Discussion in 'K-pop' started by Squashua, Aug 24, 2016.
Good riddance, that song should have been nowhere near the top 10.
I'd rank it below Mask and Marionette. Surprised it made it this far.
Go on I'm Ill. Stayed much later than I thought it would.
I didn't get a chance to vote in this so I can't really say shit but how in the hell is I'm Ill still in here above soooooooooo many other better songs. It isn't even the best song on its album...
Because I'm Ill is that basic slut bop and it KNOCKS.
THE BLACK SHEEP OF THE TAWP TEN
INTO AN ELIMINATED
Average Score: 9.23
Heat 6 Placement: 1st (av. 3.72)
10 - @Squashua @D is for Danger! @Reboot @ajmkv @ryan_riot92 @Mikl C
7 - @GeiPanda
7.25 - @Slice of Life
Think of the moment when a friend/sibling/that dude you were hooking up with via Grindr pinged you a message saying "Lol watch this" only to be led down a mind-numbing rabbit hole called Harlem Shake. As viral as herpes, the Harlem Shake defined 2013 as people globally spasmed their way to a brief 30 seconds of public adulation only to be forgotten about six months later. Wouldn't it have been nice if the Shake could have been good ol' fashioned pusswah-poppin' good rather than evil?
It took until JULY 2015.
But it came (for Korean blokes, literally kii)
We were saved thanks to the transcendent immortal words:
WHAT a stone-cold godzilla-destroying-tokyo sized scalp shredding JAAAAAAAM.
Praise be-eth the Hoe-ly Trinity.
Okay okay i'll stop now but come onI_CANNOT_USE_REAL_WORDS_PROPERLY. Don't tell me you haven't blared this from your speakers at full blast for the intro and been well & truly shook when the beat drops. If you thought Wiggle Wiggle went hard this goes sledgehammer demolition style. If you thought Wiggle Wiggle was trashy, this is a skip of knock-off athletics brand clothing in an Essex marketplace. If we were judging this competition on an Ivor Novello standard of musical composition then I'm Ill probably wouldn't even be nominated. However, what it lacks in serious artiste merit, it more than makes up for in a plentiful supply of BALLS. Unashamedly garish, mega-bop party-reviving BALLS.
Expectations were not high. The budget was slipping ever since Sticky Sticky somewhat bombed and didn't look good when Wiggle Wiggle's cage-match confetti butt-cannon 19+ rated mv eventually saw the light of day. Then they unleashed the rainbow-vomit haired emo groupie party girl concept photos and all hopes seemed dashed into a thousand sequins.
The rave sirens fire off all around you with desperate urgency, the girls keep hollering a Korean phrase no one really knew how to translate correctly (and how they settled on I'm Ill as an English title I have zero clue) and when the verse finally does arrive post-whooping, oohing, ay-YO-ay-YO ing and blaring beats, you're assaulted with all manner of synthy stab-wounds, tongue-rolling vocal delivery and general confusion of where you've been thrown into. The "performance video" doesn't really help matters of vertigo by throwing 360 degree camera panning at you, laser searchlights and a whole lot of fast cuts forward back side to side to close to up that body roll section. Those with motion sickness might want to bring a barf bag... It's a mess truthfully but a bold, unflinchingly aggressive one.
Lyrical highlights? All of it. Essentially this is the Narcissist's Anthem of choice (or the TAWP GURL Jam depending on if you're a glass half full or half empty kinda gal) and every line is filled with egocentric hilarity. My personal favourite section for everything that is good and right about this song is absolutely the Yooyoung/Lime tag-team pre-chorus where shit. kicks. AWF.
Now I think Yooyoung is considered one of the "visuals" (they all are let's be real) and not known for her vocal prowess but she nails her two lines here with such devilish glee. I honestly thought the end of her lines were "...oh land hey oh LASSO!" / "...Oh man hey my LASSO!" in some kind of country gurl hoedown when really it's translated as the ultra-sassy -
"Everyone tells me i'm getting prettier and prettier /
Well i'm pretty from the beginning - don't you know?"
