You are released - The Agnes Discography Rate (Finished)

WowWowWowWow

WowWowWowWow

he/him
iheartpoptarts said:
We are not gonna torpedo 'Secret Love', absolutely not.
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We’re not?















































OK. “Secret Love” is safe for today.

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My Boy
Average score: 6.21
High score: 9.6 x 1 (@berserkboi)
Low score: 2.5 x 2 (@CasuallyCrazed, @Lost Boy)

Clearly, “My Boy” did not appeal to Our Boy @Lost Boy, who is one of our two lowest scorers.

Unfortunately, the album tracks don’t lend themselves well to extensive commentary, and we already talked about My Boy during elimination #64, so I don’t know what else to add here.

Prepare yourself for a rate first in @DJHazey’s commentary.
“Weird, but the instrumentals remind me of The Clash’s ‘Armagideon Time’ for some reason, but sadly not nearly as catchy. That or something on Tove Styrke’s Kiddo. At least it gets my head bobbing a bitsy.” - 7.0
(If anyone else can find a way to work The Clash into their commentary for the remaining songs, I will be deeply grateful.)

But on the topic of people working artists into their commentary on other acts, @berserkboi … somehow slights Susumu??
“Reggae-tinged pop making me think we are reaching Dalida level versatility!” - 9.6
(Oh come now. As if that would even be possible.)

And @Untouchable Ace warns us to think ahead about whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do when they come for you.
“Too ‘Bad Boys.’” - 5.2

@abael has a direct assessment.
“Marginally better than half the album, but the production again is just muddled and doesn’t seem to have direction.” - 5.0

@danmharrow needs some time to think.
“I can’t put my finger on my feelings here.” - 7.0

And finally, @iheartpoptarts hearts a catchy refrain.
“This album is a bit all over the place. I don’t know what a faux reggae song is even doing here but when the chorus hits I surprisingly like it.” - 8.0​
 
Empty Shoebox

Empty Shoebox

she/her
DJHazey said:
I have some of the weirdest comparisons I am sometimes embarrassed to even type because I know people will be like "what is he on?" ddd.
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What is he like? What's he like anyway?

DJHazey said:
Also is that thread title a city or street or something in Wales?
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Do you mean Penmaenmawr Rd in Llanfairfechan (twinned with Pleumeleuc), which I think is in Gwynedd?
 
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WowWowWowWow

WowWowWowWow

he/him
Breaking news... today we lose a single.










































Well, it was a single in France, Belgium and Italy, anyway.

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Sometimes I Forget
Average score: 6.32
High score: 10 x 2 (@Charley, @tylerc904)
Low score: 4 x 3 (@CasuallyCrazed, @Lost Boy, @Verandi)

Since “Réalise” brought Agnes to #7 in France, perhaps it’s understandable that Team Agnes thought lightning would strike again. Unfortunately, the French version flopped and it didn’t win our rate either. Quel dommage.​

@tylerc904 can’t remember to forget this one.
“This is how you do a ballad. I get very into belting this one out.”- 10

It’s safe to assume that @abael won’t be getting any forget-me-nots.
“It’s nice, I don’t hold anything against it, I mean I barely know it.” - 6.0

In the words of Dannii, Agnes won’t forget about @DJHazey, as long as she lives, as long as she lives.
“I like the more ‘haunting’ approach production-wise on this song, but the song is far too R&B for me to throw any more points at.” - 6.0

Never forget what @berserkboi did, what @berserkboi said (Eurovision 2012 what what).
“I may feel I have underscored this after multiple listens but right now, it’s not really grabbing me…” - 7.8

I see @danmharrow driving around town with the song I love and I’m like forget you.
“Doesn’t deliver in the chorus.” - 5.0

I heard that @londonrain will never forget this song, he’ll never let you out of his heart, you’ll always be here with him, he’ll hold onto the memories.
“I love the production on this.” - 8.0

Don’t you (@iheartpoptarts) forget about the bops. Don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t.
“I found a bop version of this one too but it doesn’t un-ballad as well as I’d hoped.” - 6.0​
 
Verandi

Verandi

WowWowWowWow said:
Breaking news... today we lose a single.

Well, it was a single in France, Belgium and Italy, anyway.

sometimesiforget.png


Sometimes I Forget
Average score: 6.32
​
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I've honestly never heard it Italy so probably the radios said Grazie ma no grazie dddd. I thought this would survive because of the single effect, I'm pleased it didn't.

Also, her fucking team.

"Hey guys Release Me smashed all over Europe. The GP loves this banger. What should we release next?"
*On And On plays in the background*
"What about a ballad?"
"That's genius"
*I Need You Now plays in the background*

- two months later -​

"Heeeeey guyzzz I Need You Now flopped, what should we release to save her career beyond the Baltic Sea?"
*On And On plays aggressively in the background*
"Eh who know we literally released all the potential singles"
*Love Love Love screams "Bitch I'm here"*
"Guys guys guys, what about... another ballad, but even slower???"
"That's genius"
*Sometimes I Forget plays in the background*

- two months later -​

*Agnes' team and Leona Lewis' team are having a kiki about their girls' success. The Titanic theme starts to play*
 
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