 2NE1
    I Want It That Way | Backstreet Boys
    Into You | Ariana Grande
    Jóga | Björk
    King | Years & Years
    Kiss You | One Direction
    Last Friday Night | Katy Perry
    Lonely Town | Brandon Flowers
    Love is a Sudden | Mixx
    Monster | Nicki Minaj and some other people
    Motorway | Little Boots
    Move | Little Mix
    Mr. Brightside | The Killers
    Mr. Saxobeat | Alexandra Stan
    My Blood | Ellie Goulding
    Nothing Compares 2 U | Sinéad O'Connor
    Paparazzi | Lady Gaga
    Powerless (Say What You Want) | Nelly Furtado
    Romantic World | Dana Dawson
    Run Away With Me | Carly Rae Jepsen
    Shower Scene | St. Etienne
    Sirens | Cher Lloyd
    Sissy That Walk | Rupaul
    Skyscraper | Demi Lovato
    Someone Like U | Dal*Shabet
    Starboy | The Weeknd
    Summer Son | Texas
    The Chain | Fleetwood Mac
    The One | Kylie Minogue
    The Sign | Ace of Base
    Toes | Lights
    Trick Me | Kelis
    Ugly Heart | G.R.L.
    Upside Down | A*Teens
    Vienna | Ultravox
    What Is Love | Howard Jones
    When Doves Cry | Prince
    Whenever, Wherever | Shakira
    White Diamond (Live) | Kylie Minogue
    Work (feat. Drake) | Rihanna
    You Oughta Know | Alanis Morissette


    72. Boy is a Bottom | DWV
    71. 10.000 Luchtballonnen | K3
    70. Skyscraper | Demi Lovato
    69. All The Times I Cried | Sharleen Spiteri
    68. What is Love | Howard Jones
    67. Hot Summer | Monrose
    66. Domino | Jessie J
    65. Vienna | Ultravoxx
    64. Crank It Up | Ashley Tisdale
    63. Love is a Sudden | MIXX
    61. All I Wanna Do | Dannii Minogue
    61. Across The Sky (feat. Justin Timberlake) | Madonna
    60. White Diamond (Live) | Kylie Minogue
    59. Upside Down | A*Teens
    58. Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.) | Katy Perry
    57. Kiss You | One Direction
    56. Burning House | Cam
    55. Romantic World | Dana Dawson
    54. Toes | Lights
    53. Mr. Saxobeat | Alexandra Stan
    52. FM | Crayon Pop
    51. Damaged | Danity Kane
    50. Come Clean | Hilary Duff
    49. Monster | Nicki Minaj + Others
    48. Summer Son | Texas
    46. Get Right | Jennifer Lopez
    46. Motorway | Little Boots
    45. Cruel Summer | Bananarama
    44. Glory Box | Portishead
    43. Genie | Girl's Generation
    42. Back In Your Head | Tegan & Sara
    41. Trick Me | Kelis
    39. Shower Scene | Saint Etienne
    39. Someone Like U | Dal*Shabet
    38. The Sign | Ace of Base
    37. Work (feat. Drake) | Rihanna
    36. From This Moment On | Shania Twain
    35. Everybody (Backstreet's Back) | Backstreet Boys
    34. I Could Use A Love Song | Maren Morris
    33. Sirens | Cher Lloyd
    32. Starboy (feat. Daft Punk) | The Weeknd
    31. Ugly Heart | G.R.L.
    30. My Blood | Ellie Goulding
    29. Sissy That Walk | RuPaul
    27. The Chain | Fleetwood Mac
    27. Black Coffee | All Saints
    26. Lonely Town | Brandon Flowers
    25. Move | Little Mix
    23. Closer | Oh My Girl
    23. Bad Girls | M.I.A.
    22. Cosmic Love | Florence + The Machine
    21. I Love You | 2NE1
    20. I Want It That Way | Backstreet Boys
    19. Escapade | Janet Jackson
    18. Jóga | Björk
    17. When Doves Cry | Prince
    16. Nothing Compares 2 U | Sinéad O'Connor
    15. You Oughta Know | Alanis Morissette
    13. Delirious | Susanne Sundfør
    13. Mr. Brightside | The Killers
    12. King | Years & Years
    11. The One | Kylie Minogue
    10. Ace Reject | Sugababes
    9. Bleeding Love | Leona Lewis
    8. Countdown | Beyoncé
    7. Whenever, Wherever | Shakira
    6. Paparazzi | Lady Gaga
    5. Formation | Beyoncé
    4. Flesh Without Blood | Grimes
    3. Crazy in Love (feat. Jay-Z) | Beyoncé
    2. Into You | Ariana Grande
    1. Run Away With Me | Carly Rae Jepsen

    DQ. Powerless (Say What You Want) | Nelly Furtado
    Last edited: Aug 24, 2017
  3. evilsin, RUNAWAY, Jwentz and 13 others like this.
  4. Iconic already!
    Oleander, Serg., evilsin and 10 others like this.
  5. When have I ever pretended to be impartial?
    evilsin, Jwentz, Oleander and 5 others like this.
  6. There's one song on this list that I recently had a "moment" to when I heard it live so I don't think I can give my 11 to anything but that.
    evilsin, myblood, ohnostalgia and 2 others like this.
  7. I just want to say that if any of y'all do either of my entries dirty, I'm going to catch you in these streets.
    Mr.Arroz, evilsin, Jwentz and 12 others like this.
  8. MIXX for the win.
  9. For the last winner's rate I gave out a load of 10s, but I think I'm not gonna be so generous this time because there are a few ... popular 10s that I don't want to end up winning. It's still an amazing bunch of songs, though.

    That said, I'm still bitter about everything that happened in the boy band rate, results-wise.
    myblood, londonrain, marie_05 and 2 others like this.
  10. Yes at the iconic duo hosting what is definitely going to be an amazing mess. I have no idea what will get my 11, but I'm so excited for this.
    evilsin, Oleander, LE0Night and 7 others like this.
  11. Wish I could say the same.

    Do not care that much for Sharleen myself and that specific song.
    send photo likes this.
  12. I cannot wait for more of these writeups! Loving it a lot!
    evilsin, Oleander, LE0Night and 6 others like this.
  13. Our hosts have assured me in confidence that giving Björk anything less than an 8 and/or using the words "pretentious" or "Eskimo" in your commentary qualifies as trolling, by the way. Thanks x
    Mr.Arroz, Oleander, Mushroom and 14 others like this.
  14. Amazing opening post. I hope this rate ends more happily than Thelma & Louise did!
    evilsin, Oleander, Remorque and 5 others like this.
  15. I'm only ten minutes into my scoring and I've already decided that limiting my 10s is maybe not such a good idea after all. Everything's so good.
    evilsin, myblood, londonrain and 4 others like this.
  16. MollieSwift21

    MollieSwift21 Moderator

    Will be doing this! Amazing opening post!
    send photo and ohnostalgia like this.
  17. [​IMG]

    OK at first glance I'd not hesitate giving a 10 to a good half of that list.
    Mr.Arroz, evilsin, Oleander and 7 others like this.
  18. [​IMG]

    Yass, iconic is the word!
    Mr.Arroz, evilsin, Jwentz and 11 others like this.
  19. I'm ready.

    DDD #prayforEllie
    Mr.Arroz, evilsin, Jwentz and 13 others like this.
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