Of course girl of course. Lime dishes in with her "... tangle tangle / ... sandal sandal" lines complete with spirit finger wiggle move and all hell breaks loose with the spiralling video game plings and pings. It's bonkers, its nuts, its obnoxious and its amazing. Period. Even when I wear this song down on back-to-back plays (which is easy to do because the end is basically the start - give me that Dante's seven circles of eternal BAWP-nation Hello Venus), I find I come back to it on shuffle a week later and it knocks me out once again. I hope to Buddha himself that they'll forgo toss like Paradise from this year and go back to barn-storming trashy bangers, especially because we're not getting that from T-ara anymore.
Your commentaries enact a full night on the tiles in the most perfect way. Well done all.
Hosting for pre-drinks and choosing outfits @GeiPanda is our friend: "Ok - I can understand the love for this. A total bop. Probably the most “bop-ish” out of all the songs in this rate. But underneath it’s bussy-elevating backing track, the song IS really basic. There’s not even a middle-8 if I remember correctly, or even much of a chorus? Still, a total getting-ready-to-go-out song." Who brought extras? @ThighHighs got a lil summin summin if you're nasty: "If you want poppers-o'clock, you got it! This would be my go-to song if I did a lot more cocaine." You do you gurl, I can only imagine what that trip would be like...
Now all my PJ sub-unit unnies are arriving at the club, chilling at the bar like untouchables goddesses and @roux gets us going with a round of shots shots shots: "This. Goes. OFF! Even though it does slightly resemble the Harlem Shake." Harlem who? NAN YESURIYAAAA. I can't hear you over the loudspeakers and my own hollering. @ajmkv is the DJ of my dreams, lay it down for my boiiii : "The club version is superior, btw. But this is still a damn amazing bop. I would give it a 10 but I've given so many already… oh fuck it, I'm giving it a 10."
Would that be this monstrous beast?
Or maybe you're in the mood for something a lil more...
And with any monster night out we all stumble home, some with someone most of us probs alone kii and wake up with the hangover from the underworld. Look's like @Slice of Life got the worst of it: "Apparently, I only ranked this 12th on the Heats which meant that I found this rather middle-of-the-road. What was I thinking? This is a bop and a half. Oh maybe not quite. It is a bop but it’s so beyond basic, it’s not even funny. I’ve heard T-ara do this sound more effectively. The verses are really great which led to a disappointing non-chorus. Look, maybe in a club setting, I would appreciate this more. That chorus/non-chorus is perfect for slut drops and all but outside of the club? It’s just another song to skip."
Thank goodness for @ryan_riot92 to pull me out of the wreckage and remind me of all the K-Pop dance routines he pulled out on the dancefloor last night: "They just keep pumping out JAM after JAM!! That is until this year where their releases are not even worth mentioning. This whole mini album is fantastic too. Every track could have been the lead single to be honest! It’s like a trashy party smash of a tune!"
Oh @D is for Danger! are we going out again tonight? Sell it to me: "My favourite of the slut jam trinity, this was EDM in its purest form. The production on this was top notch. Pedal to the metal fast with no time to catch your breath. The "spiraly/mad house" synths during Yooyoung & Lime's rap sections really made it feel like you were spinning out of control on the dance floor. Yooyoung stole the show for me in this one. She paired really well with Lime for the rap sections. She was bratty and cool. I also liked her yappy-dog like "eh-ohs" during that middle eastern sounding dance break. The girls looked good with the rainbow shrimp colour highlights in their hair."
Yup. It's another night filled with the hello Penus for y'all.
I somehow managed to write the 10000 characters limit on bloody I'm Ill of all the jams (THE MESS) so I had to cut a lot of the gifs. Don't fret Tawp Gurrls, here's a collection you missed out on:
You're welcome <3
I said this once in Korea when I was feeling sick and it really does not mean I'm Ill. They got it when I started thrusting my pussy aggressively tho
Like with a lot of other songs in this rate, my 10 for Sting is mostly based on that simple but amazing video. It's a fantastic song, but I don't mind it leaving.
