**The X Factor Rate: JUDGES' WINNER **

Who's going to win?

  • Total voters
Your runner-up (just!)...

#2. Simon Cowell (8.1)


I get why people scored him high (he's essential to the show and it kinda feels wrong to be an X Factor fan without respecting what he's done over the years, even though he's a twat), but SECOND??


Highest score: 11 (@FrankOnline88)
Lowest score: 0 (@Filler)

Low scorer @Filler DRAGS HA - Well, he has to be my only 0 of the rate almost by default – because he's to some extent responsible for everything else I hate here. But let's talk specifically about him as a judge. The head judge, the one everyone else seems to take seriously. It's interesting that him being sporadically mean to people affords him some gravitas, that it makes acts really hang on his word at auditions even if the other judges have already approved them (granted, 99% of that is editing – dropping the music out just before he says "you've got 4 yeses" to make us think it matters – but some auditionees genuinely seem to think like this). There are people who think he's some kind of music authority. Of course, his criticism is utterly vacuous, never more meaningful than repetitive clichés about how women sound like cats getting run over, and it doesn't really matter how he articulates himself because his taste is grotesque anyway. There's nothing wrong with a tacky music taste, but I don't think he realises how tacky it is. This is a man who thinks Leona Lewis ballads are the apex of class. This is a man who probably regards Saddam Hussein as an aspirational figure for his gold-plated toilets. This is a man who undoubtedly would have voted for Donald Trump given half a chance. I hate him, I hate his show, and I hate that I'm so invested in his show that I'm participating in a rate of it right now.

@SuperNerd - He absolutely 'gets' pop music and understands what will sell, it's just a shame that he is too often willing to pander to the lowest common denominator tastes of the public rather than make the effort to push some of the more interesting, harder to sell acts.

@diamondliam - No longer the credible and bitingly honest judge that he used to be. He really should step down and let some fresh blood take his place on the panel.

@shadow2009 - Sometimes he spoke sense but most of the time he was just being manipulative to the public. Hard to know when he's being genuine or not.

@kermit_the_frog - The benchmark and mid-point - insincere to the point of nausea, by god I would have loved to see Pete Burns on this show with him.

@sfmartin - Commands attention and respect from the audience and viewer like no other really. When I was younger it felt like I never really knew whether an act was going to be safe or not until Simon gave his critique. I remember being so nervous for my faves before he spoke because he could literally make or break an act. I much preferred it when he was Brutally honest to all of the acts if they were shit (even his own) however now it seems he just slates others on so many irrelevant points often Brian Freedman / the way they dress, as well as replaying fake feuds among the judges. Sadly he (and the show) are fading into obscurity.

@K94 - So incredibly inconsistent and snakey. Hard to tell if he's good or just putting on a facade.

@GhettoPrincess - Queen of being mean, although his taste is very lacking sometimes.
Messsss. At least he didn't win.

Important Scherzy quote: "Good energy Christopher! Great energy with that performance, you tried something new. My only problem is because it's Motown right now and we switched things up, I am looking for... I am more of a Coco Pops girl who is drowning in full fat milk, OK? And you are kinda giving me vanilla, skimmed-free, skimmed milk on top of a cornflake, like a single cornflake. So why I'm saying that is that I want you, and I'm looking for soul, and I don't see much soul there."
Ladies and gentlemen, all bow for your queen (again)!

#1. Dannii Minogue (8.65)


Imma leave this to you lot, who've all said it much better than me, but Dannii's win is fully, richly deserved, even though she didn't get my 11. Thanks for all the iconic moments Dannii. Easily the best Minogue sister.

Highest score: 11 (@HollyDunnSomething, @kermit_the_frog, @diamondliam, @Leo1977, @idratherjack, @roborovsky, @Shockbox)
Lowest score: 5 (@Filler)

@Filler - She was right. Danyl shouldn't have changed the gender reference.

@sfmartin - So much integrity but often her acts were in direct competition with ones I loved and every time she criticised them I saw red. Questionable song choices as well.

@K94 - Good but overrated.

@pmas - She's badly missed.

@shadow2009 - Classy and underrated by the media and GP.

@kermit_the_frog - The pinnacle of this show, the drama, the feud with Cowell, the feud with Sharon, the feud with Louis, the sisterhood with Cheryl - never come back Dannii, never spoil the memories.

@diamondliam - Queen of the X Factor, her VTs and seemingly strong bonds win her contestants was endearing and she always offered a reasonably critique, mostly able to stay away from the usual superlatives that judges spit out.

@Shockbox - Best judge the show has ever had. BRING HER BACK.

@SuperNerd - Dannii always seemed like the judge who was there to appeal to us internet gays that watch this show, not in the slightly patronising 'funny catchphrases and giffable moments' way that Nicole does but in a more subtle way. She wanted what we wanted, she critiqued the way we would critique and could always see the funny side of the show.
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I loved Nicole in her first season. As much as I didn't like James and Jahmene, her chemistry with them was really convincing and she was game for anything. She was brilliant with Rylan too. In her second season everything seemed a bit forced and she didn't seem as invested in the girls (exactly the same thing happened with Tulisa). When she came back last year, I really couldn't stand her. That "vote for one of your own" comment in the final was pretty unforgivable for me. There's no way she should be higher than Cheryl who was great in all her seasons apart from the fourth one (I blame Lauren Platt for that).

I can see why Simon is high in a way as he's part of what makes the show so watchable. I've been watching the show to hate it for a number of years now (too much time spent on Sofabet) and he's the main reason why. The way he thinks he can influence the vote is so fascinating to me. Him managing to have big hits pushing One Direction and Leona on the show seem like flukes now. Let's not forget that this guy put all his hope in Danyl Johnson and Stereo Kicks as well. He genuinely thought they were going to be massive. As others have said, he seems to have a very dated attitude to music which is strange considering how successful he still is. I don't believe anything that comes out of his mouth now. Him and Louis still stand on that stage with their disposable acts saying, "this isn't the last you'll see of this singer". I do wonder if anyone is still convinced by him?

Danni deserves to win despite Leon Jackson. The most likeable judge who always seemed to understand great pop music and how to get the best out of her acts. Great work making the rightful winner here today. This isn't the last we've seen of her etc.
Simon easily deserved his place, the show is not the same without him.

I was maybe too harsh on Dannii, but after seeing what she did the last years in Australia, I couldn't rate her any higher.
Lawd there's so much revisionism on Dannii - she gave decent critique sometimes but she was never really a good mentor in terms of song choices and came across a bit cold.