Ultimate Gamejustice (#1) | Page 174 | The Popjustice Forum

Ultimate Gamejustice (#1)

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Animalia, Mar 1, 2018.

  1. = #276


    2004 | Adrenium Games | Various | Platformer

    14 Points: @2014


    I was obsessed with the books and then the Jim Carrey starring film came out and I was obsessed with it all over again; I actually preferred the video game though; it was amazing being each of the kids and using their particular different skills for each round, it was super clever - this kept me and my cousins amused for hours!


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    Last edited: Jul 15, 2018
  2. BTG


    Tardy to the party but the best Tomb Raider is TRII.

    It’s dated now and looking back, is very combat heavy which ultimately became a staple of the modern Tomb Raider but was such a leap in progress from its predecessor.

    More expansive levels, varied puzzles, and honestly, Lara changing into that wetsuit and diving into the water left me shook.

    Then I drowned at least a dozen times at the start of the next level because I couldn’t work out where to swim to.
  3. That Lemony Snicket game was so damn fun. I wish they had continued with the other books even though the (fantastic) movie never got a sequel.
    2014 and Animalia like this.
  4. #StraightLadsOfPopjustice
  5. Mamma mia, here we go again!
    The original soundtrack out now.
    It's not very good.
    Remorque, Empty Shoebox and Animalia like this.
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    = #276


    2005 | Nintendo | NDS | Sim

    14 Points: @KingBruno


    Nintendogs is a game that earns its status as a classic because it was groundbreaking at the time of its release – not did it only enlarge the gamers community for consoles and portables, it also demonstrated how “ultramodern” Nintendo had become.


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    Last edited: Jul 15, 2018
  7. When you have a lisp and your dumbass dog can't tell the difference between sit and spin so you have to teach it sit and "gluestick".

  8. ???

    LE0Night, Remorque, Oleander and 8 others like this.
  9. also not me abondaning my actual real life dog for a nintendogs chihuahua ddd.
  10. Tribal Spaceman

    Tribal Spaceman Oh, OK.

    This has been going on longer than Supernatural. I am impressed by your stamina @Animalia.
  11. 2014

    2014 Staff Member

    Another game of mine OUT?!?!!!

  12. Nintendogs is another one of those DS games that proved why the hardware's design choices were not just different, but fun. I was really mesmerized with the idea of talking to my dog and petting them with the touch screen--when touch screens still weren't really a mainstream thing. It probably ranks up there with my favorite DS games, if only because it's an experience I know I'll never have replicated again.

    And I don't even like dogs.
    Animalia and Inland Empire like this.
  13. Any excuse.

  15. Right, let's meet our final 14-pointer!


    = #276


    2000 | Nintendo | GBC | Platformer

    14 Points: @LE0Night



    Hi hello, welcome to my TED talk, where you'll be subject to the flagrant shilling of legends icons and platforming stars Wario Land 2 and 3 plus some extended waffling about how they're both two of the single most undeservedly unappreciated games of our time.

    Yeah, this is basically a two for one, criminally stringent list space forcing me to pick one over the other even though I love them both equally (*earlier that day* 3 is the more accomplished of the two, really), I'll tell you right now, if anyone has gone and fixed up another Wario appearance after this h2g illysm.


    But anyway. Despite having been left in the dust somewhat in recent years, there was once a time where Wario had a near equal standing in Nintendo's whole stable of platforming dungaree-wearing mustache fiends. One of his more distinctive and endearing qualities compared to his peers (compeered?) being his cathartically direct approach to hazard navigation, none of that namby-pamby jumping around shit, if there was something in your general vicinity you didn't particularly care for you were free to make your stance explicitly clear through the expressive magic of body language.


    Yes, children, Wario was a progressive icon, not just through his carefree body positive attitude (or having one of gaming's few female main villains), he was also literally ahead of his time; a whole decade before games like Rayman Origins and Super Meat Boy made it clear just how much more smooth and fun things get when you can try again immediately after cocking things up, Wario Land had already realized that the whole concept of "lives" was nothing but a bunch of playtime-stretching bullshit. Only took Mario fucking 20 years to catch on, the dozy cunt. Taking the bold step of making you almost completely invincible, Wario Land 2 and 3 instead revolved their platform challenges around neatly Rube-Goldberging their levels in such a way that if you slipped up, you’d be swiftly escorted back to the beginning of the section for another go instead of cutting to black and reloading every time you dropped ass first onto the business end of a spike.


    I've occasionally had some trouble plugging the games because of that last bit, honestly, as seen above it usually leads to a 4-5 second sequence of having to watch your failures visibly set you back to square one and evidence suggest the experience doesn’t gel particularly well with the more high-tempered gentlemen pfffff.

    But man-children aside, it’s just really cleverly organic design, not artificially padding out the time you spend getting from A to B by making you start completely over every time you fail an arbitrary number of times.