FIVE GROUPS, SIX SONGS LEFT
WE'RE WAVING ANOTHER BAND GOODBYE
Average Score: 9.25
Heat 3 Placement: 1st (av. 5.36)
10 - @Squashua @D is for Danger! @Slice of Life @roux @ajmkv @ryan_riot92 @ThighHighs
7 - @GeiPanda @Reboot
7.75 - @vikeyeol
Woah, it's a complete Muse blackout and before we've even reached the top 5! Considering how they completely dominated, commanded, nay RULED their heat and whipped the poor Dal*Shabet ladies into submission it seems like some form of karmic flop-tribution that Someone Like U / B.B.B have managed to outlast all those Muses that ranked higher. Wild, in both heat and in the final, has punished its 9M cousins and stood a stiletto heel into the first place Muse song podium. The second highest number of tens in the competition at 7 (over half the field) but a scattering of sub-8s have just about knocked it out of the race prematurely. I was sure this was going to be top 3 if not challenge for the win so this is a bit of an upset.
Where to begin? We've spent a lot of time bopping around 2013 with the ladies of Star Entertainment and this is our final destination. Sandwiched between the laid-back, NYC rom-com jazz of Dolls and the honky-tonk wasteland of Gun, Wild sets its sights on a more European style. If it were an Olympic athlete it would be tackling the Decathlon, Heptathlon and the marathon because it has NO chill. It would win gold in bursting out of the gates, long-distance endurance at keeping up the same pace and also jumping over Korean societal hurdles. It throws weights, javelins, discus, shots, choreo, lesbianism ~ everything you could ever want.
Ready to feel the rush?
The commentaries for this one kind of used all the adjectives I was going to use so let me get first. How would you describe Wild?
Exhilarating / Blistering
Fierce / Explosive
Provocative / Dangerous
From the first second it sets the pace at drag-racing Ferrari 180mph alongside a tauntingly sweet piano refrain and refuses to let go of its grip around your neck. This is music for the modern femme fatale, the black widow, the ride-or-die main ho. In a wave of monochrome with blood red accents all over the place, verses twinkle with promise until Kyungri lets rip in the chorus, the industrial machinery sounds whirr noisily around your ears and you're hoping for a little breather.
I always end up having to do back to back plays of Wild because, despite its standard 3 minute running time, it feels like it only takes the length of a Thorpe Park thrill ride to burn the throttle and throw you off the edge of the cliff. The perfect example of Euaerin's phenomenally accomplished rap prowess are right here all up in your face as she punctures into the slightly less intense verses completely unannounced, bringing a 10000% more urgency to the euro-dance in a berlin dungeon vibe. Eunji also proves herself to be the Robin to Erin's Unpretty Rapman with an equally impressive AK47 bullet-spitting rap in the song's second half. Aside from the grittier bits, the final key changes after a quick middle-8 lull are LIFE-EDITING. If you weren't converted to the way of the Muse before this song you bloody well should be.
Talking of dungeons, the video shouldn't be ignored. There's fetish wear everywhere, the girls are dancing in the company's dungeon strip-joint and Kyungri is dancing on the same stairwell from the I'm Ill video (although obviously in a more convincingly sexy fashion). Red is the colour of this season from roses and panties to guns, rope, lips kissing razor blades and... industrial floatation devices? For the watersports fans more than likely. It's a classy visual, a sexual visual and a homoerotic one for all you imaging what the Muses get up to in their downtime...
KISS TO THRILL, SHOOT TO KILL
This is the Muses at their most powerful, their most fiercely independent and at the pinnacle of their best line-up - nine hot, sassy women who worked so much better together with their individual skills than the original No Playboy roster. Watching the lives from their debut to hear it is startling to see the growth. GODAMN KOREA at not recognising how bloody good they are. They deserve to be up with the 2NE1s, 4MINUTEs and GGs of this world let's be real.
