You are released - The Agnes Discography Rate (Finished)

Empty Shoebox

Empty Shoebox

she/her
So next up is not an extra.




It's not a cover





Nor is it misandry.





That only leaves...





...a ballad.

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(What Do I Do With) All This Love
Average: 5.26

High scores: 10 x 1 (@berserkboi), 9.5 x 1 (@Sprockrooster)
Low scores: 2 x 2 (@danmharrow, @Verandi)

Chart positions: N/A

Stronger takes its next hit here, but despite what you see above, this song wasn't very divisive. Most of the scores were in the 5-6 range. I can tell because I have coloured in the cells on the spreadsheet.

Not too much to say here for an album track which, to be diplomatic, sounds very familiar. It's exactly the kind of song you would expect to find on the album of an Idol winner, but at least Agnes is a decent vocalist.

In other news, I told you Elofsson would turn up again, didn't I? He also worked with Agnetha Fältskog on her 2013 album 'A'. If I need to tell you who Agnetha Fältskog is, then I have no idea what to say.

'A' reached #2 on the album chart, held off the number one spot by Gyllene Tider. Eurgh. I blame Gary Barlow. Barlow's duet from this album actually charted in the UK, so I should post that here, but it's Gary Barlow, so I won't.

Instead, let's have 'I Keep Them on the Floor Beside My Bed', which she co-wrote.

No, it's not the most boppy, but WHO CARES.

Anyway, to "Viewer's Thoughts" or whatever SVT's equivalent of Points of View is.

@londonrain has a suggestion:
'I don’t know, Agnes. Knit a sweater?' - 6.0

@DJHazey was a little bit more explanatory:
'The first chorus and onward really save it from being a complete snoozefest, but ultimately still inconsequential.' - 5.0

@danmharrow doesn't agree with my assessment, and has another comparison:
'The title is good, but the song itself is like an end credits Disney song from a straight to VHS sequel.' - 2.0

@abael isn't happy with big Jörgen (I have no idea how big he is):
'What you should have done is leverage that excess love into hiring some better songwriters. Just stupidity.' - 4.0

But don't go breaking @berserkboi's heart everyone:
"I’d never dream my biggest scores on an Agnes album would be ballads but this is heart wrenching gorgeousness!" - 10.0

And that's your lot. There should be an interesting video here, but I couldn't find one. There was one with some Final Fantasy visuals, but @soratami didn't vote, so I'm not posting it.

​
 
WowWowWowWow

WowWowWowWow

he/him
DJHazey said:
It's like we're going into the albums and hand-picking the worst and doing it so well, now there's a couple of songs from the debut that should go next.
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K.

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Let Me Carry You
Average score: 5.33
High score: 8.1 x 1 (@berserkboi), 8 x 1 (@Me)
Low score: 1 x 1 (@Hurricane Drunk)

Thursday, July 11.
My phone dinged with a WhatsApp notification.
It was a message from @Charley.

“Who knew Agnes covered an H&Claire album track?”

Ummmmmm... Not me, until that very moment!



@tylerc904 (7.5) already knew though: “As one of the few people on earth that adore the H & Claire album, I would genuinely have preferred Miss Agnes scoop up any other track. Nothing At All or No Turning Back sung by Agnes? Wig. I do think the Agnes take is stronger than H & Claire’s.”

@iheartpoptarts (3) accurately placed the song in the pantheon of schlock where it belongs: “This sounds so Westlife but I looked it up and apparently it’s H & Claire.”

@danmharrow (4.5) was willing to give it a chance, but…: “I have a weakness for ridiculously cheesy lyrics, but the chorus is nah.”



Speaking of food and beverage comparisons, @DJHazey (6) spills it: “Not really my cup of tea, but points for her vocal highlights.”

High scorer @berserkboi (8.1) is still tepid: “Nice, which means weaker than the rest of the album, sadly!”

We close with @abael (4): “Below standards in all aspects a song can be.” A ringing endorsement if I ever heard one.​
 
WowWowWowWow

WowWowWowWow

he/him
And now, a reading from the book of @Empty Shoebox:​

Let’s return to an old friend...










..of course, it’s the extras section.











