Did you watch the incredible Max Martin rate and wish, with a heavy sigh, that you had gotten to be a part of it? Did you hold back because it just had too many fucking songs and you wanted a lower number, like, say, 62? Did you think that it would be MONTHS before you got to take part in another Vanderrate? And did you cry, cry, cry in your lonely heart?
WELL. Dry those fucking tears, because there's no need for them now, kids. We are about to rate the US #1s of this decade (so far). Sixty-two songs that I just know you all have opinions on. And we don't send a bunch of random-ass house tracks to the top of the charts over here. Nosirreebobtail, it's strictly smashes for us Americans. This rate has everything: Australian igloos, funky midgets with grenades, professional Sia impersonators, seated chanteuses, snot-nosed S&M, nude construction workers, Voldemort lookalikes...it is not to be missed.
I toyed with multiple ideas: gezza76's iconic 'one 11', or perhaps only allowing one ten, or one zero, or making all my scores count quintuple. In the end, I'm leaving it the usual way: PM me your scores in the alphabetical order in which I have them posted, for the love of God on a scale of 0-10. Half-points are allowed, but no decimals other than that. Please also send commentary if you'd like! We all know I love commentary (this is not sarcasm). No need to keep a special focus on the production this time around - just go to fuckin' town. I'm sure you all have LOTS of feelings on these tracks.
On February 4th, voting will close and I will start making cuts.
Time to get a little more personal (raw): Speaking of cuts, I am having surgery in a couple of weeks, which is why I asked to run a rate and RainOnFire graciously agreed. I'll be hanging around my house a LOT for the days following and it'd be nice to have a rate to occupy a little more of my time. That's the reason for the quick turnaround in voting, but also be aware that I may be a little groggy in the days immediately following surgery and may not be as present on the boards as usual. OR, I could be wide awake and stuck in bed while mildly coherent, PopJusticing til my fingertips bleed. It remains to be seen.
What's that? The song list? Oh, right. I eventually decided to alphabetize it, although I thought about posting it chronologically, but I felt like each song stood better on its own when it was mixed in, rather than being slotted with other songs of its period.
Tragically, this also put All About That Bass first, and for that I apologize.
Links are included in case your residence is located deep in a cave somewhere and you've never heard these songs before. I also did my best to cut out some of those long-ass intros, since we aren't rating music videos here, just the songs.
SONG LIST: (Rate on a scale of 0-10, PM scores to me in alphabetical order)
1. All About That Bass - Meghan Trainor
2. All Of Me - John Legend
3. Black and Yellow - Wiz Khalifa
4. Blank Space – Taylor Swift
5. Blurred Lines - Robin Thicke (ft. T.I. and Pharrell)
6. Born This Way - Lady Gaga
7. Break Your Heart - Taio Cruz (ft. Ludacris)
8. California Gurls - Katy Perry (ft. Snoop Dogg)
9. Call Me Maybe - Carly Rae Jepsen
10. Can’t Hold Us - Macklemore and Ryan Lewis (ft. Ray Dalton)
11. Dark Horse - Katy Perry (ft. Juicy J)
12. Diamonds - Rihanna
13. E.T. - Katy Perry (ft. Kanye West)
14. Fancy - Iggy Azalea (ft. Charli XCX)
15. Firework - Katy Perry
16. Give Me Everything - Pitbull (ft. Ne-Yo, Afrojack and Nayer)
17. Grenade - Bruno Mars
18. Happy - Pharrell Williams
19. Harlem Shake - Baauer
20. Hold It Against Me - Britney Spears
21. Imma Be – Black Eyed Peas
22. Just Give Me a Reason - Pink (ft. Nate Ruess)
23. Just the Way You Are - Bruno Mars
24. Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.) - Katy Perry
25. Like A G6 - Far East Movement (ft. The Cataracs and Dev)
26. Locked Out Of Heaven - Bruno Mars
27. Love the Way You Lie - Eminem (ft. Rihanna)
28. Moves Like Jagger - Maroon 5 (ft. Christina Aguilera)
29. Not Afraid - Eminem
30. Nothin’ On You - B.o.B (ft. Bruno Mars)
31. OMG - Usher (ft. will.i.am)
32. One More Night - Maroon 5
33. Only Girl (In The World) - Rihanna
34. Part Of Me - Katy Perry
35. Party Rock Anthem - LMFAO (ft. Lauren Bennett and GoonRock)
36. Raise Your Glass - Pink
37. Roar - Katy Perry
38. Rolling In the Deep - Adele
39. Royals - Lorde
40. Rude - MAGIC!
41. Rude Boy - Rihanna
42. S&M - Rihanna (ft. Britney Spears)
43. Set Fire to the Rain - Adele
44. Sexy and I Know It - LMFAO
45. Shake It Off - Taylor Swift
46. Somebody That I Used to Know - Gotye (ft. Kimbra)
47. Someone Like You - Adele
48. Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You) - Kelly Clarkson
49. Teenage Dream - Katy Perry
50. The Monster - Eminem (ft. Rihanna)
51. Thrift Shop - Macklemore and Ryan Lewis (ft. Wanz)
52. TiK ToK – Ke$ha
53. Timber - Pitbull (ft. Ke$ha)
54. Uptown Funk! – Mark Ronson (ft. Bruno Mars)
55. We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together - Taylor Swift
56. We Are Young - fun. (ft. Janelle Monáe)
57. We Found Love - Rihanna (ft. Calvin Harris)
58. We R Who We R - Kesha
59. What’s My Name? - Rihanna (ft. Drake)
60. When I Was Your Man - Bruno Mars
61. Whistle - Flo Rida
62. Wrecking Ball - Miley Cyrus
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