How did our commentators send off the infamous Muses' on their almost-victory lap? Well @GeiPanda forgoes his usual sass for a nostalgic round of applause: "It has lost it’s appeal over the years, but the raps are still a godsend!" One of the best girl-group raps in K-Pop no joke. @roux keeps it short and sweet: "One of their best. I'm running out of things to say about most of the 9muses songs in this rate. We all know how good they are." Don't worry, these voters have your word count covered believe me. @ryan_riot92 has got lists and everything: "Everything about this track is amazing! The build ups to the chorus, the spit-fire raps, the sultry visuals … impeccable! My second favorite track of theirs from 2013."
@ThighHighs abstains from giving this the only 11 it would have had for the sake of Sassy Tawp gurrlss everywhere: "One of Nine Muse’s best, and probably one of the best kpop songs ever. It is up there with getting my 11 but my attachment to High Heels is too great (#RIPHighHeelsGoneTooSoon since I’m sure it will be gone by this point in the rate). The rap verses in this are fiyahh and the chorus is BONKERS amazing."
Long paragraphs, how bout that? @Slice of Life is trying to rig the scoresheet but I see you cyst (not that i'd be against it): "10 points for Kyungri’s thighs. Another 10 points for Leesem’s boob party. And 10 more points for Hyuna’s everything. And finally, 10 points for Sera’s iconic “Pervert” shirt. Oh wait, you’re telling me can’t give a score of more than 10 points? Fix it @Popjustice N N N N. This is another winner for the girls of Star Empire (or at least some of them...). That piercing production starts at 100 at stays there for God knows how long. My favourite parts are the rap sections provided by Euaerin and Eunji. YASSSSS machine-guy me with Korean words that I’ll never understand as I slut drop to the beat, Kweens!" Slut-dropping is so much better backed by aggressive misunderstanding. At least you got the most important word...
Speaking of those with the ever-so-slightly more leering looks, my favourite Asian-booty-appreciator @D is for Danger! doesn't miss a trick: "This song starts running out of the gates and doesn't let up. There isn't a single moment where the song slows down to let you catch your breath. It's strong, sexy and mature. Just as it should be. They're adult women after all! It's not cutesy, gimmicky or pandering to anyone. The MV is loaded with gratuitous boob shots (Thanks Lee Sem!), legs and enough bondage to suit anyone's kinks. You can't forget Sera's iconic Pervert t-shirt either. This should have been their breakthrough hit!"
As with basically every Muses song so far , @ajmkv has drafted his final inauguration speech and I can now reveal his place as the President of the Muse-Stan-Society: "YESSSSSSS, I love this song. It started my love for Nine Muses and is another of my contenders for the 11. Honestly every Nine Muses song left here received a 10 from me (spoiler?) but this was the one that started it all, my whole story with them. I remember that the teasers came out, and after having enjoyed Dolls just once (that changed later), I was sufficiently interested. However, this came out and I was shook. Honestly, I hadn't had such a strong reaction to a new song for a long time, and I proceeded to play this thousands (literally) of times. The raps in this song are just 100% great, and the key change for the final chorus is such a moment. The video, ughhhhhhhhhh, yes. My girls (and the best ever possible combination of members in Nine Muses, sorry Keumdrop and Sojin) all look 11/10 perfect. Leesem especially, ughhhhhhhh, she wanted me to join the Straight Lads of PJ for a hot second there. I digress. What a fantastic song, video, and era in general. I miss Nine Muses."
Damn I didn't even know who Lee Sem was before this rate -
is she just the group's designated lady-lumps-visual?
FILTHY. SMOKING. WILD.
Pulling for darshabet to snatch this with an above 10 average.
OH WOW WHAT KIND OF REVERSAL. Dalegend Dal Shabet is killing it and they have yet to lose a song in this round. Amazing.
I feel like it's gonna be a Someone Like U vs Closer finale. And frankly, I would be okay with that.
We should tweet queen Serri when she wins.
Wild is good, but the video ruins it for me.
Someone Like U and some other songs that should never finish above it.
Is it too straight for you? Too scandalous for your ahjumma sensibilities? The MV is probably one of their best. For all that Star Empire is shit, the girls were always looking top notch. Even with a limited budget.
Someone Like U, Vibrato, Closer, BBB, Mach are all that's left.
Separate names with a comma.