    For reasons unknown, the sequels decided to switch things back to literal basics and turned Wario into a regular mortal again, and while 4 and Shake It were generally cute girls, the less said about subsequent ventures that weren’t WarioWare, the better. (#notmywario)

    Wario Land 3 in particular also distinguished itself by ditching standard level progression and branching out into a pseudo-Metroidvania (buy Hollow Knight on the éShoppe) style; instead of just having one goal post, every level had several treasures hidden in different directions, each one you collected either influencing or directly expanding your world in some fashion. A key opens a door, a flute makes a bunch of gargantuan snakes appear everywhere, a spell turns the ocean into ice, a drop of blood summons a whole gaggle of zombies and so on. Just about everything you accomplish affects the world somehow, creating this lovely addictiveencouraging sense of constant progress where the inherent reward of playing is just getting to see what on earth is gonna happen next.


    The developers going the extra mile of implementing a whole day-night mechanic was just the cherry on top, making two whole distinct looks, layouts and soundtracks per level for each part of the day, honestly, the dedication.

    But, when your man has been rendered almost completely indestructible, the playing field had to be leveled out a bit somehow so things wouldn't get entirely too easy, which brings us to the other half of Miss Wario's key repertoire; one of his main advantages over the rest of the girlies is that he's also a versatile legend, being so profoundly adaptive there'd almost always be something in his immediate environment that would make him bodily react in some type of way. Sometimes it'd be a boon you need to bust through somewhere, sometimes it was just another way to send you packing right back to start. Occasionally both.


    The electrocution animation just leaving him standing there in a drooling stupor for a hot second is my favourite, I think. Special mention goes to the one where he instantly gains 200 extra pounds just by being in the vicinity of a piece of cake or a donut. Something something relatable something.


    These also lead to a wee incident where a whole transformation had to be hastily rebranded into something a bit less scandalous for non-Japanese youngsters; instead of being forcibly rendered drunk by a naughty penguin, Wario gets concussed into “dizziness” by way of a whole bowling ball to the skull. Because as we all know a cranial fracture and traumatic brain damage is more wholesome than a wee bit of alkyholle. No attempt was made to explain exactly how a scalp-pounding would turn your main attack into a rancid flesh-melting belch but oh well.


    Honestly, it was a bit needless, the kids would've gotten it. Yes children pappa is out cold on the floor in a puddle because he’s dizzy, that’s it, he’ll be fine in the morning. Or not, who cares.

    Did we mention that you after you knock the final boss off its ass you get an entire game’s worth of post game material? Literally whole levels you don’t even see a hair of before you’ve finished the main campaign?
    Or how the credit sequences (and the game in general, too) features some of the most lethally catchy melodies this side of DuckTales (doo-doo-doooo)?

    The switchup solo remix key-change acrobatics of 2′s last bars always send me. “Ye try whistling along to that, bitch”.

    And a slight tangent but just in case the rate fails to keep up the Wario representation, this modern-day Addams Family fantasy not catching some kind of appreciation in here would be a straight-up crime.

    "Who's the girl next door living in the haunted mansion?" "Better learn my name cause I am AAAA-AAASH-LEEEEEY"


    But really, one of my favourite parts about the whole thing is that it's all just so lovingly rendered. As seen above, Wario himself in particular has been given a load of animations that serves nothing besides his charm.


    Mario Land and its three pixel tall sprites can't relate. Everything from the level aesthetics to enemy design have all been attentively made with this random weirdness that still somehow manages to blend into a charming and cohesive package, seriously, almost no creature in these games even remotely resembles any kind of real life fauna whatsoever.

    Though the one aspect of the whole presentation that boggles my mind to this day is that somewhere, someone on the dev team decided to take the extra care necessary to create a whole unique animation dedicated to making his fucking ass jiggle back and forth.


    OG thick booty bih of gaming coming through, yas, Solid Snek hewmst, lemme see that Warussy.


    Yes I have been known to revel in the horrified despair and disgust of my fellow man on occasion why do you ask.


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  16. [​IMG]

    Fire Emblem Fates (Number, Jonathan27)

    - - -

    A Series of Unfortunate Events (2014)
    Bloody Roar 2 (BEST FICTION)
    Bubble Shooter (Sprockrooster)
    Dead or Alive 3 (nikkysan)
    Lumines 2 (Filler)
    Maniac Mansion (DominoDancing)
    Neighbours From Hell (Dangerous Maknae)
    Nintendogs (KingBruno)
    Wario Land 3 (LE0Night)

    There's one game sitting at 14.4 points that'll be up after I've eaten etc. so I'll add that here after too.
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2018
  17. Wait at this Wario Land 3 dissertation. A first for you!


    Wario Land 4 is where it’s at x
  18. @LE0Night i'm not kidding when i say come to florida.
  19. 2014

    2014 Staff Member

    wow you weren't kidding
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