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Hanna Från Arlöv
Average: 5.44
High scores: 10 x 1 (@berserkboi), 9.5 x 1 (@Sprockrooster)
Low scores: 2 x 2 (@danmharrow, @Verandi)

Chart positions: N/A

Now Så Mycket Bättre becomes Så Mycket Mindre as one of the six drops. In a rare occurrence, publiken agree with the forum folks, as Hanna was one of only two Smb songs that didn’t chart. Find out what the other is #soon.

I don’t know who Hanna is / was, but Arlöv is a small town just outside Malmö kommun, known for its industry, including train building. This song is allegedly about worker’s rights, and the effectiveness of collective bargaining. Sydsvenskan did some digging in the 1990s, and found that the whole thing was completely made up.

Anyway, Nationalteatern released the song in 1974. I don’t see any record of it charting, but that’s not so important. Anyway, Ulf Dageby was a member of Nationalteatern, and wrote the song. He also appeared on 2013’s Så Mycket Bättre, which is where our connection to Ms. Carlsson comes in.

To sum up what the song means to the people of Skåne, in 2011, when naming the new X61 Pendeltåg, ’Hanna Från Arlöv’ was chosen as a train name. I don’t know if Jenny Silver has ever driven it. Here’s the original song:



So what does everyone think of TV4?

@berserkboi keeps it simple:
‘Pleasant enough’ - 9.1

@DJHazey also goes for ‘simple but effective’:
‘Not Agnes now pulling out a folk song. I’ll pass.’ - 5

@abael wasn’t impressed either:
“It has to be some sort of soundtrack to something, it’s simply not interesting enough to pull focus and actually notice the song.” - 4.0

@londonrain demands to see the script:
“This must be circling the drain, surely? It’s not BAD, but there’s nothing especially to love either (unless the lyrics are beautiful and I’m missing that).” - 5.0

and @danmharrow finishes our little circle of ‘meh’
“It’s nice, but the ‘Celtic influences’ are always a bit of a turn off for me” - 5.5


​
 
WowWowWowWow

WowWowWowWow

he/him
~Interlude~

Over on Ultimate Popstar, @DJHazey just revealed that The Sound of Arrows is @Untouchable Ace’s 4th favorite act of all time.

Yes, that would be the same The Sound of Arrows whose co-member once said THIS on Popjustice about Our Agnes!!!

stefanstorm said:
This girl is beyond boring. Gives vanilla flavor a face.
I'm actually amazed she's lasted this long. The powers that be decided to bless her with one undeservedly good song, they have now deserted her.
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WowWowWowWow

WowWowWowWow

he/him
If you are a fan of Extras...




























...then you’ll like this cut.

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I Believe
Average score: 5.64
High score: 9.9 x 1 (@berserkboi)
Low score: 1 x 1 (@CasuallyCrazed)

Another loss for the eponymous album. As you can see, Agnes’ partner Vincent was one of the co-writers on this song (awwwwww), along with Aldo Nova and Richie Jones. Six years before Agnes was born, Aldo reached the top 20 in Canada and the top 25 in the USA with the song “Fantasy”:



I have no recollection of this song. But I definitely remember another song that Aldo Nova co-wrote:



Bliss.

@Verandi (2) gave us arguably one of my favorite commentaries of all time: “I don’t.” I legit snorted out loud when I read it. Thank you @Verandi.

@iheartpoptarts (4) cracked the case: “Obviously included to please the people who bought the album off the back of the Idol song, who might otherwise be like, ‘Help, there are too many pop bops on this.’” Who are these people because they can’t sit with us.

@danmharrow (4.5) is treading in dangerous territory: “The tinny piano gives way to a good Christmas 2000s vibe but it doesn’t keep me interested.”

@DJHazey (6) was looking for a moment not quite like this: “Could have possibly been something I’d love if it were made into a bigger moment.” So you might not call it a perfect moment, then?

@abael (7) is waving the white flag: “I hate how much I enjoy this track. It’s saccharine silliness, but the production behind it hits the right notes. I can’t dislike it.”

High scorer @berserkboi (9.9) (I know, right?) (jk jk) calls us back to elimination #1: “Very Mariah Carey, in a good way! I may have stanned this album if I heard it back in the day!” But you didn’t, and now it has been almost 14 years since it was released, all that time you missed out. Sad!​
 
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